the notebook

2011-11-22T08:18:00.000-08:00

Life on the rez....

There are many things that have changed in my life since moving out here to the reservation.....what I wear, what I eat, how I speak, etc. My personality has even changed (I shudder when I think of how loud and obnoxious I was when I first started working out here, 19 years ago).

As I sat in our prayer meeting yesterday morning, I realized something else has changed since I moved here.....my prayer requests. Twenty years ago I would have never thought I would be praying about things like sheep who are sick, a safe day branding cattle, for medicine men and for rain.
I was reminded of this change as we sat around as a staff and shared prayer requests.....
*safety while out cutting wood for the elderly and for Navajo churches
*yet another drunk driving accident
*elderly mom, that she will be safe this winter (still hauls her own wood and uses an out house)
*same elderly mom having visions/dreams of a medicine man that keeps visiting her at night
*missionaries who are struggling to be away from family members who are sick
*the struggle of teaching the concept of "sin" to Native people (they don't understand it because they are taught they are born with a 'neutral' spirit)...the concept of sin is not in their tradition.
*Shalako season in Zuni (google it)....and the persecution the youth experience because of this festival. Some of the kids are being groomed to be leaders in this festival....they are persecuted for NOT wanting to participate, and are often forced to perform and be involved.

These are just a few of the things that are on the hearts of the missionaries here and a few things that are going on to hinder the Word of God coming to the Native people.

If you think about it, please pray for one or two of these this week.....

2011-11-07T06:08:00.000-08:00

Starting a fresh week of school this week.....and staying at home to do it (instead of going to the craft shop, where we usually go) because we are expecting a few inches of snow today....a good day to just stay inside.

Still not having great success in the area of school, but almost getting too tired to care. Just going to move through it and get what we can done each day.

On the agenda this week is the usual math, English (which Abigail is WAY behind in), reading, phonics and handwriting (for Marissa), history and science. We have a couple science experiments coming up....we finally grew some bread mold and are working on some algae and will study them under the microscope. The kids also have a paper due on how we see Christ throughout the Old Testament due this Thursday. That will take up a good chunk of time. They also have to come up with science experiments for Co-op (Peter's is due this Thursday, the girls are due next week).

I will be out of town next week so I am leaving a skeleton schedule for Dad to do with the kiddos. Not going to worry about what gets done and what doesn't.....I'll fix it all when I get back. We are supposed to take that following week off because of Thanksgiving, but not sure if that will happen....may just work all the way through it.

Going to try and not focus on all that is not getting done, but on all the opportunities the Lord gives me. I work full-time outside of schooling and I need to give that some focus, too. I am slowly distancing myself from ministry because of schooling....I need to re-evaluate and follow the Lord and the work He has given me.

2011-11-04T18:10:00.000-07:00

I'm a little bit of a funk these days.....schooling still goes on, but my heart is not in it. We still review spelling words, grow mold for science experiments, and take apart and put fractions back together again.....but I know I'm just going through the motions. I can't get it all done each day, so I live in a constant state of failure and discouragement in this area of my life. That can wear you down.

But In know this is what the Lord wants me to do, so I am going to continue on....trusting that I am walking down the path He has led me on.

Despite my lack of enthusiasm, we are getting some school done.

I won't highlight everything since I have not been here for about a month....but we are moving through it and everyone is doing fairly well, although each child has their own specific struggles. But I have stepped back some (and I use that word loosely) and let them kinda figure out some of their school on their own. I don't feel settled in my mind about it, but at least it is relieving some of the pressure off of me for a few days.....room to breathe. My niece, who seems to struggle the most, has not cried in 2 days....that's a record for the past month or so. Therefore, "I" haven't cried in the past 2 days.

I head up the local Home School Co-op and I think it has been a success....the kids have really seemed to enjoy it. Three of mine have to write a paper for next week and I'm a little worried for them....it's a 2 page paper on how we see God move through the Old Testament....kinda reminds me of my college days! But I'm sure they will do fine and hopefully they will learn something from it.

We have been busy outside of home schooling so that has put a little strain on us, but hopefully things will start to settle down some. The camp schedule is lighter the next couple of weeks so that will help a little.....although the list of things to do outside of serving groups that come is long and continually growing....it will never get done.....but we must do the tasks laid before us and not grow weary in doing good.

Although it's only Friday pm, I am sitting here preparing for next week....and as I write out each child's schedule and plan their lessons, I am saying a prayer for them (and myself) that we will honor the Lord with our efforts and strive to serve Him and others with each task given to us.

2011-10-19T23:33:00.000-07:00

2011-10-14T08:46:00.000-07:00

Well, my goal was to blog here every week about my home school accomplishments....but I haven't really had any in the past 2 weeks so I've avoided it. Both weeks have pretty much been epic failures.....guess that's life.

So, if I only hit the highlights (far and few between) they would be:
the butterflies (from our science experiment) finally came out of their cocoons...and of course they did it while we were in town all week so we technically missed it....but they are out and fluttering around their 'house'

our home school co-op officially started and it seemed to go well....all the kids left smiling so that is a good sign

That's about it.....hoping next week will be better.
Heard from some other home school moms that I'm doing it all wrong, so I'm going to try to find some free time this weekend and re-evaluate everything....should be fun.

It's been a hard couple of weeks.....
couple of tragedies, some personal failures, and lots of 'pondering'.....

I'm sure next week will be better

Home School Weekly

2011-10-02T18:43:00.000-07:00

This week we were on a 1/2 day schedule.....I needed it....lots of outside stress along with the stress of homeschooling led to that decision. It was really nice and I would LOVE to keep that schedule, but just not possible. But I did get some rest and got lots of stuff on my huge "to do" list done, therefore my stress level is lower....praise the Lord! Even though we only schooled 3 hours a day, we still got quite a bit done. We took no breaks during those 3 hours and worked hard. So hopefully I am not too far behind because of it.

MATH:
Peter and Hannah took a test and did well.....YEAH!!!! There are starting a new unit more measures and how to add and subtract them. And I'm pretty sure you hardly EVER use a bushel and a peck in daily life! Abby is reviewing prime numbers and factors....she still struggles on word problems, but so did I so I can have sympathy. Marissa is still working on adding and subtracting, but we've moved to 3 digit numbers. I have not worked enough with flash card with her so that is on the schedule for this coming week. She is doing well with counting money :)

ENGLISH: We did not do much with English this week....lack of time and just got pushed aside. But we will get back on it this week.

READING: Marissa is doing a "little" better....it still takes us almost an hour to do 1 lesson, but I don't feel like poking my eyes out half way through now. I have to sit with her while she reads to help her with words and to ask her questions to make sure she knows what she is reading. But overall, there is a little improvement in the reading area. Abby did much better this week in reading....I went over the questions with her and she did better....made a 100 on her workbook section!

SPELLING: Marissa had a review so she had 60 words to study....she only missed 4 which was really good. Peter actually did really well, too (he struggles with spelling)....I find that the more 'study' time I give him and more review time, he does much better. Hannah did well....and Abby has to take hers on Monday.

PHONICS and HANDWRITING: This is mostly Marissa's subject, although the others do handwriting a couple times a week. Peter SHOULD do it more because his is terrible! Marissa still struggles with phonics but I am going to focus more on "teaching" it and doing every step in the teacher's manual. I do see a little improvement in this area, too. I"m not 'counting to 10" as often :)

SCIENCE: Abby is still studying the structure of a cell.....she did a great drawing of one....she is definitely my artistic one! She is taking her time with the study questions now and doing much better. Marissa did no history or science this week, but I have much planned for her this coming week so hopefully she will have fun with it. She really struggles with remembering what she read...therefore answering the questions at the end of each chapter is rough. The twins are still on arthropods....and loving it! Our caterpillars are starting to form their cocoons which is exciting. They just studied the section on caterpillars, moths, and butterflies. I find it all pretty fascinating :0 The exciting part of the week was our trip to the zoo, aquarium and botanical gardens. I was need to see them remember some of the things they had learned, even from years past. They remembered that a giraffe has 7 bones in their neck, just like us.....that a rhinos horn is made out of hair, and all 4 stages of the butterflies life.....it was a great field trip and we a new homeschool family joined us so they made new friends. It was a long day, but well worth it!

HISTORY: Abby is still taking a tour of Asia...interesting stuff. ANd she will start working on her speech this week. The twins will be doing the same, except their speeches are on First Americans. In Peter's book on Squanto, he found a recipe for cornbread...something that they possibly had on the first 'thanksgiving'....he loved making it and loved eating it even more!

And then there are all the "extra" stuff the kids do....soccer still takes up quite a bit of time....although they cant' attend awana right now because of soccer, they are still working on their books......they take a class at the library every week (they just finished up a 3 week course on how to use the library, and now they will start on a science experiment series).....the girls are still taking knitting lessons and Abby is almost done with her scarf and they both just finished up their heart-shaped wash cloths; next they will be starting on their hats.....and our Bible Quiz season is just starting up so we are studying for that. They are studying I Peter this time.

Overall, I guess we got quite a bit done this week....so hopefully, since we will be back to a full schedule this coming week, we should get TWICE as much done! RIIIIIIIGHT!!! :)

You can check out the other field trip pics on my facebook.....:)

2011-09-26T20:38:00.000-07:00

I"m late posting my Home School Weekly....but at least I"m here.....so overwhelmed, it almost didn't happen :)
Better late than never....

Math:
Abby is finishing up her chapter on Units of Measure...got a test coming up :) We'll see how much 'sunk in'!
Peter and Hannah are starting a unit on measures also...they are reviewing the "ruler"....measuring lines down to the 1/16th...my eyes struggle to see that!
Marissa is still moving through addition and subtraction....trying to help her NOT use her hands when subtracting....not sure how to even do that....

English:
Abby...we are still at a little bit of a stand still as we work on diagramming....the lessons coming up all have diagramming with them so we are just backing up and getting it right.
Twins....more diagramming here, too....along with sentence "math" (figuring out if a sentence is compound or simple). Peter is struggling,but we are going slow.
Marissa....working more with "answering" questions in the form of sentences....and doing some word order things. She is getting it all, but struggles to remember to begin and end a sentence properly...ugh!!!!

Spelling:
Abby and the twins just finished a "review" lesson where they had 100 words to study....everyone passed the test :)
Marissa is just starting her review lesson, but she does pretty well with spelling so it should be ok.

Phonics/Reading:
Marissa is the only one doing phonics and it's still the biggest struggle (this and the reading lessons)....but I had a former home school mom work with her on Thursday and she agreed that Marissa does not know her short and long vowels...but then told me that public schools aren't all teaching that as much any more...more word recognition type reading....so we are pretty much starting from scratch with blends and vowels....but we are moving slow through that and she is catching on to some of it.
Abby is still doing poorly in reading, despite the fact she is a great reader....but after grading her last few lessons, I'm realizing it IS her just being lazy. I had her go back and re-do a couple lessons and she did perfect....so we made a deal that from now on she will take her time and do it right....or else fail and do it over again next year (she does NOT want to repeat it)...so hopefully from here on out things will be better.
Peter still struggles with the reading comp, but I am trying to just sit close to him and help him work it out....today went better :)

History:
Abby is still studying Asia, with emphasis on China (her favorite). She will slowly start working on a 'research' type paper on China or some aspect of it.
The twins are still working on First Americans...they both read 2 books on ones in particular (Peter, Squanto....Hannah Pocahontas)....Hannah is LOVING it!!! And surprisingly, Peter is really enjoying reading about Squanto. They will start working on their speeches next week.
Marissa hasn't read a new chapter this past week....we just keep reviewing what we have learned....need to make progress in this area.

Science:
Abby is working on the "cell"....she will be drawing and labeling one this week.
The twins are still on arthropods.....they love it! They have gone through crustaceans, arachnids, and insects so far. We are now the proud owners of 3 crayfish....I wanted to give them an up close and personal look at crustaceans....I still can't really touch them! Too close to the spider family!! We did do a science experiment from the previous unit....had to do with water pressure...the kids loved it!! It basically taught about the scientific method and how to perform an experiment....they got it :)
Marissa worked more on seeds, wildflowers and weeds.....she continues to add to her seed collection and really enjoys that.

This week, due to some stress I'm having, we are on a 'half day' schedule. We are doing school from 10am - 1pm....taking the mornings to work on some cleaning projects and the 'extras' in our schedule (piano, knitting, awana, etc)....and I'm not allowing for much homework. I am doing school for about 8 hours a day and it's wearing me out. I'm taking this week to 'revamp' my schedule and seeing what works best.
Praying that I can figure this out.....

2011-09-20T14:16:00.001-07:00

I JUST posted that I didn't want to waste any school days...and what did I do today? yep...wasted a perfectly good day.

I let the kids sleep in late because they have been so tired, cranky and whiny....but the day never really got started. Part of it is having hubby home all the time...he doesn't always SEE the big picture of schooling...so in his attempt to help out, he started all the kids on a cleaning project this am that lasted at least an hour. So I worked while he supervised their cleaning efforts, but by the time they were done, I was waist deep in my project. By the time I was done, the kids were scattered...but I did manage to reign them in and get a couple hours of school done....but not without some struggling. Then hubby, again in attempts to help, decided today was a good day to do the science project I'd asked him to help with last week. I truly am grateful for him to do these type of things and the kids had a blast....that's all that should really matter, right :) Just bad timing....

My list of things 'to do' is taller than me.....(well, if I typed it out in really large font)....but you get the idea!

But as I look around my living room....2 kids are playing with Littlest Pet Shop, one is making thank you cards, and the other is practicing magic tricks, I have to remember that I am blessed....my home is filled with noise, laughter, singing (although slightly off key)....my living room is covered with scrap paper (the card making one) but I have a home that's safe and warm.....I have soccer stuff piled in the laundry room, but I also have 4 healthy, happy, athletic kids.....God is good, even when I have to look a little harder and a little deeper to see it....the fact remains, that He is good...all the time.

2011-09-19T13:50:00.000-07:00

It cracks me up that my last post here was the first week of camp.....that says a lot about how the summer went....BUSY! But really, I did start another blog for the camp season

www.brokenarrowbibleranch.blogspot.com

I updated there all summer :)

So I am going to 'attempt' to start blogging here again....
to be honest, I don't have much to say these days except to let you know how schooling is going, since that is pretty much all I do with my days right now. All day, every day......
I am not even really able to do much ministry right now because of it (and soccer)....a busy time in my life, but one that will hopefully pay off one day....*key word, hopefully

So I am going to try to start doing the weekly homeschool updates again....it helps to see it all written out....makes me feel like I actually accomplished something, especially those weeks when I feel like the exact opposite!

We actually started the 3rd week of August, but we had done a few things before that. Since a lot of the math was review, we started that beforehand...so we are officially in our 5th week of school and for the most part, we are on schedule to be halfway done by Christmas. Trying to not take too many unscheduled days off this year. Sometimes I can't help it with the camp schedule being so 'unplanned' but it is my PLAN to stay focused and aggressive about the school schedule.

ABBY:
Math....For the most part we are still in a review: we did all the basics and now we have moved into reviewing units of measure and working with them mentally. She does not love math, but is pushing through it...grades aren't that great.
English....Again, some review, but some new stuff added. She is not grasping a lot of the concepts: predicate nominatives, predicate adjectives, noun of direct address, adverb clauses, etc....and on top of that, the diagramming is killing her. I love to diagram but she does not, so it makes it hard. I am looking up extra work for her online to help.
Spelling....She has very challenging words, but is doing fairly well with it....it's not so much a struggle for her.
Reading....I'm surprised that she is not doing as well in this area....she LOVES to read and spends hours a week doing it, but she just does not do that well with doing the work that goes along with it....just not putting the thought in that's needed to do it right. The grades she is making in this subject is not reflective of her true level of reading, which is disappointing.
History....one of my favorites...not sure how much she enjoys it! Again, she understands it,but does not do well on the study questions at the end of the chapter so therefore her grade is not all that great. She covered maps/globes in the first chapter (I had no idea how expensive globes were! wow!), she studied Europe in the second chapter and now she is studying Asia...THAT has her attention because she LOVES China. I checked out extra books at the library so she could do more research on it....I will have her write a report on some aspect of it in the next couple of weeks. I read all the chapters each kid does so I feel like all I do is read history and science...I have more homework than they do!
Science....She studied the "orderliness" of God's world in the first chapter...she loved doing the project where she had to go outside and find examples of "order" in nature....she found many plants and then cut out pictures of animals that exemplify God's order in the world. She also did a project where she had to make a pendulum...Dad helped her with that one. She is now beginning to study cells (I like this part!) so we bought a microscope and are ready to study the tiny details of God's world.

PETER AND HANNAH:
Math....Like Abby, they are beginning with reviewing a lot of last year's work. Right now they are just finishing up studying fractions....they both did well, but most of the problems Peter missed was because he didn't reduce all the way correctly....just in a hurry, I think.
English.....mostly review...they too are doing some diagramming but it's pretty basic. There seems to be more work on paragraphs which is a struggle for both of them, esp Peter. His spelling is pretty weak and he still does not grasp sentence structure. Hannah struggles with thought flow....guess it will click, one day...
Spelling....They both are doing ok in this area...Peter struggles a little more than Hannah though. They work together a lot, quizzing each other and working on the assignments together.
Reading....HELP!!!! Again, Hannah does a little better, but they both are not very strong in reading comprehension. Reading outloud helps,but I still have to work through the questions with them. But this is the first time with this curriculum and it's a little intense....I am hoping to slowly get them doing it on their own...
History....they seem to really enjoy this subject. Their first Unit was on the US and Canada...they enjoyed tracing and labeling the maps....both did well on their tests. Now they are beginning their study on First Americans and in addition to their assigned school work, I have books for them from the library. Peter will study Squanto and Hannah will study Pocahantas....I am reading all the books first (3 each) so hopefully I will be knowledgeable on each figure, too. They will probably have to do a speech on their character.
Science...their first Unit was on science as an overview.....different branches of science, the scientific method, etc. Now they are starting their study of anthropods...they LOVE that kind of stuff! We are still doing some experiments from the last unit, too.

MARISSA:
She is my niece who is living with us for the year... I am still figuring out what she knows and doesn't know, since I didn't actually school her last year (she was public school).
Math....she seems to be doing ok with this. She is using her fingers less and less and improving on her speed drills. She did not know how to count any money when she started but now she is doing pretty well with dimes, nickles and pennies. She is doing 3 digit addition (not carrying though).
English....she seems to have a good idea on what a sentence is and the different kinds. That is pretty much all the lessons have covered so far.
Handwriting....she has been taught to write some letters/numbers incorrectly but is working to correct that. Otherwise she does pretty well with her penmenship.
Phonics and Reading.....this is where a lot of the crying happens. The curriculum is too hard for her, I'm pretty sure. She does not read very well and didn't know the difference between a long and short vowel...and for some reason, can't grasp it. So it doesn't matter how many times I explain the 'rules' to her, she just can't get it....but we are praying that it will just "click" soon. The daily reading lesson takes over an hour if I sit down and help her...if I don't, it can take well over 2 hours. I"m kinda at a loss here....
History and Science....She cannot read the lessons in these subjects so I do most of that for her, although I do have her read parts of it....but the comprehension (no matter which way we do it) is very low. The questions are too hard for her to do alone. In History she is studying different types of "land" (hill country, plains, mountains, etc) and mostly covering the land of Canada. In Science she has already studied the seasons (brand new concept to her) and now we are looking at seeds, weeds and wildflowers. We have collected several types of seeds and will be working on finding some of the wildflowers she is studying. She enjoys the hands on type stuff!
Spelling....she does really well in this subject, but she just can't read and understand the directions in the lessons on her own. Good speller :)

I know that was a lot...I'm sure most of you didn't even make it to this paragraph! But that is the last MONTH in a nutshell...from now on, it will just be a 'week' in review!
Both Abby and Hannah are still taking piano lessons and knitting lessons. They are finishing up scarves from last year and they have both already done a heart shaped potholder. They will be starting their hat and mittens in the next couple of weeks.
All the kids are involved in soccer and it consumes a lot of our time...but they love it and we want to try and give them a few of the opportunities in town.
Abby is also taking art lessons...she is working with water colors now and will be entering a piece in the upcoming art show...she is excited.

We are starting up our home school group for the year.....we have a lot planned. I am on the leadership committee, along with 2 other women and we are working well together to offer many different activities for our local home schoolers.

Pray as we move through this week....one day at a time!

2011-06-11T06:41:00.000-07:00

Well, the first week of camp is officially over....and we all survived!
Most of us were running on pure adrenaline, excitement, or nervousness (for the new ones!). Either way, the staff started strong and finished the same way. I know there were MANY campers that made decisions for Christ.....it was a fruitful week!

The week started off with our Monday afternoon carnival.....it keeps the campers busy their first few hours after arriving. The activities ranged from jump rope, darts, bb guns, and their favorite....the dunk tank! Then, after a brief orientation and a yummy spaghetti dinner, we all played Red Light, Green Light and then a massive game of hide and go seek!!! It was a great start to the week.
Tuesday was our first 'full' day of camp....and with that came the first of our morning chapels, activity classes and afternoon free times. We also enjoyed a 50 person pillow fight and then a water fight that included the whole camp....over 150 people!!! The water wasn't that cold but the wind made it MUCH colder to stand around soaking wet!
Wednesday and Thursday had more of the same and also included a picnic out in the woods, a HUGE tug of war contest (which the girls won both times), a 100 person game of Simon Says, Mission Impossible, Skit Night and a late night campfire.
Friday came and we wrapped up things with a rocket launch, a fun Awards Chapel, a flash mob and root beer floats. And more importantly, every child left with the knowledge of who God is, what He has done for us and how very much He loves us. Many made decisions to accept this beautiful gift of love this week.....what a wonderful sight to see!

But even with all the tears of joy shed over watching these little ones give their life to Christ, there were some tears of sorrow mixed in.
On Thursday night, after we finished off our skit night with some powerful presentations of the Gospel, many, MANY campers stayed afterwards to talk with their counselors about how to receive Christ. As usual, I was standing in the back, available if anyone needed help, and getting slightly choked up with the scene unfolding in front of me. It's always a wonderful thing to witness and makes it all worth it.
But as I was standing there, Steve came up and shared some terrible news....one of our staff member's sister had just committed suicide. She lived in CA, had struggled with depression for quite some time and the saddest part of all.....she did not know the Lord. My heart was instantly broken and I was overcome with a great sadness.....sadness for my dear friend who had just lost a loved one, but also sadness for the fact that she had just entered an eternity without accepting this free gift of salvation we had just seen presented in skits and given in detail by these hard working counselors sitting in front of me.
This sadness followed me the rest of the evening and all the way to campfire.....that's when it hit me especially hard. As I heard camper after camper stand up and announce they had given their life to Christ that week....some just hours before....about the same time this other person had taken their life.....I could not get the feeling of loss and sadness out of my head. Here I should be rejoicing with each and every camper that stood and announced their profession, but all I could think about was the one that had rejected it and now faces an eternity full of fire, burning and torment. It all reminded me for the small little parable, tucked away in the gospels about the shepherd who went looking for that one lost sheep.....leaving the others, knowing they were safe, to go and look for the one that had strayed. That sheep consumed His thoughts.....
I think I finally understood it....the burden for the lost.....the consuming grief that comes with the reality that some will walk away from the Truth. Even if 99 campers came to know the Lord and now have assurance of their eternity with Jesus, the one that got away will always be in the back of my mind.

Now don't get me wrong, I definitely rejoice that we had such a fruitful and productive week....that kids are now going home to their difficult situations with a new measure of hope and confidence.....it is an amazing thing to be a part of. But help us never to be satisfied with a "profitable" number....help us always to feel that heavy burden for the lost....and to never 'relax' in our position as ministers of the Gospel. Although I am sure I will feel that heavy grief of loss again someday, I pray that I will work tirelessly to NOT experience it! Lord, give me strength, endurance and perseverance in this ministry you have place me in.....and continue to burden my heart for the lost....have mercy on us all.....

2011-05-29T03:34:00.000-07:00

Well, summer is officially here!
I know this because camp has officially begun....for me at least!
Although there are no campers here yet, the camp is slowly filling up with staff and our week of training has started. Several of the "new" staff came in yesterday...making the long trip across the country by plane. It is so neat to see their enthusiasm and excitement. They are excited about everything....from picking out their rooms, to meeting the other staff, to exploring the camp. And it's contagious....I love it.
But I've been working here long enough to know that often, that excitement and energy is short lived. Although the we all love the work and the ministry, eventually, exhaustion and fatigue set in...and excitement is replaced with tiredness. It's inevitable....it's part of the ministry.
As I look around at all the smiling faces, I wonder....which ones will still be smiling at the end of the summer....which ones will walk away more fulfulled and more mature in their faith....which ones will struggle and find themselves in a place of disappointment. I wish I could see ahead and help them....I wish I could prevent any moments of struggle or heartache. Yet I know that it's all part of the plan. God's plan for this summer is bigger than just the campers....than just the camp schedule. It's so much more detailed than that. He has each of our lives, our emotions, our hearts in His hands. And He knows exactly what each of us need.....that's over 1000 lives He is intricately handling all summer. With that in mind, the upcoming struggles and the hard times that some of these kids (and maybe even myself) will walk through are for the best. Although I wish we could all walk away from this summer encouraged, enlightened and closer to God, I know that He has our best interest in mind and knows us more intimately than anyone else.

So, with that said, I am just as excited for this summer....and I'm going to enjoy all these smiling faces for now! And I'm going to embark on the journey with the rest of those who have giveb their summer to the Lord.....
....let it begin!

PS...If you want to follow all that the Lord si doing this summer, you can follow on www.brokenarrowbibleranch.blogspot.com

Back to reality

2011-05-19T17:16:00.000-07:00

For the past week I have been pretty much disconnected from the real world. My family and I spent a great week away from "work", just relaxing and spending time with each other. We were blessed to be able to stay with a dear missionary friend who has build a house so that people like us (tired missionaries) can come and stay for free. We had plenty of room, she cooked breakfast for us every morning and and encouraged us daily. It was great and I loved having no tv and little to no access to the internet (I had to check every other day because of work...blah!).

It was BEAUTIFUL in Phoenix and we spent a lot of time at pools, waterparks, etc. The kids had a blast! We spent some time with my dear bestest camp friend, Lois and her family and that is always an encouragement....she just "gets" me and I can just relax around her. And her generosity towards me and my family is such a blessing. I can't wait for camp to start and I'll be able to be 'encouraged' by her friendship every day!

As we made our way back to Vanderwagen, NM, we noticed the weather changing.....it got colder and colder the further east we drove. When we woke up this morning (our first morning back), we were greeted with 4 inches of snow covering our desert land.....what a drastic change! Not only was the weather a shock and a change, my "relaxed" attitude quickly changed to overwhelmed because of the stack of mail that awaited me, the phone messages, the emails and my messy house that all cried for my attention. It makes me almost forget my time away, surrounded by my relaxed family, laughing and vegging. BUT, I am determined to remember those days fondly and rejoice in them, AND do the same with the days that surround me now....although they look MUCH different, they are still worthy of rejoicing in....'for THIS is the day that the Lord has made....". I am trying to retrain my brain into finding the joy in the busy days too....in the middle of the "loudness".....when I'm surrounded by people and projects that demand my attention.....when I'm tired. Each day is a gift from God and I am trying to cultivate a better attitude of thankfulness.....starting today :)

So as I have a few minutes alone in my house, I am going to turn on some praise music, roll up my sleeves and get busy on my "to do" list.....rejoicing all the way...... :)

My Last Home School Weekly

2011-05-06T14:07:00.000-07:00

Well, we are winding up with school....finally!

I am not going to post anymore weekly wrap-ups because basically we are only doing math and english at this point. I hope to be done with both of those in the next couple of weeks. We will for sure be done by the 18th, no matter what. At that point I have to give my full attention to getting the last minute projects done here at camp.

It has been a pretty productive past 2 weeks though....
We are flying through math, averaging about 2 lessons at least a day. Most of it is review or just really easy stuff. We are doing about the same in english.....Abby will not finish her book but I'm ok with that. We are starting a new curriculum for her in that subject next year so I'm good with where we are. We will be doing review in both subjects and then final exams. YAY!!!!

Last week we did do one last field trip....
My kids studied bees in co-op and so we took a trip to a local bee farm. The kids LOVED it! It was so neat to see them put what they had learned together with the real thing. I learned lots too.
It's been a pretty good year for our home school group, tiny as it is. We have had several field trips, 2 successful co-ops and quite a few "fun" days (swimming, bowling, hiking, etc). We are looking forward to just as much fun next year.

We have a light summer curriculum. I can do almost next to nothing school-wise in the summer, but we are going to just do a couple things a week....a math sheet every now and then, along with a few grammar work sheets...nothing heavy. But they will read quite a bit this summer. I have already ordered my curriculum for next year so I will go through that and have them go ahead and start some of the 'extra' reading. And I have a whole list of literature I want them to start on. They have a 'reading/rest' time every day so that will be a definite.

It's been a long year. The second half was much more difficult than the first. My camp schedule keeps me so busy...I really struggle to keep up with school on top of it. But I keep reminding myself that for us, this is the choice we have made and I am praying that in the end, it will all be worth it.

2011-05-04T08:57:00.001-07:00

I couldn't sleep last night......
I have so much on my heart and mind that I just could not find the 'peace' to fall asleep. It made for a very long, hard night.....and by morning, I was struggling to be the cheerful "everybody wake up, it's a brand new day" kind of mom that I usually try to be. So my hubby graciously offered to take the kids to gymnastics and the library for me (our usual Wed schedule). He told me to get some sleep, if I needed it. But as I have the house to myself and some soft Jim Brickman playing through the speakers in the house, I feel like if I get things accomplished, it will actually make me feel more rested (mentally, at least).....the sleep will come later...I'll get caught up.

So my first task this morning was not a pleasant one....but it had to be done.

Last night, I was driving home and saw 2 ladies on the side of the road, trying to get a ride. Now don't get me wrong....I hardly ever give rides to people, but since it was 2 older ladies and I didn't have my kids with me, I decided to do it. As I stopped, a man came out of the store and joined them. Turns out it was one of their sons and he needed a ride too. They were all VERY drunk (not unusual out here) but I decided to go ahead....they were too drunk to do anything anyways. They were very grateful for the ride and kept going on and on about how appreciative they were....in their very slurred speech.
One thing that really stuck out to me was the terrible odor that was coming from them. Apparently, one of them had gone to the bathroom in their pants and the stench almost made me gag. It was the longest 5 miles I've ever driven.
When I dropped them off and started heading home, I realized the smell was still there. I rode home with my windows down the last mile home, in hopes it would help. It didn't. I got home and immediately sprayed some lysol on the seats to try and at least cover it up. When I went out an hour later to get something out of the van, the smell was still there.....on closer inspection, all THREE of them must have messed their pants because there were 3 stains where they had once sat....I was not happy.
So I set about trying to clean it....I used some laundry stain remover....used some carpet cleaner....and LOTS of lysol. When I went out this morning, it was still over powering! So now, with a quiet house to enjoy for a couple of hours, I have spent a great deal of it out there scrubbing (using laundry detergent this time and a scrub brush....and febreeze!!). I noticed as I scrubbed, my bowl of water with the detergent in it was getting nasty.....I changed it several times....this was a gross job. And it reminded me.....

...sin is not pretty. Sin is gross. And it always leaves traces of itself on everything it touches. And sometimes we will be able to remove those traces of it....of course in God's eyes, when we confess our sins, He faithfully forgives and makes us clean. But in our lives, we still may have those traces, the slight scent of sin that lingers....for days....months....even years. Sin is not pretty......it's gross.

This 'clean up' job is a reminder that my sin affects not just me, but other people.....it can leave behind a foul smell. When I get angry at my children, that bitter taste of the words linger.....when I allow discouragement to run rampant, the unpleasant smell can just cling to me and follow me around for days.....when I forsake my time with the Lord, then everything I set my hands and mind to do that day can be tainted with pride, judgemental attitudes, selfishness, etc. My sin affects those around me.

As I have spent time in my van this morning, scrubbing out the stains and the smell, I have been trying to pray for those 3 'smelly' people that rode in my van for just a short time. They shared their hearts with me, they shared their pain, they shared their loss.....they begged me to remember them in my prayers.....I promised I would do that. And I am, as I try and restore my van to it's original condition....I pray that they will not leave the 'stench' of sin in anyone else's life....that someday, their lives will turn into a beautiful offering to God....a fragrant offering to the Savior. I pray the same for my life....that today, in all its peace and quiet (except for good ole Jim Brickman in the background) that my life will be a sweet smelling offering to the Lord.

Pray for Judy, Joanne, and Ernest today.....
and for all the other hurting Native people who live within just a couple miles of me.....the hurt is great, the pain is deep and the loss is unmeasurable.

2011-04-22T10:30:00.000-07:00

It's another weary Friday for me.

We have had 2 weeks of work teams (praise the Lord for the HUGE amount of work they did!!!), but I am tired after having non-stop work going on during that time. AND trying to get some school done. This last team was over 70 people so that was a lot of mouths to feed....it was many, many hours in the kitchen.
But the camp is once again quiet, 2 houses have new roofs (mine included), lots of things have been painted and cleaned, hobart got a makeover, and the beginning stages of completely priming and repainting the lodge has begun. Those teams come in like whirlwinds and do so much work....then leave as quickly as they came. I have seen many things accomplished this week.....some people worked on the big, noticable projects, like the roofs or the painting....while it was encouraging to see those who worked quietly, on less noticeable projects, like cleaning out our pantry and walk in...or wiping out ALL the shelves in the kitchen (and there are alot of shelves!).....some people even cut out THOUSANDS of snack shop certificates for us to use this summer! What a blessing to have these groups come in and give up their vacations and spring breaks just to help us out. Some were professionals and many were just high schoolers....but all did their best to be a support and encouragement to not only the staff that live here all year, but to the summer staff and campers that will be flooding our gates in the next few weeks. We really could not do it without their willingness to come and serve in this way.

Thank you!!!

HOME SCHOOL WEEKLY

2011-04-17T20:11:00.000-07:00

A pretty decent week....despite the broken thumb (Abby), the work team, and home school outings.

MATH:
Again, we made up time in this subject....several days we did 2 lessons....even got one done on Wednesday (crazy busy day in town). Almost got a whole chapter done with the twins (10 lessons).....so we'll start this coming week with a test and then keep plowing through. Abby is almost done with percents (yay!). And we have added speed drills back to hers as well.

ENGLISH/GRAMMAR:
Alamo paper DONE!!!! Moving back into more 'grammar' type stuff (Abby). Didn't quite hit my goal with this subject but we'll just keep pushing along. Now that we are done with "paper writing" it should move faster. She also is working on the "tan book" with is more grammar and literature. We may continue with that book through the summer. I like it as a supplement to her other english/grammar. The twins also made up good time in English....again, didn't hit my goal with them but this past week we did double up almost every day. The upcoming few lessons are mostly repeat stuff so hopefully we will move quickly. I really want to finish up this subject for the year...I mean really finish the book. English and Math are the 2 subjects I really try to finish each year...not sure why.....

SPELLING:
Abby finished her words for the week and made a 96 on the test. The twins got everything done except the test.....we'll get that done first thing Monday morning then start a new week. It was just a review week for them (a review of several weeks worth of words)....i anticipate they will do ok on it.

VOCAB and HANDWRITING:
Abby is the only one doing vocabulary right now and doing about 2 chapters a week. I'm not testing her on that, just allowing her to work through the lessons. The twins are doing the handwriting and they really enjoy it. I think they are probably behind in their cursive writing....I need to start making them write more in cursive. Peter struggles with just print....not sure if I should push the issue.

SCIENCE:
Not even really sure if I'm going to start a new subject in science.....we only have about 1 month less. We have been watching some "Life" episodes. Sometimes I have them write papers on what they watch, but I haven't this time.
HISTORY:
I really had intentions of continuing in our study (from before co-op) of US geography. We are doing a study called "Man in the Map". We will definitely pick it up this week. We should be able to get it done in a month.

EXTRA STUFF:
Abby still can't take part in piano lessons, but she is able to play somewhat (just can't use her left thumb!). Hannah is going above and beyond what her teacher asks of her. She said that Hannah could possibly catch up with Abby even pretty soon.
In the area of knitting, Abby finished her first official wash cloth (the previous ones were just practice, no trim, etc)....this one is nice. And although she didn't officially finish it because her teacher had to do the last 2 rows (broken thumb, remember?), she did a great job and is ready to give it away as a gift. Hannah should finish hers this week. Not sure what their next project will be. They will continue to work on their scarves.
They have written several letters this week....I like them to try and work on that every now and then. They enjoy it, so that is a good thing!
We havent' done much baking this week because of Abby's injury, but we should be able to get a couple things done this week.

We did get together with our home school group and went bowling. It was a great afternoon....except for Abby :( Even Wes was able to get away and join in the fun. We also all got together at the library again this week. The kids are still going through the book Bridge to Tarebithia. We'll be getting together again this week for a field trip.

We have another work team in this week (about 70...so the cooking and cleaning is alot more intense) so please pray that I can still focus here at home AND still try and minister to the team and get to know them....along with the other ministries going on. Pray for my kids too....we are doing lots of extra work (longer hours)...just pray I can encourage them and love on them while being an efficient teacher.

I hope all you other home school moms are getting lots done in these last couple of months...press on!!!

Enough

2011-04-14T07:56:00.000-07:00

God is really all we need....He is "enough". That is a truth that is said many times in our christian circles....I've even said it several times myself. But I'm not sure if I always believe that, or even live according to that truth....

Last night I drove, like I do every week, an hour out to Ft Wingate. It's a boarding school for navajo kids, and a couple other ladies and I teach Bible lessons there. Usually, when we arrive, the first little girl to see us coming starts spreading the word that we are there and by the time we get to the meeting room, everyone is buzzing and excited that it's time for another "church" time (well, most of them, anyways). This week we arrived as usual at 6pm and were greeted by an empty, very quiet meeting room. There was not a girl in sight, on the whole wing. They had gone on a 'field day' to a local park. No one had bothered to call us, no one had given thought to our plans to come out and spend time with the girls. It was discouraging, to say the least.
Well, as Ruth and Ann headed downstairs to teach the little boys (who ALSO were on that same field trip, they soon found out!) I headed over to the older girls, glad that my drive out there was not going to be a total waste. As I rounded the corner I could hear the talking and laughing coming from their meeting room. I was glad to hear they weren't gone for the afternoon as well. So as I started my teaching and began to share my heart with these girls, it soon became apparent that they had very little interest in what I was saying. Now that in itself is nothing new, but I knew the dorm parent had really come down on them about how they treat visitors and for the past couple of weeks, they had at least sat quietly and 'pretended' to be interested. But this week, it was back to reality. As I shared the final lesson in my study of Proverbs 6 and the seven things that God detests, the girls mocked the Scripture, talked openly amongst themselves, made faces, and overall seemed annoyed that I was even there. When I tried to encourage them about my next week's lesson on the death and resurrection of the Savior, they only replied, "ok, cool, now leave". When I let them know that I was praying for them as they finished up their school year, again the reply was 'thanks, now bye'. My closing prayer was the shortest ever as I could hardly hold back the tears. I wasn't sad they had rejected me, although that's not the best feeling in the world....I have a pretty tough skin when it comes to teen agers. But my heart just suddenly became so tired and weary that I thought I would just completely fall apart in exhaustion.
I left as quickly as I could and waited til I was in the sanctuary of my van before I finally let myself cry. As I pulled out of the parking lot, a song came on.....Enough, by Barlow Girls. I like that song ok....never thought much about it....but as I pulled out onto the lonely 2 lane road headed back to the interstate, I was struck by the words...simple and true...."all of You, is more than enough for me..." I almost laughed at the simplicity of it and my response to those girls....I was getting all upset about what response I thought I "needed" from those girls....but really, I had everything I needed in my Savior. And although, in that moment it was hard to have my needs met in an 'intangible' way (I wanted to call someone and just sit and cry for a long time!), I just allowed myself to really grasp that truth and rest in it.....it was much easier than I thought it would be.
I still cried most of the way home, but there was a peace that was there now.....a peace that passes all understanding.

My times at Ft Wingate will still not be "fun" as long as the girls continue with that attitude....but I'm praying I can leave with a better attitude each week, knowing that I truly have all I need, and that's 'enough'.

ENOUGH (by Barlow Girl)

All of You is more than enough for
All of me for every thirst and every need
You satisfy me with Your love
And all I have in You
Is more than enough

You are my supply
My breath of life
Still more awesome than I know
You are my reward
Worth living for
Still more awesome than I know

You're my sacrifice of greatest price
Still more awesome than I know
You're my coming King You're everything
Still more awesome than I know

HOME SCHOOL WEEKLY

2011-04-11T10:10:00.000-07:00

Well, I'm late again....but this time with a slightly better reason. Yesterday, in the middle of our quiet afternoon of rest, Abby came running in screaming about her thumb....I took one look at it and knew it was broken.....(broken stuff makes me queasy). Long story short, after a trip to the er, it was confirmed that she broke (shattered is a better word) her thumb and the Mlekodaj kids have experienced their first real ER trip. I've called for a follow up appointment with the orthopedic, but we won't get in til early next week. They will decide if they will re-cast it or just put a light splint on it. Praying all that will go well.
After a fitful night's sleep, we are up and attempting school (not Abby....she is well "medicated" and veggin'!). So, here's our accomplishments from last week.

MATH
Again, we made up time in this subject, often doing 2 lessons a day. But there was at least one day we didn't do any so I'm not sure if we made real progress or not! Either way, we made good efforts and are moving along. Even as I type this, the twins are doing 2 lessons (the first was just a review of dividing by larger numbers, so we just talked through that one)....I love the feeling of "catching up"!!! Abby also is making good progress....we can't often do more than one lesson with her because she is learning new stuff every day and usually has more work. But we have done it a few times and she is conquering percents very well! Everyone took tests recently and scored well....(sigh of relief!).

GRAMMAR/ENGLISH:
I don't feel like this subject got as much attention as I would have liked. There were 2 days we didn't get to it at all...but then there was at least one day we doubled up. Again, not necessarily moving 'ahead' but not falling further behind either. Abby's paper on the Alamo was put on hold while she finished up two papers for co-op. She will finish that up once she is able to do school again. She really just has to correct her rough draft and get the final one typed out. She is almost done with her 'review' grammar book (something she just works on every now and then to stay on top of stuff she previously learned). I have a goal to get through 2 chapters this week (that would take doubling up every day) so I doubt that will happen with the broken thumb incident. But we'll see. Some stuff we may be able to just talk through. It's mostly about writing papers right now. Thankfully, it was her left hand that was hurt and she is right handed. So once we are over most of the 'pain' we can get busy again.
I also have a goal to be done with a unit in the twins book too...but again, gotta double up this week. It's all pretty easy right now so I feel like we can do that. It's nice because if they get the hang of it, great, and we keep moving.....but if someone is struggling, then we can just slow down again and take our time until understanding sinks in.

SPELLING:
Everyone did really well on their spelling tests last week. Abby already started her new list and the twins will start one today. Peter really struggles still (possible dyslexia) but the more time I spend with him, the better. I still have plans, before the public schools get out for the summer, to get him tested for dyslexia.

HISTORY/SCIENCE:
Co-op.....
For the past few weeks they have received most of their history and science at co-op. They have studied New Mexico History for history and Bees for Science. Last week was our last week of co-op (praise the Lord!) and they finished well. They each had to write a biography on a famous New Mexican explorer and then for science they had to write a paper on bees (i think i wrote more in detail about that last post). They finished them all, read them out loud for the whole co-op group and now it's over! They also, for NM history made a replica of a covered wagon....very cute! Also, the adobe bricks they made in week 2....they brought those back to class and then dropped them outside to see if they would break, thus determining if they were solid enough to build houses with. Peter and Hannah's broke on impact, but Abby's stayed together :)
I am already putting together the possible classes for our Fall Co-op semester....it will be here before I know it!!

READING:
Everyone is still in the same books, but should be wrapping them us this week. I am almost caught up with Abby in the Bronze Bow and I am loving it! When they finish up, they will write book reports on them.

EXTRA STUFF:
Piano.....Going really well for Hannah...she will play the offeratory on Easter Sunday. Abby, unfortunately will put her piano career on hold until the thumb is healed.
Knitting.....same thing. It's going really well, and Abby will have to stop for a while. She is literally about 2 rows away from finishing the washcloth she is making for a gift. Once she is better she will start another one and also continue on her scarf. Hannah is about 1 lesson away from finishing hers...and she too will continue on her scarf and a practice washcloth she is working on. They will both attempt to make an additional scarf to help a friend with a project to give out scarves and hats to the homeless this Christmas. I will help them with that project and hopefully between the 3 of us, we can get a few made by then.
They are all still very involved in awana, gymnastics and Bible study. I can't remember if I posted it last time, but they are finished with Bible Quizzing for the year. They came in 1st all but once. We will have an awards banquet next month to recognize their hard work. We studied the book of John and I am so impressed with how much they learned....and I learned lots too! Great experience!

I had high hopes to start this week off well (early). There is a workteam here and we were going to eat breakfast at the lodge each morning (7:30) and then start school right away. But with the long day yesterday and the not so restful night's sleep, the day started late. But so far, we are moving along. I even used my lesson plan notebook for the first time in months! I have all the lessons written out and scheduled for the week. We will PERSEVERE!!!!

Home School Weekly

2011-04-03T06:52:00.000-07:00

I didn't do a 'wrap-up' last week because it was so busy....so I don't want to miss it again. I'll try to re-cap the past 2 weeks as briefly as I can.

MATH:
We made great progress in math (more so with the twins). On more than one day we did double lessons. It's a little harder with Abby because her lessons are a little more intense and longer. But we are moving along. I have set up goals in all the subjects, to reach a certain place by April 15th....I'm praying we can accomplish that.
Everyone has completed a math test (2 for the twins) and is doing well. Abby is starting a new chapter and it will cover percents. The twins are wrapping up a chapter on adding and subtracting fractions.

SPELLING:
We finally got some spelling done! Abby did a whole week, test, and has started another lesson. She has always done really well in spelling...praying it stays that way:)
The twins will take a test on Monday. Peter struggles a little more than Hannah, but with some extra attention he can do well. This week's words are hard for Peter....."interrupt, underneath, elevator, neighbor, etc..."we just have to take it slow, and sometimes we have to test twice (and combine the scores).

ENGLISH/GRAMMAR:
Abby is continuing her lessons on writing a research paper. She completed her rough draft (her paper is on the Alamo) and will type it out on Monday.
The twins are making good progress in their English.....some days we do 2 lessons....the ones that are easier and somewhat 'review'. They are working on different types of verbs right now, and will continue that topic for the next couple of weeks. I want to be done with this Unit by April 15th....doable, but with much focus and determination!

VOCABULARY:
Abby hasn't done any work in her vocab book the past couple of weeks....it's not something we do every week. But she did finish up her Explode the Code book and ended up with a 95/A on the whole book. The twins are moving through their Explode the Code book.....probably just a couple more weeks in that. Then we'll be through for the year.

READING:
Abby is still reading The Bronze Bow......she is about 1/2 through it, doing some vocabulary from that and answering discussion questions on the book. Peter is reading a Boxcar Children book....that's about his level. Hannah is still reading Little House on the Prairie.

HISTORY/SCIENCE
Co-op:
Right now, they are getting their history and science at Co-op. In New Mexico History they are learning about the Santa Fe trail and the explorers involved in that. They are doing a biography on a famous explorer and it is due on Thursday. They will just be starting that paper on Monday so we will have to really focus on that this coming week. Two weeks ago they had a "spanish" day....they got to dress up in spanish attire and they made homemade tortillas with all the trimmings. It was a fun day for them :)
For science they are studying bees at co-op. The kids LOVE this class! They have really enjoyed making their lapbooks and telling me all about what they have learned. They have even been 'bee hunting' here at the camp and love to get up close and personal with them (now that they know which ones will sting and which ones won't). They are also writing a paper in this class. Abby is writing hers on the different kinds of bees (queen, worker and drone), Peter is writing his on the Queen Bee and all her duties, and Hannah is writing hers on the life cycle of a honey bee. All they have left to do is type them out.
It's really time consuming for the twins to write research papers....they haven't studied how to do that in detail yet so I have to walk them through most of it. I helped them with their outlines but they are responsible for actually writing out the paragraphs. It's tempting to help them more, but I need to let them do that. They DO know how to write paragraphs so I just need to let them work it out.
We only have one more week of co-op so we will go back to doing history and science at home. We will pick back up in American History but I don't know what we will do for science. We only have about 6 more weeks of school so it needs to just be a short study.

HANDWRITING:
I've started doing handwriting with the twins again.....something I have neglected since Christmas.

BIBLE QUIZZING:
We just finished up our last tournament for the year. We studied the whole book of John this year and they have learned lots....me too!! They won every tournament except one. This weekend they scored more points than they ever have. Abby really did a great job and really stepped up and was actually competitive. The twins are the youngest in the whole program, but they manage to answer a couple.

Extra Stuff:
Awana.....Peter just finished one of his books. He is very excited about that.
Piano......The girls are doing really well. Hannah is working on "Were You There".....hoping it will be ready in time for Easter and she can play at church. Abby is really loving the "fast" songs. She loves to memorize those and play them over and over :)
Gymnastics......They all really enjoy it and are showing improvement. Peter has only been involved in it for a few months but he is doing really well.
Home Ec........The girls are involved in a 7 year course.....although Hannah technically shouldn't start until 6th grade (she is in 4th), I am letting her start in some of the areas. She and Abby are both doing the knitting and doing well. Still working on their scarves and also working on nice washcloths for a birthday gift. Abby may finish hers up on her next lesson....Hannah probably has 2 more lessons. In the area of cooking, I am only letting Abby do the actual required cooking for the course. Hannah wants to cook so I am letting her do more "box" recipes right now. But Abby is really enjoying the cooking part of it. This week she made whole wheat tortillas, fruit kabobs with strawberry dip, and banana bread. She did all the list making, shopping and preparing for each recipe. She also (outside the course) made some peanut butter cookies. She just loves to bake.....not sure where she gets it! Hannah made a lemon cake with lemon icing, and Peter found a recipe for Honey Bee Cookies and made a batch for the Bees co-op class....big hit!
PE.....Abby is the only one involved in the homeschool pe class. They are doing floor hockey right now, but in a couple weeks I heard they will be doing frisbee golf....a favorite out here at the camp!! :)

So that's a 2 week wrap up....again, it doesn't feel like much but I have to take what I can get and keep moving forward. Makes me want to get some school done TODAY....on a SUNDAY! But I will try to control my urge and wait until tomorrow :) Today we will attempt to rest.....tomorrow will be here soon enough! :)

A Day of Rest

2011-03-25T16:42:00.000-07:00

Most would say that Sunday is our official day of rest....unless you are a pastor or youth leader. And for us, we really do try and protect our Sundays as much as possible. We go to church, sometimes grab a quick lunch and then head home to hide in our house the rest of the day. My kids aren't allowed to invite any other kids in on that day (they have the other 6 days a week to flood through my house!) and we tell our kids to give everyone their space as well. It's just a time we can count on being home and together. I like it! And occasionally, we even get a nap in there!

But this week, I took today off....a random Friday....the last day of the week. It's because we have had teams at the camp for the past 2 weeks. Don't get me wrong, I love it when you can hear the sound of bulldozers, chainsaws, hammering, etc....it means progress and the getting of so many things done! Things that would take our small staff months to do, these work teams get done in a matter of days....Praise the Lord!
And although everyone is busy and up to their knees in work, we still make the time to sit and chat, swap stories, and share ministries (the ups AND the downs).

But as sweet and productive as those times are, they are still tiring and make a body weary. Therefore, I am resting today. It wasn't necessarily planned, but as I started to move around this morning, my body started to tell me, in little ways, that I was tired. My legs were a little stiff, my back ached a little, and my mind seemed in a fog.
Now, for those of you that know me, you know that I do not "rest" well. So at first, I ignored those little signs of fatigue and was just going to push through, but after a while I decided just to sit down for a few minutes. I gave the kids a little break from school and I just sat....didn't turn the tv on, didn't get on the computer....just sat. That was when I realized I was truly tired, and I couldn't get up if I wanted to. I finally gave in and just decided just rest.....and rest....and rest. For the rest of the day, I have "worked" at resting. I couldn't let school altogether, but I did cut it way back and did it from the confines of my big comfy chair. My house needed much cleaning, but my kids chipped in and I just got up a couple times to do a few things. I've done a little computer work, but kept it to a minimal. Although my mind is swimming with things I need to do, I have resigned to just make a list and work on it starting tomorrow.
All this may seem silly and trivial, but like I said, I am just not good at coming to a complete stop and just resting. But I know enough about the Scripture to realize that even Jesus took times of rest. Now He didn't necessarily do it by deciding not to clean his house or by turning off the tv...but He did find time to get away from the ministry "needs" around Him. On more than one occasion He removed Himself from the crowds and found time to be alone with His Heavenly Father. Apparently, it's good for the soul :)

Even though I will have twice as much to do tomorrow, today has been good. My body had rested, my mind has rested, even my spirit has rested. And I've actually enjoyed it. I might have to try it again sometime! :)

Home School Weekly

2011-03-19T22:18:00.000-07:00

Well, this week was pretty much a flop in the area of school.
We had a work team here all week and I spent most of my time in the lodge kitchen. Although on more than one occasion I did bring the kids up there with me to do school, but it was hard to give them the attention they needed. The neat thing was, there were several "home school" moms on this team and more than once I looked over to see one of them helping my oldest with her math. That was encouraging.....wish they could have helped every day!!!

Unfortunately, I was on my own the rest of the week and the battle between schooling and my work schedule began....and my work schedule ended up winning. But the school work will eventually get done, right? One day at a time, giving it to the Lord on a daily basis.....

We have another work team in this week, but my kitchen schedule is lighter (I worked lots last week because we had one cook down sick, another out of town early in the week, and another back east attending a funeral)....this week i only have to work a couple times.

Math:
We actually did pretty well in this subject. The twins started off with a math test and then ended up finishing 6 lessons for the week...that was encouraging. Abby did one lesson a day so I guess I should be happy with that. Abby is working on metric measurements....I let her in on the secret that she will hardly use them in her adult life....she was happy about that!

Reading:
I said I was going to choose the books for the twins this time, but in my busyness, I only got half of that done. Peter chose another Box Car book, but I gave Hannah the Little House on the Prairie book. Abby is still reading the Bronze Bow.....I am behind her in the reading....I need to catch up!
Peter finished his book report on his last book, and both Hannah and Abby have their rough drafts done....slow progress.

English/Grammar:
The twins finished up a unit in their English (they are using Rod and Staff) and are ready to take a test on Monday. Abby continues on in her English (Bob Jones) and she is working on how to write a research paper. She has had some experience in this, but I haven't given detail to siting her information. She will work on that more this week. I went through her book the other night and realized she will not finish it this year. It's hard for me to be "ok" with that, but I'm going to try! :) She can even finish it up next year, slowly, along with her new curriculum. She is also working in through the 'tan' book, Learning Language Arts Through Literature. Again, she will not finish the book this year, but something that can be worked on next year.

History/Science:
We didn't do much in this subject this week. This is one area where my work schedule won over the school schedule. But they are getting the history through co-op this month.....just wanting to give them a little more than that. Again, this week will hopefully have more opportunities here.

Spelling:
Didn't even touch this subject !!!

Extra Activities:
The girls are continuing in their knitting (over halfway done with their wash clothes and moving right along with their scarves). They are also doing well in their piano, hopefully the opportunity to play at church will happen this month.
They are also making baby blankets for the newborns at the Indian Hospital. They have really enjoyed this project.
We missed AWANA this week, but they still worked hard on their sections. They should have several to get signed off on this coming week.

Co-op:
We have to get started on the papers that are due in both their classes. They have one on bees, and they also have one on an explorer (I think that's the topic) for their New Mexico History class. We are halfway through the semester....so far, so good!

Like I said, it was not a very productive week, but I have to remind myself that I work a full time job AND home school....I need to just pace myself and do what I can.

Plans for this week:
To obviously do better in all subjects.....to finish Peter's research paper......to get some "PE" in this week (the kids want to do some running).....to do 3 more baby blankets.....to read the next two chapters for Bible Quizzing and work on the memory verses.
I'm feeling a little overwhelmed with all that needs to be done in school and in my ministries....along with camp projects. One thing at a time, right?

Home School Weekly

2011-03-12T10:43:00.000-08:00

I got this idea from a friend's blog (thanks emily) and I thought it would help ME if I could actually see all that I accomplished in the area of home schooling at the end of the week. On a day to day basis, I don't feel like I'm getting much done....we'll see what if I'm more encouraged if I can step back and get a different perspective... It's a lot of reading so don't feel obligated to read it all!!!

Math: It is sometimes a discouraging subject for me because we are always behind in this subject. I like to finish up school early May (because it gets too crazy at the camp in May)....but we have 70 lessons to do in 50 days...and that is going all the way to the THIRD week in May! I really like to finish our math, so praying we can succeed. Everyone is doing fairly well in it....teaching Abby is getting hard for me (math is not my strength!) and there are some days I have to really read the instructions in detail before I get it. I can DO math, but I cannot teach it very well. But thankfully it's easy right now....metric units of measure. I can handle that. The twins just finished up a chapter and will be working on more multiplication lessons....just larger and larger problems. Again, this should be fairly easy....we even have the potential to move ahead...maybe????

ENGLISH/GRAMMAR: Another subject we are behind in, but making progress. This one I'm not too worried about because it is such a repetitive subject. Abby is working on reference books (how to use) along with how to site information when writing a paper. The twins are studying pronouns....Peter has been slow to catch on (as far as what pronouns go with who and whom questions), but like I said, that subject will come around again :)

READING: They all just finished up books this week and have started on their book reports... Abby finished up "Abe Lincoln Grows Up" which was basically chronicles the life of Abe Lincoln til the age of 19 years old. Abby didn't 'love' it but she did learn quite a bit about the early years of this former president. She is now reading the Bronze Bow as part of her literature study. I'll be reading that too so that I can discuss it more knowledgeably with her. The twins both finished up more 'pleasure' type books. I let them alternate between literature and fun books. Abby reads a lot in her spare time so she gets plenty of both, but the twins don't spend as much time outside of school reading (although Hannah is doing it more and more). They both just finished up mystery books (they love those) and have also started their book reports. Before that Hannah had read Little Women and we are going to get the movie from the library and watch it. She is excited. Peter wants to start on a Hank the Hound Dog series, although I'm not sure if that's challenging enough for him (he is a little behind Hannah in reading though), but we'll see. And Hannah will be starting on the Laura Ingalls Wilder series. We are also reading aloud through the Chronicles of Narnia....we just finished Voyage of the Dawn Treader and have started The Silver Chair.

SPELLING: Everyone finished up their week of spelling words and I only had one that is going to have to retake their test. My kids are really not that great at actually 'studying' and I have one that just seems completely lost when I tell them to do it. So we are working on that area and spelling is a good place to start.

RESEARCH PAPERS: We watched a documentary on the wildlife of Madagascar a couple weeks ago, and from that I had each child choose an animal they wanted to write about. Abby chose the Fossa, the largest predator on the island, Hannah chose the Mouse Lemur, which is the smallest of that species, and Peter chose the Giraffe Beetle, a long necked leaf eating insect. Everyone did really well in researching their topic, taking notes, organizing them into paragraphs, and finally writing or typing out their final product (Peter is the only one that still has to write his final draft because he was sick when we finished them up). They will then orally present their research findings to the "class" (me, Wes, and their siblings).....trying to work on their presentation skills.

JOURNALS: We write in our journals about 3 mornings a week. This is a time where they can relax and not worry so much about grammar, spelling or punctuation (although I encourage them to do their best)....I don't grade on those skills. It's just a time where they practice putting thoughts onto paper. I give them 10 minutes to write everything they can on a certain subject. This weeks subjects included things like "My Secret Club" and "Why Do I Pray"....they also spent one day of journaling writing sympathy cards to a family member who had lost a dear pet. They really enjoy this subject! As far as

History and Science, we are not doing anything in particular right now because they are in co-op. They are studying a history and science subject there so I give them a break during these 6 weeks from it at home. I do tape a lot of history and science type shows though and we enjoy watching those. We are finishing up a documentary titled "America Before Columbus" which details Native American Indian life, the wildlife that was here, and then why others came in search of new lands. For the science, my kids love Time Warp, How It's Made, and any animal shows!

Co-op We have a home school co-op here (although VERY small and new compared to many others) and my kids love it. They are studying New Mexico History (part 2) and learning lots about how New Mexico came into existence and the rich history of the people. Just this past week they made 'adobe bricks' (what a mess!) so they could experience just a taste of the amount of work that went into building homes back then. They are also taking a class on Bees...this class is two fold in that it is teaching in detail on this subject and they are also learning how to make a lap book, which they can then be able to do for any other subject they want. They are really enjoying this class as well and we are hoping we can arrange a field trip to a local bee farm.
Library....They also take a class at the library every week, although they stayed home this week. For the past 2 months they have studied famous artists....they learn about the history of the artist and then do an art project that stresses that artist's style. Next week they start a book study on Bridge to Terabithia.

Extra Curricular:
Bible Quizzing....the kids are on a Bible Quizzing team and they compete with 2-3 other teams in the area. This year they have been studying the book of John and it has been great for our whole family. We are all learning lots. Out of the 4 tournaments so far this year, our team has won 3...they have worked hard! This month we are studying John 17-20....our next tournament is the first weekend in April.
Knitting, Sewing and Piano.....the girls are both involved in these two activities. We have a sweet neighbor that comes by once a week and teaches us knitting skills. My girls are in a 7 year home economics course and knitting is one of the subjects for the first year. They have made several wash cloths (practice projects) and are now working on scarves for themselves and potholders for gifts. Abby also takes sewing lessons (Hannah will start them next year) and she has already made a skirt and a pillowcase. They both take piano and are enjoying it more now that they are playing actual songs. They have already done a couple offertory numbers at church.
Awana.....Hannah just finished up a book and Peter should be finishing one in the next week or so. Abby started a new one earlier this year.
Art....Abby is taking art lessons and this is clearly her passion and love. I don't know where she gets the creativity and the talent....neither Wes nor I have a lick of artistic ability....a special gift from the Lord :)
Gymnastics....all the kids are involved in gymnastics but it's purely for physical activity and fun....no one is headed to the olympics!!

As far as "fun" stuff, it has been limited around here lately because of all the sickness we have had....but toward the end of the week they were able to get outside more. They have gone on lots of "adventures" around the camp and even got to go see some baby goats that were just born at a neighbor's house.
We also tried a new recipe this week. I try to get at least 1 in each week....I had plans for 2 new ones but Wes went out of town unexpectedly so I'll save the other one for next week. This week we made Maple Morning Muffins....they kids LOVED them! I did too....it will definitely be a 'repeat' for our house! And it made the house smell so yummy!!

I'm not sure if I feel encouraged or not about journaling our weekly accomplishments...it's alot to type, but I don't know if it's really a lot that got done. I may have to try this a couple more times. But all I know is we put many hours into home schooling and making life "educational" for my kids......surely we are accomplishing SOMETHING! ha!! :)

More pictures to come :)

2011-03-08T09:15:00.000-08:00

I just read my most recent post again (not the one to you Becky, the one before).....and I shared what a slow and not so good start I was having to the New Year. Well, I don't have too much more to share, except more of the same. We have still struggled with sickness (it seems never ending and I feel trapped in the house!), we've had car troubles, water leaks, broken sinks, etc.....and it's March! We are going on 3 months of this kind of stuff!
I know it's an old saying but for some reason it keeps coming to mind...."it could be worse"! So today, surrounded by coughing kids, sitting in a drafty house, knowing I'm behind in school, worried about paying off car repairs, and so on.....I can still say I am blessed and content. We are all together, we have a roof over our heads (no matter how many leaks it has), we have medicine to help with the illnesses, and enough wood to heat our little wood stove.....God is good. Sometimes we just have to look a little harder to see it :)

I am thankful for the time I've been 'forced' to spend at home......although I get a little cranky and grouchy and in need of some "alone" time, I am thankful for the time we have had as a family. We've watched movies, played games and just had some good heart to hearts. I know this time is fleeting and soon they will be out doing their own things, less interested in "family" time....so I'm going to enjoy it as long as I can!

BUT, it still would not hurt for you all to pray that we could be a HEALTHY family very soon! Then, this germ-a-phobic mom could once again relax!! :)

2011-03-06T18:40:00.000-08:00

Don't worry, Becky....I will be back here soon....my mind is full but my time is limited :)
But I am going to start doing a weekly wrap-up, so at least by the end of the week I hope to be here! ;)

A 'new' new start

2011-01-16T20:45:00.000-08:00

This year has not started off well for me.....

I usually look forward to a new year....a new slate....new goals and a new 'to do' list. This year didn't start off like that....

We just finished up a 7 week trip at the end of 2010...it left us "unpacked" and going into Christmas in a tornado-like fashion. Christmas game and went (along with the many ministry commitments), and then the Winter Retreat was upon us. Don't get me wrong....it was a wonderful retreat and I had a blast, but the late nights and the long talks left me somewhat weary. The new year came in right after that, and with it came sicknesses (me, Wes, and Hannah), car problems, broken water pipes, problems with the mission, and continued health problems.

As of today, not much of the above has changed (thankfully the water pipe issue is fixed!!), but I've decided to stop letting circumstances affect me in a negative way any longer. EVERY DAY is a new day, a clean slate....an opportunity to set new goals and to mark things off my list. "His mercies are new every morning..."

So tomorrow will be my "new" new year....the fresh start I missed 16 days ago.

I've made my menus, I've started my exercise program again, I've got my list organized and ready to tackle, school is under way, and the 'excitement' I lacked before is finally giving me that 'push' I need....

Here's to 2011....:)

2011-01-08T00:55:00.000-08:00

Sometimes i can get really discouraged in this ministry. I know I shouldn't....I should focus on the goodness of God and not on the circumstances or even the lack of 'fruit'....but sometimes it does hit me and I think, "why am I doing this?" It doesnt' happen often, but discouragement in the ministy does happen every now and then.
The past few days I have received some pretty discouraging news about some teens and families that I have worked with in the past. Seems it always comes in "waves". It's the classic 2 steps forward, one step (sometimes two steps) back. I think of the time and energy invested in those people and get bummed that it seems all a waste. Even though I know, deep down inside, it's not a waste....that we, as Christians are supposed to continue to do good.....my flesh feels the sadness and the frustration in it all.
Even tonight, as I sat at a local restaurant celebrating a friend's birthday, I found myself overcome with that discouragement. One friend shared news of a former camp staff that has strayed away from God.....at the same time, the 'birthday girl', someone I have counseled, studied the Word with, and spent hours listening to her, ordered her second round of drinks and made plans to go out dancing at a local club later. My heart was heavy the rest of the evening....the drive home was long.....my night is sleepless.

I am discouraged, yet, at the same time, I am not overcome.....I am saddened, but i am not defeated. I know that tomorrow I will still get up, head to town and to a basketball game (the birthday girl's daughter's game) and I will continue on in relationships....even the ones that are hard.....knowing that God is faithful and I am not to grow weary in doing good. I will continue to love, to teach, to encourage and to exhaust myself in the Lord's work....failure or success will not change who God is.....
BUT, Lord, if you see fit to bring along some encouragement and even a little bit of "fruit", I will be ever so thankful..... :)

Putting Feet to Our Prayers

2011-01-03T12:22:00.000-08:00

I would not say that my prayer life is the greatest.....out of all of my spiritual disciplines, that one is probably the weakest. I'm faithful to pray for friends and family when they need it, but as far as a "talking with the Lord" and really just conversing and opening up to Him, I don't do that as well.

But my friend Nanette, she is a prayer machine! She is actually amazing at most aspects of a spiritual life.....I love to spend time with her because she challenges me, encourages me, teaches me, listens to me.....when I walk away, I feel like I want to go and dive into the Word, read a book, write in my journal, etc. I've learned many different things from this dear friend....to write down everything would take weeks. Just our discussions on Romans alone would fill a book! But recently, I learned a very simple yet valuable lesson from her.....
We were at our weekly prayer meeting. Everyone was sharing requests....some heavy, some more practical. Bruce, our maintenance guy shared one in particular. He had lost his glasses while working one day....as a result, he could no longer drive and some of his normal day to day things. He didn't seem too distraught, but I knew he wanted to find them badly. They were very particular prescriptions so he really didn't want to go through the hassle of going to Phx (where his eye doctor was) and getting a new pair. So I wrote it down, we prayed for that and the many other requests from the morning, and then all went on our separate ways. Later that day, I was walking on camp and Nanette drove past me, asking if I had seen Bruce. I hadn't, but asked her if I could help. She said that she has been at the maintenance shop for the past hour or so, looking for his glasses....she had found a pair and wanted to know if they were his. She drove off, continuing her search for Bruce and I continued my walk home. But the whole time, I was struck by what she had done. All of us had heard his request, wrote it down in our prayer journals, then left......Nanette did all of that PLUS, decided to go down to the shop and actually LOOK for them. It seemed like such a simple thing, yet I was struck by the simple obedience and faith of it all. How often do I hear a request, or much less, MAKE a request and then just sit back and wait for it. Now I am a firm believer of "expecting" great things out of God, but how many times do I expect Him to do it all, while I just sit back, lazily, and wait.

Nanette showed me that God actually expects great things from us as well....that was kinda mind boggling to me at that moment....even though it is a simple truth. Nanette put feet to her prayers and instead of sitting around and waiting for the glasses to magically appear, she got up, put aside her scheduled tasks for the day and went looking for the lost glasses. She put her own agenda aside for the needs of others and she allowed God to use her, in a very humble way. Even when I tried to tell her this, she blew it off and said anyone of us would have done it. The thing is, we didn't.....she did. And in that small act, she taught me so much about our relationship with God, the Almighty.

And just to say, I found out later that the pair of glasses she found did not belong to Bruce....so she went back down there again and spent a big chunk of time looking, until she finally found them. :)

A New Year

2011-01-02T21:21:00.000-08:00

Usually I am beside myself with excitement for this time of year....I love a clean slate, list making, setting goals...all the things that come with a new year. But for some reason, this year, I am very low key about it. I'm thinking it's because over the past few years, I have been met with pretty significant failure in all my "goal setting" and the like. I have not had the usual success rate in this area since I've moved to the full time mission field. Not really sure why.....I do know that my plate is MUCH fuller than it has been in years past. I WANT to do things that will improve my life (lose weight, read more, spend more time with family), but when it comes down to it, basically all I can do is keep my head above water and just do the next thing. I'm tired.....

So this year I am hesitant to make my usual lists and goals....

Maybe I will get more motivated after a few days of rest....

I do have ideas....I do want to lose weight, exercise more, play more games with my kids, take time for friends, get more sleep, read more non-fiction, pray more, learn to play the guitar, etc.....Lord give me wisdom as I seek to do the things that glorify You....you have given me 'time', help me to use it in the best way!

WInter Retreat

2011-01-02T21:08:00.000-08:00

Well, we just finished up a 5 day winter retreat here.....what a great ministry (and an exhausting one!). We started on Monday and what is usually an hour long registration ended up being a 4 1/2 hour long one....we had more kids (double!) than we have ever had....180 teens showed up...wow! At first we started a waiting list (some kids even decided to go home because of the long wait) but then we just decided to take everyone and trust in the Lord to provide the room, the food and the staff.....and of course, He provided. It was very cramped but "cozy" seemed to work for us! It was a blast!

And along with the large number of campers and the crowded dining room, there also came more ministry opportunities. I can't begin to tell all the talks I had with campers, all the struggles I heard about, all the pain that they carry. But the Lord was good and through lack of sleep, my foggy brain, and my many responsibilities, I loved every minute of it....and the promises and the Word of God are so powerful and amazing.

Although the retreat is over (although it was extended a day due to a huge snow storm), our work is not. I will be in touch with several of the girls I spent time with....some will just be accountability, some more intense (dealing with physical abuse issues, parental problems, etc)....I am praying for a GREAT deal of wisdom over these next days, weeks and months. It seems like I am never allowed to forget the many, many needs out here among the native american people....but that's a good thing, I guess.....it keeps me from getting lazy or nonchalant in my responsibilities to share the love and power of Christ. I look forward to every opportunity!
(and I also look forward to catching up on sleep!!)

2010-12-03T05:20:00.000-08:00

Spent some time reading about Abraham this morning....I'm challenged and convicted as a result.

"Abraham believed God, and it was counted unto him for righteousness" (Romans 4:3b)

I've read that statement many times and always thought, 'wow, what an honor to be mentioned in the Bible because of your faithfulness'. The story of Abraham has always been one that teaches us of a great, faithful trust in God.....one that I just seem to read about, but never really grasp the concept that "I" can have that kind of faith....it almost seems 'fairy-tale' like at times: a man who spoke with God, who was chosen by Him, witnessed a miracle, was willing to sacrifice his son, etc.

But this morning I read about this 'faraway-like' faith and was challenged by it instead of just impressed by it.....

"(Abraham) Who against hope believed in hope, that he might become the father of many nations, according to that which was spoken, So shall thy seed be.
And being not weak in faith, he considered not his own body now dead, when he was about a hundred years old, neither at the deadness of Sarah's womb. He staggered not at the promise of God through unbelief, but was strong in faith, giving glory to God, and being fully persuaded that, what he had promised, he was able also to perform. And therefore it was imputed to him for righteousness." Romans 4:18-22

Abraham wasn't just born with this gift of amazing faith....there were many things he DID in this process of living by faith.....he believed, he was not weak, he considered, he staggered not (my favorite one!!), he was strong in faith, gave glory to God, and was fully persuaded.....that's quite the list! Living a life defined by faith is not easy....it required work. And it's also not JUST for the heroes of the Bible...it's available to us...today.....

"Now it was not written for his sake alone, that it was imputed to him, But for us also, to whom it shall be imputed, if we believe on him that raised up Jesus, our Lord, from the dead;
Who was delivered for our offenses, and was raised again for our justification." Romans 4:23-25

We have the opportunity to live a life defined by great faith.....it's not just a fairytale faith. It's real, it's required, and it's available.

I make a 'to do' list almost every day....I have to, to keep up with all that needs to be accomplished. Today, I still have a list to make....I need to do laundry, pack, finish up some Christmas gifts, exercise, etc....but today, I am also adding a few more things to it.....
...believe in the promises of God
...consider who HE is, not who I am
...stagger NOT at His promises
....but instead give glory to Him
....and live a life fully persuaded in the power and goodness of my God!!

2010-11-29T06:02:00.000-08:00

"For all have sinned and come short of the glory of God..."
Almost all of us have memorized this verse.
We use it at camp all the time......I've used it when I present the Gospel.....my kids memorize it at Awana......we all know it.
But like so many other verses, we pull it out of the chapter, memorize it, and seldom ever think about where it came from again. It is powerful enough to stand on it's own.....I've personally seen it open wide the eyes of a lost person as they finally realize all their efforts have been in vain....it's a life changing verse.....
But what about the 'good news' that comes after that verse? Few people seem to mention that....including me. But as I was reading through chapter 3 of Romans, taking in all that Paul was saying about faith and the law, about our position and our righteousness (or lack of..."there is none righteous, no not one!"), I came across the familiar verse, reminding me that we all fall short of His glory. I was reminded that "His glory" is what we should be aiming for....not praise from man, not rest from work, not the "right thing", not even our own satisfaction.....but our goal, our aim should be to glorify God!
But there is a comma after the phrase '...come short of the glory of God,'......that means there's more.....
"being justified freely by his grace through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus, whom God has set forth to be a propitiation through faith in his blood, to declare his righteousness for the remission of sins that are past, through the forbearance of God;"
That is good news....that's the hope. That we have been FREELY justified through Christ...the gift from God....so that we might declare His glory! (that's my "nutshell" version....there is SOOO much stuff in this verse...take the time to study it word by word...it's worth it!!!)
Our goal is to glorify God.....AIM for that daily....let all the other stuff fall away. If I could only truly grasp this and live it out in my life.....wow.....

THANKSGIVING

2010-11-27T23:47:00.000-08:00

We were blessed with several Thanksgiving gatherings this season....part of having a divided family. But it was good and I'm thankful for my diverse family....

Mom is always helping in the kitchen...even when it's not her kitchen!

We had more than enough food....a big spread and there were over 20 people around to eat it and no one left hungry!
Turkey, ham, sweet potato casserole, macaroni and cheese, broccoli salad, broccoli casserole, dressing and gravy, rolls, strawberry jello salad, rolls and more.

My plate was empty!!!!

I spent a lot of time outside (it was a very warm, 70 degree, November day!) making crafts with the kiddos.

We made "thankful" placemats.....we all wrote down, on colorful leaves, the things we thankful for....it was fun (and funny) to see what some of the kids wrote down......

I am thankful for my family and the little time I'm able to spend with them. We are separated my many, many miles, but that doesn't seem to hinder our "fellowship" when we do finally manage to meet under the same roof!!!

Because our times together are so far and few between, I cherish them all the more.

2010-11-27T23:11:00.001-08:00

We have been able to visit with many family and friends during this cross country trip........
me and my bestie........
our beautiful host family (and super dear friends), the Queens.....
...a crazy couple of days with the Hearns.....
....then down to Georgia,
my Dad and Grandmother Hyde........
....lots of fun cousins.......and of course, Mimi and Pop!!We are so blessed!

2010-11-27T21:47:00.000-08:00

6 weeks, almost 5000 miles, and 16 different states.....that's the title of my life right now. We are wrapping up a very long trip back east, visiting family, friends and supporters. It's been a good trip and we have shared many meals and late nights catching up with friends and family.
Mostly it's been encouraging....there have been a few that really want to hear about our ministry, our struggles, our victories, the people that we minister to, etc.....but mostly they just want to chit chat, catch up on family news. That's good, too.

I'm enjoying my time away, but at the same time, my heart longs to be back home knee deep in my ministry. That's a good sign, if I miss my work, right? I miss pouring over my Bible in preparation for a lesson....I miss hearing the neighbors chopping wood.....I miss the wind that always blows in from the west.....I miss the smell of the barn.....I miss the little neighbor boy pressing his face against my the glass on the front door, peeking in to see if Peter is home and can come out to play.....I miss my Ft Wingate girls.....I miss working in the lodge kitchen with Nanette and our long, deep spiritual discussions....I miss going for a run through the pine trees....I miss the amazing sunsets....I miss home.

But for now I will enjoy my time away, try and get some rest, focus on family, and prepare myself for the busy year that lays ahead of me.

2010-10-10T06:51:00.000-07:00

It's been non-stop for the past 3 days.....literally. This is the first time I've really sat down, with my cup of tea, and just relax.
Being busy has been good to keep me busy and moving, but I do love my times where I can just sit and rest.

I enjoy that we have a late service at our church....Sunday mornings are always relaxing and slow. Everyone sleeps in and then just roll out into the living room to watch cartoons. It's our only morning to do that. The wood stove would be a nice addition to this morning....it's cold!!

I haven't been to church in 3 weeks. (mixture of sickness and traveling)....it will be nice to get back and see my church family. And it will help to find that "normal" feeling I've been missing for a while now. It's been weeks since I've had a normal week of school, ministry, church, eating, etc. I really, really, hope this is the week where my productivity returns. I miss my routine and those feelings of accomplishment.

I can even start today....after our cartoons :)

2010-10-07T08:34:00.000-07:00

Well, it's been exactly 3 months since I have been here. I was just reading over the last few entries and I remembered why I stopped.......I hit the wall....physically and emotionally. I remember that time in the summer and all of a sudden I was just 'done'....exhausted. And I never seemed to bounce back. I went from tired, to exhausted, completely dead. I am just now starting to pick myself back up. It was a rough summer and it left me more tired than usual. I think the spiritual battle was more intense this summer....but in the end, the Lord was victorious and many, MANY children left here with the promise of eternal life.

The fall schedule started up right away, with little time to rest. We started school the very next Monday and our fall ministries started just a week or so after. The Lord has given us a bountiful ministry here, and the opportunities are endless....almost overwhelming at times. The work here will never be complete....there are always people in need, both physically and spiritually. Therefore, the need for me and the other missionaries here to be in top shape physically and spiritually is crucial. If I miss the opportunity to help someone gather their wood for the winter, I may have missed an even bigger opportunity to meet their spiritual need down the road. And obviously, if I'm not spiritually equipped to meet their spiritual need, the outcome is devastating.

I am currently failing in both areas.

I have had some health problems that have left me unable to do some of the things I need to. I am even supposed to be training for a half marathon but I am no where near ready. It's disappointing and sad.

I have also had some 'spiritual' problems that have left me in a place of discouragement and sadness....and as I look around at the people in my life that need encouragement and guidance, I find myself lacking and unable to help. Again, disappointing and sad....

But I know whom I have believed in, and He is able......

So I suppose there is hope....... :)

Week 5, Wednesday

2010-07-07T23:09:00.000-07:00

Wednesdays are late....it's Mission Impossible night. We stay up late and play a "catch me" game in the dark. I love it and hate it. I love it because I always go out with my camp bffs and we laugh til we cry....I hate it because I lose so much sleep on these nights. But in the end, it's all worth it. The campers LOVE it!

It's the little things like Mission Impossible that can break down the walls that these campers sometimes have. Just the simple act of "busting" them and then tying them up can close that gap. Funny, the things God can use to draw people closer together and eventually closer to Him.

Thank you Lord, for this ministry and all the different aspects of it....from the chapels, the family style meals, to the late night games. May our efforts bring forth a bountiful harvest....and may we give all the glory back to You.

Week 5, Tuesday

2010-07-06T19:51:00.000-07:00

Another Tuesday come and gone.....cabin pictures, activity classes, grilled hamburgers, water fight and snack shop....all were a success and the campers are enjoying themselves. There are a few that are homesick, but they are hanging in there. It was really hot today, but about an hour before the water fight it cooled down quite a bit....it was the COLDEST waterfight EVER! Being cold is one of the things I hate the most....ugh! But once it was over, I realized what a blessing it was, as I saw the smiles on the faces of all the kids....I was still cold, but my heart was warm :)

The rain clouds are moving in and the wind is picking up....praying for rain tonight....we need it. Looking forward to God "raining" down blessings on us this week. We are all weary and tired, but expectant....excited to see what God is going to do this week.

Week 5, Monday

2010-07-05T19:51:00.000-07:00

This has been our smallest camp so far....we barely have 100 campers....and then to top it off, the girls outnumber the boys 80 to 20. Where are all the boys this week?

Our work team is small too....we have 11 people from NJ here this week....but they seem willing and eager to work. They all seem to really want to get involved....that is my prayer, at least. It is often like pulling teeth to get people to get involved and step out of their comfort zone. Praying this week will show something different.

We are praying for a bountiful harvest despite the small numbers....it could be a blessing to our tired staff....fewer campers but more opportunities for one on one time with them. Praying that the Lord will bless us all with the smaller numbers and slightly lighter load.

Week 4, Saturday

2010-07-03T11:29:00.000-07:00

Just wanted to give a 'numbers' update on the summer so far.....

After 4 weeks of camp, we have had close to 45 kids accept Christ as their Savior....many more made decisions to take their walk with the Lord more seriously and seek Him daily. Please pray for these kids...many go back to very difficult situations. We've already had one mom call the camp angry and hostile because her daughter chose to accept Christ as her Savior....that young girl will most likely be shunned by her family because of her decision. That is not uncommon here. So please remember these children in prayer....that they will find Christian support and be able to stand firm in the face of persecution and difficulties.

We have 4 more weeks of camp.....looking forward to seeing what God is going to do the 2nd half of the summer!

Week 4, Friday

2010-07-02T13:05:00.000-07:00

It's been another good week of camp....good group of kids....many made decisions for Christ. The campfire was testimony to that...lots of kids stood and shared their desire to follow God more closely. Makes all the long days worth it.

We had 2 workteams this week...both from CA. They were a big help, filling in all the gaps.

Lori was one of the ladies on one of the workteams.....neat lady, hard worker, loves the campers, loves the Lord even more. I have really enjoyed getting to know her this week. There is something else about Lori that is neat....she's the sister of one of my dearest friends....a friend I miss lots. As soon as I saw Lori, I knew she was Becky's sister....they have the same stance, the same smile, the same laugh. Although there are many differences in these two siblings, there are still those similarities. When I see Lori, I can't help but think of Becky. It makes me miss her, makes me think about the sweet times of fellowship we have shared, makes me wish she were here too.

I wonder what I remind people of.....

One counselor here says I remind her of her mom (and btw, that's a compliment...she thinks her mom is the best!).....someone else says I remind them of their "crazy" aunt back east somewhere. I guess I'm ok with all that.....
But we are called to be examples of Christ....to live a life that resembles his....a holy life. Our life should remind others of Christ....His love, His mercy, His patience, His forgiveness.....people should see those characteristics of Christ in our life. We should resemble our Savior.

I'm convicted. I know I don't always (I dare say I SELDOM) remind others of Christ. My flesh is daily (hourly) getting in the way. Even though it's my 'profession' to resemble Christ, I daily fail.

Bur thankfully His mercies are new every morning, and although I messed up many times this week....with campers and with staff.....I am confident in His forgiveness and His promise to use us despite our many flaws.

Like I said, I have greatly enjoyed getting to know Lori this week....even tonight I had another great conversation with her. She has been a blessing and a sweet reminder of my far away friend, Becky. And funny, she told ME that I remind HER of Becky....

I'm ok with that.... :)

Week 4, Tuesday

2010-06-29T21:45:00.000-07:00

Well, week 4 has begun. We are back to jr campers (8 -12 yrs old) and the 'silliness' is back. I like jr camp.....they enjoy it when you dance, sing funny, tickle them, etc....they LOVE silly!

Today in chapel, the speaker taught his lesson in a 'silly' way. He was telling the story of Jonah and the whale. First he and his team sang a song they wrote about Jonah.....then he told the story, in a lively way. THEN, he wanted the campers to get an idea of what it would be like to be in the belly of a whale. So he brought in a HUGE black trash bag (it was taller than me)....he filled it with 'slime' (mixture of glue, borax, and other stuff), several cans of sardines, and topped it off with a few cans of tuna fish. It was DISGUSTING! And I have an easy gag reflex! And to make the whole thing even more disgusting, they added a camper to the bag and "shook" him around....and campers actually volunteered to do it!!!

So, needless to say, they emerged from the bag covered in nastiness and smelling awful. It was quite the picture. I think the kids got the idea and realized that the 3 day ride Jonah got in the belly of the big fish was not exactly pleasant.

But the one thing that really stuck out to me is the smell....it was pretty bad. And it made me think about what our sin must "smell" like to God. It's said that our sacrifice and obedience is a sweet fragrance to Him....our sin must be the opposite. That demonstration in chapel made it very real to me. As the smell permeated the chapel, the thought of the 'stench' of my disobedience and rebellion against God was convicting.....powerful picture.

My prayer throughout the day was that I would be a sweet fragrance to my Savior....even in the little things....like not getting upset when a kid spilled their drink on me.....giving up my bucket at the waterfight when a camper asked for it (I REALLY wanted to keep it and get some people wet!).....willingly being a mediator for a dispute when all I really wanted to do was go to bed....I pray through all of it the Lord was pleased and the fragrance of obedience and sacrifice was a sweet smell to Him.

The End of Week 3

2010-06-26T16:50:00.000-07:00

The week is finally over....this one seemed longer and more tiring. I am SOOOOO enjoying our lazy weekend....I got lots of sleep, got caught up on housework, and spent time away with the family. Looking forward to a night at home :)

From what I can tell, we had about 20 kids make decisions for Christ. I don't know how many were salvation decisions and how many were rededications, but I am thankful for the changes made because of the love of Christ.

One thing that was stressed in the chapels this week was about making a choice concerning God. The speakers spoke mostly to the kids that were 'straddling the fence', as he put it. He challenged them to make a choice....you are either for God or against God. I agree that we need to make a stand for our beliefs....it was a good challenge. But my opinion is that there really is no fence....we are either for God or against Him...no in between. When we choose NOT to follow Christ, we are making a stand against Him. There really is no 'neutral' in this area.

I saw many kids making choices this week. As our worship team played songs, I saw several teens in the back, snickering, making fun of the people on stage singing, laughing at the motions to the song....in my mind I saw a direct and blatant choice being made. They were making a stand against God. In the same room, on the other side, I saw a young girl who I've known all her life singing praises to the Lord, hand lifted high, eyes closed.....her choice was easy to see too. She loved her Lord, loved worshiping Him and was having an intimate moment with Him at that time.....her choice was for God.

I know lots of kids left this week without making a choice to follow God....they left knowing the consequences of their decision...knowing they are choosing death over life. That breaks my heart. Every week I have to watch kids leave, knowing I may never see them again....not knowing if they will one day turn their hearts to God and choose Him. That is hard. But like I said in an earlier blog, we have to be content with possibly just planting the seed....not knowing if there will be a harvest later. We all want to be the ones that bring in the harvest....to see the bountiful fruit of our labors. But it's not always the case....in fact, it's usually the exception.

This week I am feeling the discouragement of it all....seeing more kids leave 'rejecting' God than those that accepted Him. But the Lord is slowly bringing comfort and peace to my heart...reminding me that he is faithful and His Word is truth. That is where I am trying to rest this weekend.

This ministry is amazing and I wouldn't trade it for anything.....the privilege to be able to daily and openly give the Gospel and teach the Word is amazing. But it's not always easy....and it's often exhausting. I'm so thankful that I have a God that meets all my needs and fills in the 'gaps' for me. There is rest in Him!!!

Week 3, day 4

2010-06-24T21:37:00.000-07:00

I didn't get to blog yesterday....I was still sick, down with a stomach flu....went to bed early.

But it's been a good couple days despite my setback of illness. The teens here this week seemed to be really enjoying themselves. There have been a couple incidents with behavior issues, but overall, it's been a productive and fruitful week. The Lord is definitely working in lives here and it's so awesome to be a part of it all, to witness it firsthand.

After skits tonight, several kids stayed behind to talk to counselors and staff.....I sat in the back, praying, watching.....i could feel the heaviness of the issues that these kids carry....the room seemed heavy. But by the end, as the campers slowly left the chapel, I could feel the air grow lighter.....I knew many of them were walking out "new creatures". It was wonderful to see the change.

Even as I type this, everyone is at the campfire (I'm home because Wes wanted to go, so I'm home w/ the kids)....they are sharing about the changes that have occured in their lives this week....and although I'm not there to hear them share, I know the Lord is being honored by their words and their testimony.

Thank you Lord for the power of your Word, and how it changes lives.....
Amen

Week 3, day 2

2010-06-22T20:12:00.000-07:00

I'm sick today.

Up all night with some kind of stomach bug.

I'm too busy to be sick....

at least that's my opinion....

guess God has a different opinion.

Although I was still 'around' all day and was mostly involved, I was not really 'into' it. But, even from a somewhat outsider perspective, I can see the week is going well so far. We have a pretty good group of campers. There have been a couple of small incidents, but overall, they seem excited to be here and interested to learn the things of God.

I'm home tonight, missing chapel, free time and the concert scheduled for later tonight. I don't really see the point in it, but for some reason it's where God wants me....I won't fight it, I'll just submit to it and wait for it to pass. Guess I should be thankful for the slower pace, right? I'll keep reminding myself of that, even while I can hear the massive rock concert going on in the chapel....breathe in, breathe out.....

Tomorrow is a new day.

Week 3, day 1

2010-06-21T22:18:00.000-07:00

Well, it's the beginning of the third week of camp....120 campers! It's teen camp and that always brings a different dynamic....different set of issues. But I think we are ready, equipped to face the issues that will come up, ready to bring Christ to these kids.
Teen camp is also different in other ways.....more basketball and volleyball, later nights, more 'in depth' chapels.....so in some ways, teen week is more tiring than other weeks. I know for myself, I am going to have to seek the Lord's strength and endurance....I can already feel it and it's only the first day! But thankfully, we serve a God with an endless supply of all that we need.....it's a bottomless resource....we just need to come to Him, ready to receive...confident that He will meet those needs. I am there today....knowing that i am coming to the end of my strength, endurance, wisdom, even patience....

It's going to be a good week....I'm looking forward to all that God is going to do in the lives of these camper....and in MY life, too!!! :)

Week 2, day 5

2010-06-18T21:02:00.000-07:00

Week 2 is just a few hours from 'officially' being over.....by the end of breakfast tomorrow all the campers will be on their way home. Some of them will still "smell" of camp (those who chose NOT to take a shower all week)...some will still be singing worship songs,.....some will tell their parents about the cool "treasure hunt" we went on this week....some will show off the awards they won. Many are going home as new creatures, having accepted Christ as their Savior...praise the Lord! But my prayer is that ALL will be going home with something just as special....a deeper knowledge of God and a better understanding of His Word. I am realistic that not everyone will make a decision to accept Christ...that would be wonderful, but it doesn't usually happen. But hopefully those that did not chose to give their life to Christ, will at least go home with a better understanding of who He is and how much He loves them. We don't always get to see the "fruit" of our labor, sometimes we are just the beginning, the planting of the seed....sometimes we are just doing the watering.....and although the final product is not often seen in those steps, they are still very important. There is great patience needed in this ministry....that has taken me a while to learn. I want to see fruit right away....I used to be troubled when I would see kids leave here having NOT made a decision for Christ. But I have come to a place of peace with it...knowing that it is often a process....and I have learned to find joy in being a part of that process. The planting and the watering are just as important as being there for the harvest. What a privilege to have ANY part in presenting the Gospel!

Lord, help us not take for granted our part in Your work here....thank You for the many kids who did make the decision to give their life to You....thank You for allowing us to witness lives being changed...and thank You for allowing us the opportunity to plant seeds and water them....please don't tarry in bringing about the finished product....a life surrendered to You! Amen

Week 2, day 4

2010-06-17T22:40:00.000-07:00

"I've heard the name Jesus, but I didn't know who He was....I've never heard of any of the people in the Bible....and I have never been a church or a chapel."
That was the testimony of one of the campers tonight at the campfire....an 11 year old girl, who before this week knew nothing about the Bible, about the love of Christ and about the mercy of a Heavenly Father. She had never heard of sin, as described through the Word, and of course, had never heard of forgivness and redemption.

When I hear a testimony like that, it makes me even more grateful and appreciative of the ministry here at BABR. It's almost hard to believe that anyone living in this country could actually make it this long without really hearing anything more than the name of Jesus. But it is a very common occurance out here....and thankfully Broken Arrow Bible Ranch is able to be light in a dark world, to be salt, to be a city on a hill.

There were many testimonies tonight....so many kids standing and saying that for the first time, they finally understood the Gospel and what Christ did on the cross for them....they finally saw the depths of their sin and their need for a Savior. God is so good....and He is so faithful to give us such a wonderful staff....a staff that desires to see these campers give their life to the Lord...staff that are careful to study the Word so that they can better pass on the knowledge to the kids that come across their path.
I spent time in prayer with one of the staff today, and to hear her desire to clearly and effectively present the Gospel was such a blessing to me.

Thank you Lord, for such a wonderful group of believers....thank you for opening the eyes and hearts of the campers....thank you for the power of the Word....and most of all, thank you for the sacrifice you made so we could be here today with Good News to tell these campers.

Week 2, Day 3

2010-06-16T22:31:00.000-07:00

Another Wednesday has come and gone.

The highlight of the day (night) for the campers on this day is always Mission Impossible...they LOVE that game. And thankfully there were not many injuries (just one girl that fell into a cactus). The kids love the excitement of playing in the woods at night....they don't even mind being tied up....it's all about the staying up late and playing in the dark.

That's the campers highlight of the day....mine is what happened tonight after chapel, when about a dozen kids stayed behind after the message to talk with their counselors. I don't know what happened with each kid, if they accepted Christ or not, but I do know that no matter what, walls were broken down tonight and they stepped a little closer toward the open arms of a loving Savior. They had questions, concerns, hurts and needs.....and thankfully, our staff, through the Word of God, could help with those issues.

It has been a good week so far....not too many problems.....and there has been much "breaking through" with a lot of the campers. I sat in staff meeting and heard the counselors share the burdens of their cabins....and when I saw some of those campers stay behind tonight, it was such a moment of praise to my God.
Thank you Lord for your faithfulness to use your Word and these counselors and wranglers to meet the many needs of the campers here.....we look forward to seeing what the rest of the week holds for us!

Week 2, day 2

2010-06-15T21:05:00.000-07:00

Tuesdays are my busiest day....I won't go into the long list, but it's non-stop. My only 'sit' time is my drive to town to get the pictures developed. I have 25 minutes where I just drive....I go alone (on purpose) and I crank the music up.....just me and God, driving down the road. Although it's a quick, hectic trip, I do enjoy it. Just my few minutes to get away....no one calling my name, no one asking questions, no dancing and having to be silly....just the 'quiet' me. I don't see that 'me' very often in the summer.
Today's drive was exceptionally good....just what I needed. I put in my favorite cd and just sang (although I don't 'sing', it's more of a 'make a joyful NOISE to the Lord' kinda thing!). It was a good time with my Savior. Sometimes I feel like I spend so much time praying (praying for staff, praying for campers, praying WITH staff and campers) that I seldom get the time to just sing with my Savior....I almost feel like I am out of 'words' lately so it was nice to just not have to think of what to say next....just sing.
And tonight the music in chapel was good....although I wasn't alone in my van, it was still a sweet time of worship.....although I was surrounded by almost 200 other people, it still felt like just me and my Savior.
It was a good reminder to me that although I often feel like I NEED my alone time, that I NEED to get away...I really don't. God is faithful to give me exactly what I need.....if I need those sweet moments of fellowship with Him, I can have it anywhere....in my van, walking to the snack shop, stolen moments of prayer, and even in a crowded room of rowdy kids!
Thank you Lord for all that you give to me....for ALL my moments....and for reminding me of your promise to always draw me close.

Week 2, day 1

2010-06-14T20:19:00.000-07:00

Well, another week of camp has begun.....it's off to a good start. Every week is different.....different workteam, different campers, some different staff, different dynamics....but thankfully we have the same God. We have access to the same strength, the same wisdom, the same peace....consistency is good in this ministry that is ever changing in all other aspects. There is comfort in serving a 'constant' God.

We have just a few more campers this week than we had last week.....we ended up with about 121. I'm looking forward to another fruitful week of camp. We have spent the day playing carnival games, singing songs, watching skits, eating spaghetti, playing red light/green light, chasing campers through the woods, listening to great teaching and enjoying some free time together....all in attempts to get to know the campers better. So far so good :)

Please continue to pray for us this week....we have many, many opportunities ahead of us...pray we do not miss a single one!

2010-06-13T18:24:00.000-07:00

This is Afton (middle)....she has been coming here since she was 8 years old...she FINALLY was voted camper of the week. I will never forget her face when we announced her name....this very smile stayed plastered across her face the rest of the night.....she was beautiful!!!! :)

Uncondiitional love

2010-06-12T08:56:00.000-07:00

NOW, camp is officially over.....breakfast has been served, the campers are gone, the workteam just pulled away headed for home, and the camp is clean. There is a good feeling knowing that a particular task is completed. Although we have an 8 week "task" before us, week one is done and with great success....no real complaints, only words of thanksgiving to a faithful and loving God.
I witnessed something today that reminded me of that faithfulness and love. I was standing in the lodge looking out the window....watching all the parents reunite with their kids. I saw one camper in particular, one that had been very "energetic" (to put it nicely) all week, walking out of the lodge. He made his way through a group of workteam people and finally found his parents. The reunion was sweet.....I stood there watching as they sandwiched him in a big hug...then the Dad picked him up in a big embrace....the Mom took her turn wrapping her arms around him, running her fingers through his messy hair, holding his face to get a good look at him. I watched as he showed them the rocket he had made and what looked like him describing how it had launched and fell back to earth. They hugged more, never stopped smiling, then the Dad picked him up like a sack of potatoes and carried him off, laughing to the car. It really was a sweet moment to watch. And in that moment I was reminded of a greater love....the love of our heavenly Father.....a love that is unconditional and lasting. Although I was slightly glad to see this camper leave, these parents were even more excited to see him come home. They don't really care that he had been non-stop activity, worn his counselor out, talked constantly and had and endless supply of energy...all they cared about is that he was home, that they could wrap their arms around him, that they could shower him with love and attention. Their love is unconditional....they see their son as their most precious gift, their sweetest blessing. No matter how others saw him, they saw him through the eyes of faithful love.
I am SO glad my heavenly Father sees me through those eyes.....He doesn't see me as others often see me...flawed, cranky, selfish, etc. He sees me as His prized possession, His redeemed creation, His precious child.
Thank you Lord, for continually giving me glimpses of You through this ministry....thank you for your faithful and unconditional love.

Day 5....end of week one :)

2010-06-11T22:09:00.000-07:00

Well, the first week of camp is over (minus a breakfast in the am). Overall, it has been a great week....God is so faithful and good....He uses us in spite of ourselves. I'm amazed at how much work is accomplished through such broken vessels.....it's very humbling to be a part of it all.

It is so neat to see the sweet relationships that are made during a week's time. When the kids first attended chapel on Monday night, there was a slight hesitancy, a slowness to get involved....but tonight, standing in the back of the chapel and watching almost ALL the kids cram on stage for the rowdy songs and wrap arms around each other during the slower songs, I could see the depths of the fellowship they now shared. My prayer is that these kids have felt loved this week....that they have found a place where they feel safe....that they, as a result of being here, will desire the things of the Lord more. My prayer also is that the staff got a taste of truly serving the Lord, putting aside "self", and seeing the fruits of their labor. What a privilege to be a part of this ministry....to be able to teach the Word daily and to often see the results of that teaching. And to do it ALL while playing big ball volleyball, riding go-carts, eating sno-cones and making crafts......I love my job!
Thank you Lord for working out and showing me the plan for my life that led me to this place...I am truly blessed!

Day 4 of camp

2010-06-10T17:25:00.000-07:00

Well, it's after midnight and I can barely keep my eyes open, but I wanted to at least give you a little taste of my day....
actually, it was pretty rough....it seemed that everywhere I turned, someone was giving me an attitude or snapping at me.....I was getting pretty "done" with it, just trying to hang on til the end of the day so I could just sleep it off and begin again.
The day was almost over, we were all at the campfire and the testimonies had just begun. I always enjoy this time of the week, if I can move past the tiredness. About 4 campers in to testimony time, a little girl got up and gave a very brief, but convicting statement. She simply said, "I am so thankful for Broken Arrow Bible Ranch....the only time I hear about God is when I'm at VBS and here." As she made her way back to her seat, I was struck by the reality of her words.....for several of the campers that come here, we are the only "Jesus" they see....very possibly only 1 or 2 times a year do they get the opportunity to sit under spiritual teaching and study the Word. In some ways that puts a great deal of pressure on me, but on the other hand, it brings great joy at the privilege we have here, to share the Word, teach the Truth and just love on these kids. It really puts all the "petty" stuff in perspective and brings to the forefront the true meaning as to why we are here. I am humbled and blessed to be a part of it.
Thank you Lord, for working in my life to bring me here, to this work, among these people....help me to never take it for granted, but to daily appreciate the opportunities you have given me.

Day 3 of camp

2010-06-09T22:26:00.001-07:00

Still plowing through the first week. For many it is filled with "firsts"....first cabin clean up, first water fight, first night of Mission Impossible, etc....there seems to be lots of joy and anticipation in the "firsts". Makes for a fun week of camp :) If only that air of "firsts" could stay all summer....if only the enthusiasm could remain til the end. But unfortunately, the fatigue will set in, the tiredness will come, and everyones patience will wear thin....our faces will look more weary, our steps will be heavier and our smiles will be more forced....it's just the nature of this kind of job. The new will be replaced with the mundane. So, for now, I'm going to enjoy the excitement of the first week...praying it will last a little longer. I am thankful that even though we can easily grow weary of 'doing good', the Lord's faithfulness is new every morning! That should give us all reason to rejoice in our ministries. Please pray that I will seek the "newness" of God with each new day.....onward!!!

Day 2 of camp

2010-06-08T05:29:00.000-07:00

Well, there were only 85 kids signed up to come to camp this week, but we ended up with 115...praise the Lord! That's just more opportunities to share the Word and the love of God. There is an excitement in the air, both from the staff and the campers....everyone seems geared up for a great week of camp. Although the temperatures are at record highs, it hasn't seemed to damper the mood here....everyon is just pushing through the heat and making the best of it. Praise the Lord for new (and much bigger) swamp coolers in our chapel.....it has made a HUGE difference!
My little Hannah is among the campers this week....wow, my kids are growing up! She absolutely LOVES camp and would go every week if I let her.
We have a great workteam this week...very entergetic and lively....eager to work....that makes my job so much easier. They are from Tulsa, OK and several have been here before....again, makes my job easier :)
Although yesterday was the first day of camp, today is the first full schedule day and still a learning process for our staff....many will be lost and several will be tired already....pray as we work out the 'kinks'. Today is extremely busy for me as well....I have to squeeze a whirlwind trip to town in there sometime to get the pictures developed...it works if everything goes smoothly....one "obstacle" during that trip and things will get messy if I"m not back in time....praying for smooth sailing!! :)
Pray for us....pray for our staff, pray for the campers, pray for me.....it takes much work running a camp this size. But thankfully, God is the one that is ultimately in control!

Camp Begins

2010-06-07T06:00:00.000-07:00

I'm going to ignore the fact that this is the first time I've blogged in 6 months and just "start" again ;)
Today is an eventful day for me.....first of all, it's my anniversay.....13 years of marriage....wow, doesn't seem like it's been that long! Secondly, it's Peter and Hannah's birthday....it wasn't planned that way, but 4 years after we said "I do", we were saying "oh my!" as Peter and Hannah came into the world. My life has been a whirlwind ever since!
But the event that is taking up most of my time today is that it's the first day of camp. We have been preparing for this day for several weeks now. We've been making repairs and improvements all over the camp, we have made menus and ordered truckloads of food, we have recruited a great staff, spent the last week training them and preparing them for ministry.....and now the day has arrived!
In less than 5 hours this once 'quiet' camp will be over-run with more than 100 campers, all eager to have fun, ride horses, shoot rifles, eat lots of candy, ride go-carts and play lots of basketball.....but hopefully, they will also be eager to hear the Word of God, sing songs of praise and worship, and possibly make decisions that will change their lives. We are excited to see all that the Lord is going to do over the next 5 days....please be in prayer for the ministry here. It's the perfect setting for God to do an amazing work among these Native American youth.

I HOPE to keep an ongoing update here....I failed at that goal last year, but hopefully will do much better this time :)

2010-01-06T20:27:00.000-08:00

I am not at home right now.....I'm 'away', getting some much needed rest. It's been good and to be honest, I've been able to come close to REALLY relaxing (something I am not usually very good at)....I haven't really thought much about home and all that is waiting there for me as far as ministry, and that has really added to my 'rest'. It's been good.

But tonight I could think of nothing but home....in fact, I thought about it in a way that almost brought me to tears.

I was sitting in the middle of a youth group...one that I am somewhat familiar with....surrounded by people who I have even spent time in ministry with.....listening to great worship music.....sat under great teaching.....yet I found my mind wandering 950 miles away, to a much different place. It made me think of home....my tiny little reservation town. And what brought that place to mind was not very 'normal'. It was actually the youth group 'announcements'. They started out their youth meeting with a list of announcements....nothing fancy, pretty normal.....for here. But for the dusty little town that I live in, it was a far cry from normal. As the youth pastor announced Senior High meetings, lunches, Discipleship groups, etc, I was thinking about the 'youth' ministries I am involved in. There are no announcements there....because there are no meetings, discipleship groups, or even lunches.....there is nothing but our tiny little group that meets once a week.

Then I started looking around. All the kids wore warm clothes......most had nice Bibles with cute little notebooks.....many were carrying Starbucks cups full of nice, warm, coffee flavored liquids.....all were laughing and enjoying each other. I looked at the many, MANY leaders in the group....it seemed like there was one leader for every couple of youth! Back home, there are many nights where the kids come with no coats, even though the temp is way below freezing....none of them bring Bibles.....there are no Starbuck cups, in fact, many have not eaten since their school lunch, which is why we serve them some type of dinner......there is some laughter, but most of it is a cover up for the struggles and hurts they just left at their house....and we are definitely short staffed....not near enough hands to do the work, much less spend the one on one time with the kids.

Even the music and teaching was different....it was great and I loved it.....but it still reminded me of what we "don't" have back home. Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining about what we don't have....and I'm definitely not bitter about those who have more. But it did burden my heart for the people in the southwest, and the obstacles they have to overcome to even get to a place of being able to worship. Sometimes it's the cold, sometimes it's hunger, sometimes it's the lack of the Word, sometimes it's even the lack of good teaching. And as the youth pastor spoke on 1 Peter 1:10-16, another thing they 'lacked' came to mind.

Hope.

As he spoke of putting our hope into the things that are to come, I personally felt encouraged for my own spiritual walk, but it wasn't long that a weariness set in.....it was the weariness of trying to preach 'hope' to a people that have very little hope.....both in this world or the world to come. I have found it very difficult to teach about the hope that is to come, when they can't even grasp the concept of hope at all. Many have nothing to look forward.....it becomes quite the task to tell them and bring them to a place of rest in an eternal hope. Every home represented at our youth meeting (minus the few staff kids that come) are in some kind of turmoil.....whether it's some kind of abuse, or it's loss of a job, or alcoholism with one or both parents, or a severe medical problem....all of our families are in crisis of some kind. So as I sat there under this great teaching, and even though I was able to grow and find encouragement for my own heart, I suddenly became very weary again.....almost forgetting I was on 'vacation'. My heart was heavy for the people I had left back home.....and it still is now. My head hurts from the strain of holding back the tears.

Yet I'm reminded of a verse....."do not grow weary in doing good".....a command, yet a comfort at the same time. I know those words can mean different things to different people, but within those words I hear, "don't allow yourself to be so heavy hearted that you can't continue in the work I have laid before you"....."don't allow ANYTHING to cause you to lose sight of the vision I have for my people"......"don't take on all the hardships yourself....give them to Me.....I can handle them......not only handle them, but I can turn mourning into dancing, weeping into joy".

I don't know if I'll ever stop feeling the burden of the people I serve and minister to, and I may never be able to think about their struggles without tearing up.....but I know that I can, and must, continue to 'do good' among them. And I must do it with confidence that my Lord walks beside me all the way....always willing and desiring to share the load with me. I look forward to many more years of "not growing weary in doing good" in my little dusty, reservation town :)

2010-01-05T05:32:00.000-08:00

Well, I've given it some thought, and I think I have come up with my goals for this year. Like I said earlier, I feel completely overwhelmed with my family, my ministry, my commitments and my life in general....I don't feel like this year I can "add" things to it....things I would like to accomplish.....such as, learn how to play the guitar, read lots of books, pursue my photography, get my master's degree, lose lots of weight, etc. Those are things I would love to put time and effort into, but I don't feel this is the time for me.....and that is hard, because I LOVE the new year, making lists and setting new goals. But the Lord just doesn't have me in a place where I can do that right now. And I've learned to be ok with it....mostly.
But what I have decided to do is work on some things that I am already doing.....improving what I am already busy with. I dont' feel like that will take as much time from my busy schedule and yet I can still be working towards 'something'. We'll see how that works.....

For starters, I am not going to be able to spend as much time on my weight, but I do want to continue to improve my eating habits and live a healthy life. I get so discouraged if I don't meet my 'goals' in this area, that I am not setting specific ones, but just seeking to please the Lord with my choices. And to regulate my pain that so often hinders me. I find that the more I exercise, the better I feel. And although I don't always have the time to spend in that area, I need to make it a little more of a priority....I need to feel better so I can make this year more productive and effective.

Next, I want to improve my prayer life.....I want to be sincere when I say "I will pray for you". I used to be so faithful in keeping a prayer journal, but now I only do it when I go to prayer meetings or hear the requests at church...but I want to be faithful in the little things too, outside of the formal settings. And I want to pray for my kids more too....not just the day to day stuff, but for their future. Sometimes it overwhelms me to think too far ahead, but I need to do it more often and more diligently.

And along the same lines, I want to be more committed to doing my quiet times....so I have made one specific goal there....I will not miss a day in 2010. I struggled whether to make that goal or not...just not sure if I could accomplish it....but after much prayer and some insight from a friend, decided to do it, commit to it whole-heartedly. I am looking forward to it already.

Next, there are several relationships I need to work on this year. It seems like my whole life and ministry center around relationships....and it's not a big secret that I am not very good at them (why the Lord put me in full-time ministry still amazes me sometimes). But since I am already chin deep in them, I might as well make them as profitable (for everyone involved) as possible. There are a few relationships in my family that need attention, as well as those I minister to often. Then there are the friends that I so often overlook. So this year I am just seeking to improve what I already have and as far as the new ones that emerge this year, I want to start them off right, with less hesitation. That one make take more than a year to accomplish, but I might as well start now.

And speaking of my ministry, that needs a little polishing up as well. I do tend to get overwhelmed in at times....if not for the sheer size of it, but the heaviness of it. There is much pain and struggle where I work....every family that I am involved with has some kind of struggle in it....and not what is normal to many of us.....it's deep, harsh, dangerous, and heavy. There is the threat of homelessness and starvation with some....there is much, much abuse out here.....infidelity is huge, along with alcoholism and drugs......there is the native religion that pulls at them and along with that the huge walls that we have to break through to reach them with the Gospel. Hopefully, with the improvement in my prayer life and time with the Lord, this area will improve as well. I need to daily remember that He will not give me more than I can handle...and with every trial He will give me the strength that I need and the wisdom I need to give to others.

So there it is...my list for the year....it's not near as fun or dynamic as years past, but it is where I am these days....and I am confident that this is where the Lord has me and that these are the goals He has set before me for the upcoming year.
I am praying (already working on goal number 2!) that the Lord will honor my efforts and my desires to make these improvements. We shall see.........

A New Year

2009-12-31T07:11:00.000-08:00

Well, a new year is upon us.....I love "new" anything. I love the thought of a clean slate, a fresh start....and a new year is usually my favorite "new" of all. I usually spend a week or so, making lists, goals, plans for accomplishing much in the upcoming year.....I love it. But this year feels different. It has been such a busy year that I feel more like I am in 'survival mode'....making goals and actually accomplishing them seem right out of my reach. It doesn't seem as exciting or as motivating this year.....I'm beginning the year tired and weary. The discouragement of 'failing' in reaching those goals is not something I really want to deal with right now.
But, a fellow blogger reminded me that "if you aim for nothing, you'll hit it every time".....so, I decided I better at least aim for something, even if it's smaller than years past. Maybe my first goal should be to not over extend myself and loosen up my schedule :)

So maybe I will spend a little time thinking about 2010 and what could possibly be accomplished in it. And if I've learned anything from 2009, it's that although I may not have crossed off much from my "list", the Lord still accomplished much.....souls were saved, mourning was turned to joy, lives were changed for the better.....guess it wasn't as unproductive as I thought.

2009-12-30T19:37:00.000-08:00

Winter Retreat was a huge success....there were about 120 teens that showed up....it was pretty packed! We had a great time of sledding, skeet shooting, basketball (on ice), big ball volley ball, campfire and singing, roasting marshmallows, hay rides, mission impossible, games, worship, preaching, teaching and lots of late night 'fireside chats'.
I love this retreat....I love the "coziness" of it. The snowy landscape gives it that feeling. Everyone is content to just sit around in front of the fire, playing games, chatting and of course, laughing. I get to know the teens in this setting better than in the summer time. During the summer, the schedule is tighter and the exhaustion level is higher. This retreat is more relaxed and low key. Lots of opportunities to just get to know each other....I like it.

And although we had lots of time to chat and laugh, there was also plenty of time to listen to the teaching of the Word, discussion time on difficult issues, and great worship and praise through music. What a privilege to be an active part of such a ministry....to have front row seats to God working in the lives of young people....to have the opportunity to open the Scriptures and show them what God desires to give them, and what He wants from us in return.....to spend time on my knees in prayer with these hurting teens.....to try and answer the tough questions......to hear the testimonies of lives changed as a result of these few days that we've been tucked away in our snowy camp. There is nothing more rewarding and there is no better remedy to the weariness of ministry than to visibly see God intervene in the lives of hurting people and make Himself real to them.

I have spent most of today at home....most of the kids are gone (with the exception of a few kids who couldn't get home because of weather) and the camp is quiet again. I am tired, but content. We are snowed in....a fitting end to the "week". Thank you Lord for the opportunity to serve You.

WINTER RETREAT IS HERE

2009-12-27T14:16:00.000-08:00

Ahhh, the long awaited Winter Retreat is here.....a few days of sledding, football, tournaments, skeet shooting, workshops, worship, and teaching.....all within the backdrop of fresh fallen snow (to come by tomorrow afternoon). I love this retreat, although I usually come into it somewhat tired. This year I actually had a few days of rest beforehand, but I am still tired....yet ready to minister. Most of the kids that come are already Christians and this is more of a time for them to grow, draw closer to God, refuel....I love being a part of that.

If you think about it, please pray for those that are coming to the retreat this week. Pray for all of us who have been given the opportunity to minister to these precious young people. Pray for safety (lots of silliness during sledding!) and a great time of fellowship.

When the retreat is over, I am looking forward to a time of rest and refueling myself. I'm heading out of town (the only real way to get away from it all) and am looking forward to going to bed early, sleeping late, and maybe even a nap (can you tell I'm tired!??)

2009-12-18T06:26:00.000-08:00

This is my 2nd Christmas here in New Mexico....praise the Lord! I love it!
But Christmases are very different out here than back home in WV. Out here there is ALWAYS snow on the ground at Christmas.....which makes for an amazing backdrop for Christmas morning. And it's much quieter out here....no one really drops in on Christmas day so we are able to enjoy at least one day out of the year with just our family.
But one difference that sticks out this time of year is the poverty and need among the people of this area. I see it all year long, but it seems to really show itself at Christmas. In every one of my ministries, we do a distribution of some kind.....we hand out goody bags at Ft Wingate to the young girls, we hand out food baskets to the families of our Monday night Bible study.....this weekend we are going out to the reservation to help a church to do a community wide distribution. We attended it last year and it was somewhat of an eye opener to what the people have (or don't have) out there. I knew we would be helping hand out toys to kids and supplies to adults. But as I bagged up toys and handed them to the children, I almost felt bad.....the toys we were handing out were definitely used....many were broken and just pieces of toys.....it was hard to hand those to the kids. But they really didn't seem to mind and were thankful for all of it. Little girls smiled when they pulled a baby doll out of their bag, even though it had marker all over it's face and matted hair....and boys didn't seem to mind that their figurines didn't have both arms or if the cars didn't have all their wheels. Grandmas were so thankful for the pound of ground beef they received and the sack of potatoes. No one seem to complain......
It opened my eyes even more to the reality of this area, and of course it made me thankful for what we have as a family. Although we are sometimes in need, and I spend plenty of time each week standing in line at the food pantry for free food, I know we are blessed materially in many ways.

My kids have to 'purge' their rooms about once every other month or so.....weeding through toys and taking out the stuff they don't play with anymore....this year, we made sure we took the toys that were still in really good condition and had all the pieces and put them in totes.....now we are slowly putting them in bags (some for girls, some for boys) and we will take them to the church this weekend. My kids will be an active part of handing out the bags, and hopefully they will see their 'giving' have an effect on other children.

Although seeing the need is sometimes hard on me, I am so thankful for this opportunity to work among Native Americans. And although the need seems greater at Christmas, the need for a Savior is there all year long.
Please pray for us as we continue our ministry out here......the Lord IS doing a work here and we are blessed to be a part of it.

2009-11-08T21:36:00.000-08:00

Recently my girls and I flew home (GA) to visit family. It was their first time flying and it was my first time flying with someone in a long time....usually I fly alone. So when the stewardess did the 'safety' demonstration, it set differently with me. Usually my eyes kinda glaze over and I don't really listen...I've heard it so many times. But this time, I thought about it differently...it wasnt' just 'me' this time.

When she got to the part about the oxygen mask, something struck me differently there as well. I know most of you have flown and heard it many times....she said, "put your own mask on first, before helping someone with theirs". I know I have heard that before, but when I'm sitting there next to my little girls, it became a little more real to me as I briefly imagined really having to do that. If I were really in a crisis like that, would I be able to stop and put mine on first? I know my "mother" instinct would kick in and I would want to make sure they had theirs on....it's the natural way. But in reality, it would probably lead to failure. I would truly need to take care of myself first before I could attend to them.

Now, I'm not saying I am this selfless, righteous person....no way! On a daily basis I am selfish, even with my own family....which is a shame to admit. But when it came to life or death, I think I would be able to, without a second thought, sacrifice for them.
Then why don't I do it as a first thought in the home? Why do I daily put my own needs above the needs of others? Just tonight my son asked if I would come tuck him in...my response, although said lovingly, was, "not tonight, Mommy has a headache". Now it wasn't a life or death situation, but it was something that was still important to him....just not important enough to me. I can be a pretty pathetic parent sometimes!

But aside from that conviction, I realized something else on the plane that day.....about my ministries....that is contrary to what I want to do. I need to make sure that I am "ok" spiritually before I can get out there and help others in that area. And again, not to say that I am a selfless person....I'm not! But when it comes to ministry opportunities, I tend to just jump in and do it, regardless of where I am that day spiritually. I often jump in and try to deal with it in my own strength instead of seeking His.....and that only leads to spiritual and physical fatigue....which is where I am today.
I am extremely proud (another one of my charming characteristics!) and I hate to even write that here (glad I have a small following on this blog!)...but spiritually and physically exhausted is where I am right now. And I've decided I dont' like it! I'm wasting so much energy daily trying to get myself going and motivated and in a forward motion, that I think I am failing others because of it. I have a feeling that is why several areas of my life are starting to show the stress and strain that comes as a result of that fatigue.
Although in many ways things seem to be thriving (my Bible studies, my one-on-one times with ladies, my own expansion of knowledge of the Word, etc)....I feel myself slowly sinking. I have GOT to put my own oxygen mask on first before I can truly deal with the needs of others. How wise that little stewardess is!

So I am going to take some time for myself. And although I can't physically leave here and go be by myself somewhere and deal with it, I am going to try and take some 'small' breaks and get some things dealt with. I think then, I will be better equipped to help others with their masks.

2009-09-18T07:55:00.000-07:00

Lots to be thankful for and lots of things have made me smile.....

....a relaxing day at the horses
.....meeting new people
.....the view from the TOP of the barn
....a good ministry at Ft Wingate
....hearing the rain on the roof
.....good songs on the radio
.....tucking my kids into bed
.....the way they smell after a bath
.....getting a package in the mail
.....the feeling of brand new socks on my feet
.....pancakes and bacon for breakfast
......a helpful husband
.....good discussion on the Bible
.....many quiet moments lately
.....catching lizards and toads with my kids
.....helping build "homes" for the lizards and toads
.....chatting with the bff
....wearing a warm hoodie
.....feeding my horses
.....a nice long run
.....studying the Word....1 Peter, Jude, Revelation, Psalms
....the opportunity to pray
.....future plans

2009-09-17T08:23:00.000-07:00

The word I have been focusing on the past couple of weeks is "productive". I have really been striving to be productive each day....get things done, mark things off my 'to do' list. It has become my goal each day. But yesterday was different. I pretty much wasted my day yesterday.....or so I thought.
I woke up (again) with a backache. I could hardly roll out of bed. So, my sweet husband said he would do my "duties" for the day (take the girls to piano lessons, take the kids to the library for their homeschool class, and run errands). I was to stay home and rest. I was in so much pain, I just agreed to it. But after being home for about an hour by myself, I realized that I was not very good at just sitting and resting. I watched a little tv, read, even played on the computer (yes, Vicki, you busted me playing pathwords!)....but eventually, I grew restless. Even though I had plenty I could do at home, I decided to go outside. I took a nice long walk (I was heavily medicated with ipubrofen!) and ended up at the horses. My neighbors (the director and his wife) were out there saddling up the horses. They had some friends coming out (one of them did not know the Lord) to go horseback riding. I helped (but did not lift a saddle....only fetched and groomed the horses) for a while, then did some mild cleaning while they went out for their ride......what a peaceful hour....just me, and the horses, and a the dogs. I can't believe how much thinking I got done with just a few minutes of peace and quiet! It was amazing! I was able to just talk to the Lord and then actually LISTEN and HEAR what He had to say. There were no distractions to cloud out His voice. I feel a little more directed now. So, in that way, it was a very productive day.
I ended up staying at the barn for a couple more hours after that...helping put the horses away, talking to my neighbors and their friends, building relationships, laughing lots. It was a good day. A very productive day. :)

Fall Ministries, up and running

2009-09-15T23:07:00.000-07:00

Well, after a couple weeks of 'downtime', we are back in full swing. Fall ministries are up and running again....Bible studies, AWANA, Zuni youth group, Ft Wingate, etc. I love this time of year! I love the summer, too, with the hectic schedule of camp....but I also love the fall 'busyness' too. It's so good to see all the sweet girls at Ft Wingate (176 to be exact!).....it's good to see my kids re-unite with their AWANA friends.....I love hearing my husband tell stories of his Zuni kids (2 accepted Christ last week!).....and I love, love, love to dive back into studying the Scriptures. I know I have probably over-extended myself with how many Bible studies I am teaching/attending, but I just love it. I love to learn! And I especially love to learn about my God and Savior! But I was reminded of something tonight....that although I learn so much through actually studying, word for word, the Bible....I learn just as much, if not more by walking daily with Christ. I can read the promises of God over and over again....but when I experience them, they become more real to me than ever. I can study all the different types of 'love' described in the Bible, but it's only when I feel His love firsthand that I really start to wrap my mind around it. I learn more about forgiveness when I have to extend it....I learn more about comfort when I am the one being comforted.....I understand my Creator when I stop and really take appreciate creation.
Like I said, I love to study and learn about God.....but more than that, I love my daily walk and journey with my God.

Lord, thank you for never leaving or forsaking me.....for your mercies that are new every morning....for your patience and forebearance....for allowing me to see glimpses of You in the midst of both pain and joy. Help me never take these things for granted.

A good, slightly productive week so far

2009-09-02T07:12:00.000-07:00

Well, I managed to get some stuff done this weekend....even though I told myself I wasn't going to do anything! I just couldn't help myself!
But now we are back to "normal"....hubby is back from his trip, we are doing school full force now, piano lessons have started, library time is on the schedule again, the MANY Bible studies will begin in the next week or so, AWANA is on the horizon, Ft Wingate starts tonight, and on and on the list goes. The time of productivity is upon me again....no more "taking days off" or catching up on rest. It's fall and that means busy!!

But I wanted to take the time to still find things that make me smile......
.....a fun game time with the family last night
.....tucking my kids into bed
.....waking them up in the morning (they are all cuddly and warm)
.....a few minutes of quiet this morning
.....listening to the twins singing while they do their chores
.....my hubby making pancakes this morning
.....the taste of sweet grapes
.....a shower with good water pressure (finally!!)
.....a song in my heart

Thankful list

2009-08-29T08:11:00.000-07:00

Last year I started a "1000 things to be thankful for" list. I think I made it into the 700's....and then I kinda lost track (story of my life....I'm good at starting, terrible at finishing!). Really, I haven't blogged anything in quite some time. The summers are so busy for me and I am just now getting to the point where I feel rested and ready to get back into "life" again.
So, I thought I would start blogging again AND do a 'thankful' list....but with less pressure and no commitment to reach a certain number. I am going to write down the things I am thankful for, along with just things that make me smile.....it's good for me to put them on "pen and paper", and I've enjoyed going back and reading my past lists....does a heart good!

....a quiet walk this morning
...Hezzie, the neighbor's dog that faithfully follows me to the horses every morning
...the smell of hay
....the way my horse looks clean and white in the sunlight (from a distance!)
...crunching pinecones
....a quick chat with a neighbor, and the promise of a racquetball game soon
...seeing new growth on my bushes
...the 2 roly poly puppies from next door that kept me company while I watered plants
....prayer time in my backyard
....the "ultimate bagel", that reminds me of my sweet California friend
....Saturday morning cartoons
....an unexpected trip to the Zuni reservation to watch a parade
...a Savior who gives me these things, even when I don't deserve them

MORE..
....visiting with one of our dearest Navajo families
....an afternoon nap
....watching my husband's excitement about going to a Bears game with a friend
....quietly being productive
....seeing a sweet Navajo friend...haven't seen her since camp....plans to study the Bible together this fall
....standing in a light, misty rain
....a quiet house (for the moment)
....scrabble (welcome, Vicki!)
....freshly washed bathroom rugs (I like clean things!)
...having no plans ;)

Over half way through....

2009-07-16T10:41:00.000-07:00

Well, so much for keeping this blog updated! I have many things I have wanted to write here, but both lack of time and energy have kept me away. Things will happen and I will think, 'I should blog that!"...but then I come home and the thoughts get scrambled and my focus moves to "get sleep!". But today I decided to no longer let the lack of sleep rule me...ha! And it's funny, because yesterday, I hit the wall.....where I physically felt like I couldn't take another step or speak another word. I even came home and slept during dinner and the evening game.....I was exhausted! And although today I am up and about, I really am just going through the motions....not really feeling much today. So, it's funny that I'm choosing to blog NOW! And although I have "deeper" stuff I would like to share here, today will be simple......

Earlier today, I had just dismissed the campers to their morning activity classes (which is usually described as controlled chaos). It had already been a long morning.....not much sleep, a situation at breakfast that almost caused me to lose my cool, complaining staff, a disappointing 'spouse' moment, and far away family issues that kept me on the verge of tears.....I was ready for a nap by 9:30!! So, as the campers disappeared to head out to their classes, there was one lone little boy left standing in the A-frame.....sweet little Caleb Butler....the youngest son of my dear friends Dino and Nanette. He is all of 3 years old and not even as high as my waist......and oh, so very cute! His parents had been looking for him but he was hidden among the the 170+ campers, and it was only after the left the A-frame, that he was even visible. Dino was, of course, glad to have found him, but was in the dilemma of how to get him home to the babysitter.....he needed to get to a meeting and Nanette was already in a meeting of her own. So, in part to avoid having to deal with people, I volunteered to walk him home.
My job requires that I am constantly on the move....I am always walking quickly, or even running, from one place to the other......mostly because I am often called to be in two places at once. I rush from place to place, often getting delayed because people need something or have an issue that needs to be dealt with. I barely start a thought in my head before it's interrupted (and lost!). My world is always loud........ campers are always yelling my name, often kids are mooching piggy back rides off me......I often have a microphone in my hand, and even my keyboard playing in the worship band is loud. So I guess that is why this particular walk across the camp stuck out to me. It was strikingly quiet. It was just me and Caleb. Me and this tiny little chatter box, who didn't even come up to my waist. It has been a LONG time since I had walked that slow.....a long time that I didn't have to "fix" something.....a long time since I talked about something as 'unimportant' as the sticks we were each carrying and the legos waiting for him at home. That was the depth of our conversation, but it was by far the most precious chat I have had in a long time. It took almost 15 minutes to walk a few hundred yards to his tiny house.....but I needed that 15 minutes more than anything else today. I needed to slow down, focus on the simple things, and just enjoy the walk.
As I dropped him off at his house where the babysitter was anxiously waiting for him, I was quickly forgotten as he settled down on the floor with his brother and became engrossed in a cartoon on tv. But as for me, I will not forget our sweet few minutes together.....it will remind me to slow down, don't hurry past all that God is doing around me....the summer goes by so quickly, although at times it seems like it will never end.
So, thank you Caleb, for allowing me to walk you home......and thank you Lord, for walking with us, too.

CAMP HAS BEGUN!

2009-06-10T05:44:00.000-07:00

Well, it's official.....camp has finally begun! We have started out the summer with a good sized week....123 campers! But praise the Lord, even better than that: enough staff to open all the cabins! Although we had a record number at orientation this year, we were lacking in guy staff....not enough counselors. Wes, Steve (our camp director) and even our sound guy (David) were going to have to step in and be counselors for the week.....but the Lord had other plans and sent 4 AWESOME guys( that have served here in the past) right at the last minute...literally! We called them (on Sunday afternoon, the day before camp) just to see if they thought they could do it, and sure enough, they got their stuff together, jumped into the car and drove all night to get here. That was a HUGE answer to prayer!

So, with a full staff and a nearly full camp, this place is busy and alive. The go-carts are running, the horses are back on the trial, and gun shots can be heard from the rifle range. I love the sounds of camp! There are lots of smiles on the faces of campers and that is always a good sign!

And it's always interesting to see how the new staff really react to the campers finally getting here....some surprise you...where they were a little quiet and reserved during orientation week, they step out of their shell and turn into the "fun" counselor. Then there are some that surprise you in a different way.....they end up not having the work ethic you thought they would, or you see them already distracted from the task at hand. We need MUCH prayer for our staff....they have an exhausting and stressful job....one that requires the strength, wisdom and endurance of the Lord on a day to day basis.....really, on a moment to moment basis. But I am confident that the Lord will bring about His individual will for each staff member here.....some will learn hard lessons about themselves and about God....others will flourish and grow leaps and bounds. This camp is just as much a ministry to the staff as it is to the campers. (I end up learning a few things myself!!)

Overall, it's been a great start....a few bumps in the road but nothing that (so far) has hindered the Gospel being preached, heard and received!
Please continue to pray for us out here!!!
The theme for the week: "God is good, all the time.....All the time, God is good!" GREAT reminder!!!!

A day of celebration!

2009-06-07T06:32:00.000-07:00

Well, 12 years ago today, I was running around all flustered and nervous, about to walk down the aisle to marry my college sweetheart! Although some of it is a vague memory, there are parts that stand out clearly....

....deciding to dye my hair a "slightly red" the night before
....how it was raining that morning and we even picked up a woman hitch hiking on our way to the church
....getting my dress on and then immediately having to pee
....ALL of my bridesmaids helping me pee!!
....5 minutes before walking down the aisle, my "girls" and I sang (in pretty amazing harmony) "Going To The Chapel"
....my dad walking me down the aisle
....how nervous Wesley was
....my father in law giving the Gospel message very plainly and bluntly
....walking out of the church "married"!
....the great reception
....a punch fountain (that was fun!)
....being surrounded by great friends
....driving away in our little red (very decorated) car....twice! (one for the photo, one for real!)
....turning on the air conditioner in the car and TONS of rice blowing out! (for months after that too!)

It was an amazing day....and 'most' of the days afterwards have been great. Ha! We have had some tough times, but we have also had many more wonderful times, lots of laughs, and sweet memories. I am so blessed to have such an awesome family....and it all started 12 years ago, in a church down in south Georgia. Looking forward to 12 more...at least!!

2009-06-06T12:34:00.000-07:00

Well, we are home from our camping trip and I'm tired....it was one of those trips where you are just as tired when you get home as you were when you left! And, to top it off, my hubby is sick (flu-like symptoms). But it was still a profitable trip....I could tell the staff really bonded and enjoyed themselves. I wish I could have 'bonded' more, but with my responsibilities and my 'needy' kids, there was only so much I could do. And I wish I could blame it all on my job and my kids, but there is a part of me that struggles with 'bonding'.....but i did what I could and hopefully it's a start.

So camp starts in less than 48 hours....the 'to do' list is still long but we will just get done what we can, and then focus on the task at hand.....give the Gospel and show them the love of Christ! I enjoy that WAY more than all the projects! I am motivated and ready to begin.....it's something that I spend so much time praying for and preparing for, that I'm really anxious for it to actually start. I know the rewards will be great....every summer I am amazed to see the hand of God at work in these young lives....I know I say it often but what a privilege to be a part of such a wonderful ministry.

Yet, although it's so rewarding, there are parts that are difficult, and I usually end up feeling the 'cost' of this ministry, especially in the summer. This will be my 9th summer working here (my 7th as program director) and I know how difficult it can be. I pretty much kiss my husband good bye on the first day of camp.....we pass each other a couple times a day, once or twice we share a meal together....I'm up early before him and then he is out late, usually coming home after I am in bed. And then there are my children. Although they are pretty self sufficient, they are still at the age where they need their Mom....and it's a daily battle for me, knowing I can't be there every time. They still want someone to hold them when they fall off their bike, help them with a craft, find a stamp when they want to mail a letter, tuck them in at night, etc.....in the summer I can't always do those things.....and it makes me sad everytime they tell me (afterwards) that they hurt themselves, but managed to crawl up and get a bandaid out of the cabinet themselves....or when I come in at night and they are already asleep, even though they said they wanted to me to come kiss them good night.....there is a price, and it goes further than even what I mentioned here. There are times of lonliness, issues rarely get resolved because of busyness, I lose touch with friends, etc....but in the end, I wouldn't trade it because the rewards always outweigh the sacrifices. That is something I am learning in other areas of my life as well....it's a slow process at times!!

So, if you think about it, pray for our staff as they are about to embark on a busy/stressful 8 weeks....there will be times of frustration (that camper that pees in his bunk for the 4th time that week), times of sadness (when a friend or peer says something hurtful), times of laughter (when Dino does the "dream skit", throwing his hair around like a girl), and there will also be times of great joy (praying with a child as they make the decision to trust in the love of Christ). There will be ups and downs....but I am praying that they will remember that God never changes. Something I need to remember too....

Well, I will try to keep things updated here as much as possible...I haven't been very faithful to this blog lately, and I'm not sure why I think I'll be able to do it during the busiest season of the year, but it doesn't hurt to try!

Staff Campout

2009-06-05T21:33:00.000-07:00

Blog (Wednesday)
Well, we made it….we are in beautiful, colorful Colorado. We take the staff camping every year before camp starts to get some rest and spend time together…..it’s one of my favorite parts of the summer! This year, there was some question if I would even go or not…..there are so many things still to do at the camp to get ready for Monday (the first day of camp), that I felt like I should stay back and work. I’m so glad I left the decision to my husband and he said we should just go….yay hubby!
So although it’s cold this morning, it’s so beautiful and awesome! We usually ‘seriously’ camp (out in the middle of nowhere, no bathrooms, no showers, etc), but this year, because of the threat of rain, we are staying in Cortez, CO at the Christian Discipleship Center (friends of our mission and somewhere I would LOVE to try to minister). They have a huge, beautiful GREEN lawn area where our staff pitched tents…..but hubby and I, and a couple other staff are staying inside, in the gym (where it’s warm!). But our adventurous daughters wanted to sleep in the tents with friends. I slept somewhat restlessly, waiting for them to come in and tell me they were scared or it was too cold….but surprisingly, they stayed out all night (they are STILL asleep, cuddled up together, I’m sure!).
Last night was great…..it was lazy and relaxing. Several staff played soccer….others passed the Frisbee around….others sat around in groups and chatted. The kids had lots of room to run around….they had a blast! I stretched out on the grass with some other ladies and we chatted and took pictures….I could have sat there for hours, but finally the sound of the guitar drew us over to the fire pit, and we spent time singing and sharing. And also, with great sadness, my dear friend Nanette shared with us that her sweet sister, who had been struggling with a brain tumor for some time, had finally passed away and was in the presence of the Lord. My heart went out to my dear friend….my beautiful, Godly, amazingly strong friend. We prayed together, we wept together, but then, in a wonderful way, we praised the Lord together. It was an amazing time of fellowship as she then shared with the rest of the staff her news…..there were tears, a time of prayer and then more singing and praising God. My heart is still in a state of praise this morning and I can’t wait to have my time in the Word and fellowship with my loving, sweet, all-knowing, perfect Savior.
And I’m looking forward to today also, because this weekend the staff have been challenged to reach out the people in the community….whatever community we are in at the time. For those that are new to ‘evangelism’, they were simply asked to just approach someone, converse with them, maybe share about the camp, find out something about them, etc…..now today, they are to move on to more…..they are to actually get to the point in the conversation where they can ask, “Do you have any spiritual beliefs?”. For many, when they were presented with that task, looked outright terrified. But after hearing about Nanette’s sister, after just hearing that someone had just passed into eternity within the hour and how different our reaction to that news would have been if she had NOT been a believer, I challenged them to approach people with that in mind…..to try to find boldness because of that. I know that even for myself it created a spirit of necessity, to get out there quickly and share the Gospel. I am looking forward to what today will bring. And tonight, when we sit around and discuss our “adventures”, that many will be able to say they experienced the strength and power of the Lord and maybe there will be stories of salvation and joy, too!
“This is the day that the Lord has made, we will be rejoice and be glad in it!”

Orientation...

2009-06-02T11:15:00.000-07:00

We are well into our 2nd day of training and it's going well. There is good team spirit and there seems be a sweet unity. We are moving through our "day at camp" to give them an idea of what it's like...but it almost makes me laugh because once you add 150 campers to the mix, there is NOTHING that will prepare you for it! But we try!

It has been neat to get to know the staff.....really, what I am doing at this point is just observing them. I can see the "types" forming now.....the music types all sit around in the lodge with their guitars or on the piano......the athletic types are stretching out in the morning, ready for a nice long run.....then there are the worker types who are busy doing extra jobs......there are the prissy types (both girls and guys) who are spending most of their mornings in the bathroom in front of the mirror.....there are the tired types who are just laying around on the couches, watching everyone else.....mostly everyone has fallen into one of those groups. But it's good to see them come together in one common group.....a group of believers, committed to serving the Lord for the next couple of months. It's a neat thing to witness and to be a part of. I am so very privileged to have this ministry and be a part of something much bigger than myself. And it's so great to see God ALREADY at work here at the camp, even before a camper sets foot on the property.
I am already aware of some potential problems.....you see that too as you observe people. But I am not worried about that....God is already there, in the future, making preparations for it....preparing the situation AND preparing me! There is alot of "putting out fires" here at camp....it's a daily interruption for me....at least that is the way I used to see it. But now I see those moments as opportunities to minister to others, to depend on God, to seek Him, to watch Him work, to even love Him more. They are just part of the journey!
I'm looking forward to walk this road for the summer....if I keep myself focused on my Savior, keep my "self" under the control of the Holy Spirit, and continually draw closer to Him, then walking this road will eventually put me at a place that is closer to my Savior!!!

2009-05-30T23:28:00.000-07:00

Well, since my last post I have:
.....finished up several ministries for the year
.....had a new deck built
.....got a new storage shed built (by an awesome WV work team!)
......landscaped the backyard (finally)
.....marked MANY things off my 'to do' list
..... finished up homeschooling
.....turned a year older
...... finished a couple good books
.....had family come and visit
..... played lots of racquetball
..... found out my bff is expecting baby #2
..... planted lots of bushes and even some GRASS!
..... dealt with over 45 staff applications
..... learned lots about myself and my GOD!!!!!

It's been a good month or so and those are just the highlights....the Lord is good!
Tomorrow starts our staff orientation.....and then a week from that camp begins! Wow, where did the time go? There is a mad rush to get everything done...and in the end, it will NOT all get done.....but that is just the way it is. "The laborers are few...." :)

I am so excited about camp starting....it is such a busy and fruitful time of year. I would like to say that I will blog throughout the next couple of months, but we all know how well I do with that....but I will do what I can to keep you all updated on the progress and all that the Lord is doing...I am confident there will be much to write....just not sure if I'll have time to write them all!!!

New Mexico Easter

2009-04-13T08:14:00.001-07:00

"Praise the Lord for a sweet Easter day, with friends and family!"
Before the day began, I wasn't sure how I would feel about it. Although I love the holiday as a whole, I new this one would be different. It was our first Easter in New Mexico. And we go to a very small Native church....therefore, there was no Easter cantata, no special music, no drama, no Hallelujah chorus....all the things I loved about our Easters back home. I was wondering how this day was going to be "special" or different from all the other church services we attend every week. But of course, the Lord, in His incredible patience and love, showed me!

The day started a little heavy for me.....it had been a long week. But after a lot of 'giving over the Lord', I was able to focus on the the beauty of the day and the sweet reminder of His love for me. And as I opened my front door to catch a glimpse of the sunrise (I have an amazing view from my front porch), I was surprised to see the ground covered with snow. At first it was a little 'annoying' because you want this day to be bright and sunny...but it didn't take long to see the reminder of how are sins were washed white as snow on an 'Easter' morning so many years ago. I enjoyed a few minutes of peace and quiet, watching the snow quietly fall....before the kids woke up! Then everyone was scurrying to get their 'sunday best' on, while I began making the homemade tortillas and sausage I was to bring to the church breakfast. We managed to make it out the door only 15 minutes late, and arrived to our first church breakfast (we were attending 2 because we go to Sunday school at one church and then we attend service at our home church). It was a good time of fellowship and the kids enjoyed seeing all their friends dressed up. We ate light (since we had 2 meals that morning) and sat with good friends and shared much laughter. Then we headed across the street to our church and ate again! This breakfast was much different than the first. The earlier breakfast was very traditional in the "american" sense....our second breakfast was very traditional in the "navajo" way, with tortillas, an enchilada dish, blue corn mush pancakes, beef stew with green chilis, and lots of pastries! Although our conversation there was full of laughter, it was also quite different from the previous meal....here, we talked of upcoming crops and the sheep castration they had had over the weekend, along with exchanging of recipes for the blue corn mush. I love my church, I love the people there....things are simple, slow paced and everyone is happy to just sit and talk. There was no rushing to practice for a cantata, no worrying about getting a new easter outfit dirty.....it is a simple life and I really do love it!
We leisurely headed upstairs where we fellowshipped a little longer and relaxed. This was one of the first years that I have not done some special music or been involved in a play.....it was nice to just sit and enjoy the day. We had several visitors and the place was filling up. Finally we started the service and it was an amazing blessing to have a baptismal service the same day....so we began our time by watching 3 young people obey the Lord in baptism....what a sweet sight. I decided it was better than any special music or drama I could have witnessed! We began with baptism and ended with communion.....what a great way to focus on the life of Christ!
We skipped our usually Sunday lunch out and just headed home....desiring to just hang out with the family. We opened the Easter baskets my mom sent then settled down for an afternoon rest. It wasn't long before a neighbor kid came by to announce it was time for the Easter egg hunt. The weather had been 'iffy' all day, but when the time came, the sun was shining and the temp had gone up enough so that it was comfortable. The adults went down first to hide the 250+ eggs, and the kids followed shortly after. They had a great time looking for the eggs and seeing who found the gold coins inside. Afterwards, we sat around and talked about our day watching the kids indulge in the many jellybeans and chocolate.
And although the day ended heavy, I am so thankful for the sweet day of praise and worship He gave me....it just looked different than I expected and anything I was used to.....but a beautiful Easter day, nonetheless!

We've been BLESSED by the MESS

2009-04-08T09:08:00.000-07:00

I shared with you a few days ago about the tree that fell on one of the camp's storage sheds/bunk house. We are now in the process of cleaning up the huge mess that is the result of that tree falling. I would have much rather just set fire to it and call it a day...BUT....that was not reality :)
So instead of doing it my way (which is a GOOD thing!), the Lord sent us 'angels'. There was a workteam that came to spend a week in the area and work at our church (Native Bible Fellowship). They heard about the mess out here and decided to focus their attention and any leftover time to help us out....and wow, what a huge help they have been! They have managed to give us a large portion of THREE days and we are finishing the clean up today! All that is left is to remove the concrete slab that the shed was sitting on. They will even be moving on to other projects today....the Lord is so good to give us what we 'need' and then above that! I know I fail to recognize that sometimes.....I often miss the 'blessing' in the midst of the 'mess'. And then to see Him give beyond that is such a sweet reminder of His never-ending provisions and His promised love for us.
And the huge mess that once covered the site where the shed once sat is now cleaned up and the wood shed by the lodge is completely full of wood for next winter. He took a 'mess' and used it to 'bless' us....again, giving us much needed provisions out of an unexpected place.
He often works like that, you know? Surprising us, leaving us in a sense of wonder and amazement. Not sure why I am surprised or amazed each time.....you think I would be used to it and even expect it by now, since He does it so often. Even just last night I was surprised at where I received a blessing.....it was a big mess and as I started to begin to clear away some of the mess, started to see the glimpse of a blessing.....something I needed, and didn't even know that I needed. Now the "mess" doesn't seem as overwhelming....there is hope.

Thank you, Lord, for the beautiful people you have provided to help clear away the debris and mess here at the camp....your timing is (no surprise) perfect! Thank you for their sweet attitudes and willing hearts.....may they be blessed for their sacrifice and may you be pleased and glorified by their desire to serve You. Thank you for the simple provision of firewood for next year. ....that although something had to be destroyed first, there was good that came from it. Thank you for letting me see Your provision, Your hand, Your love in this situation. May I see all those things in other areas of my life as well......amen

April Goals

2009-04-07T05:33:00.000-07:00

APRIL GOALS

physical
* lose 5 pounds
* continue with my workout program (run 3x a week, swim 2x a week, aerobics 2x a week, basketball/racquetball at least 3x a week, etc)

mental
* more CS Lewis
* 2 more chapters in the Holiness book (we can do it Heather!)
* finish "attitude" book

social/family
* BLOG!
* dinner with R
* mom's night out and/or ladies movie night
* date night w/ hubby
* movie night with kids
* catch up on emails!
* plan CA trip (MUCH needed)

spiritual
* continue with Romans 8
* inductive Bible study (Genesis)

camp
* we have a HUGE project list.....just keep chipping away at it

2009-04-05T20:20:00.000-07:00

What a great day of worship! I love this time of year.....Palm Sunday, Easter, etc.....what a great reminder of what a wonderful Savior we have! As we sang songs that spoke of His amazing love and His sacrifice on the cross, my heart was brought to a sweet place of worship and I felt like it was just me and my Savior, alone in that room.....I loved it!
As a kid, growing up in a very 'anti-christian' home, Easter was all about the candy, gifts, chocolate and hiding eggs. It was one of my favorites back then (as you can guess, I was a pretty chubby kid, so candy was a HUGE part of my life!).....and it's one of my favorites now....but for a much different reason. I never get used to the amazing sacrifice Christ made for me...it never grows old and I never tire of celebrating it. Easter is such a different thing to me now......ever since I have given my life to Christ and as I have grown in my relationship with Him, this time of year is one of the sweetest. It's no longer about chocolate, hiding eggs and lots of candy....it's about Someone who loved me more than I can ever comprehend, Someone who thinks I am worth it, Someone who knows me intimately, and Someone who will never leave me or forsake me.....I am reminded of all those things when I remember and honor His death on the cross.
I am very much looking forward to next Sunday, spending time doing just that!

2009-04-04T17:09:00.000-07:00

The winds here have been CRAZY! It's difficult to even walk around camp and it's brutal on someone who wears contacts! It was even so bad last night that it knocked over a rather large tree here at the camp.....it landed right on top of one of our storage shed/bunk house, completely destroying it. Most of the time, this building is just used for storage, but other times one of our faithful volunteers stays in it. It's equipped with a bunk bed, small fridge, etc and Chuck(the volunteer) likes the "rustic" living condition it provides for him. He is simple guy with a huge love for the Lord and a great work ethic.....a real blessing to our camp. He has been away for a couple months to help others and was supposed to be back by now....unfortunately (or at least it SEEMED unfortunate) he has been delayed because he is getting a biopsy done on a tumor they found. That has been a sad blow to us here and we have been praying often for him and this trial. But as you can guess, we have found the "blessing" in all of it because obviously, if Chuck had been here and in his beloved bunk house, he would have very likely been killed.
Of course, the "lesson" I see here is how God is in control of everything and His hand is touching every aspect of our life..... the wind that blows right past us as we are out walking, the delays and interruptions that often fill our lives, even the tumor that showed up on the MRI. I am reading a book about "attitudes" right now and just finished up the chapter on thankfulness....and was challenged to really ask myself if I am thankful for ALL things. If I'm not, it's usually because I don't understand it, I disagree with it, or I'm fearful of it. Watching that tree fall and seeing the results have reminded me of the "perfectness" of God's plan and His complete control of ALL things.
Thank you Lord, for your protection of Chuck, for your faithfulness to us every day, for the wind, that now reminds me of your promise to work all things for good.....amen

April.....a new start....again!

2009-04-01T14:58:00.000-07:00

Well, here we are at the beginning of a new month......my chances for completing last month's goals are over....time to make new ones.
Ok, we all know I did a TERRIBLE job on the 'blogging 2x a week' goal.....BUT I kicked butt on the physical goals.....I worked out all but about 7 days this month and lost the 8 pounds! FINALLY (i know you are all thinking that exact same word!)! I did pretty well on my reading goals, fell short by a chapter on each one I think.....my 'social' goals were a joke, but the Lord allowed opportunities for new relationships and ministries, so that was still a success in a sense. Same thing with the 'spiritual' goals......i didn't accomplish exactly what I thought I would, but man, the Lord has given me much to chew on this month and He has been so good to teach me new and wonderful things! ...and brought along some really neat people to help do that......it's been a great month in that area. And I am learning through this that the plans (goals) that I set out for myself are not always His plans, and I'm learning to be ok with that! HIS are ALWAYS better than mine anyways! Things are moving along here at the camp the season for "getting ready" is upon us. We have made out an overwhelming to do list and will be chopping away at it for the next 2 months. But it's an exciting thing.....camp is always the highlight of our year and such an amazing time to see God working in the lives of Native people every day!!!! Thank you Lord for the ministry you have given my family and I......what a wonderful opportunity!

So, as usual, there were some successes and some failures.....but both are great because God was in the midst of each of them.
I'll be putting my April goals up soon.....but until then I'm going to just daily take what the Lord gives me and accomplish what I can in each day. Even the smallest victory is still a victory, right!??

Getting things done

2009-03-15T14:15:00.000-07:00

Well, I have to say, things are going better this month. I have more energy and am able to get more things done. I'm moving right through my list of "goals"....except I'm not blogging very much. It's still hard for me get here at times, but I'm making the effort. I think I've lost most of my readers because they are tired of looking and seeing the same post for months!! I'm sorry.....if I actually succeeded in ALL areas it would be scary.

In the midst of 'getting things done', we were able to take a quick vacation to Phoenix. We were supposed to be there for other reasons, but they all fell through so we just decided to go anyways and make it a family getaway.....I am so glad we did. The kids really needed some time to just 'play'. Although we did a little school while we were there, the majority of our time was spent hanging out together, going to baseball games, museums, visiting friends, etc. It was a good time away and the weather was amazing! The kids would go outside before breakfast and climb around in the lemon trees or go exploring through the grapefruit grove. They loved it and I enjoyed just sitting and watching them.
One particular morning they were armed with "weapons" (which included a tree limb and an old feather duster) and they were in a battle with an busy couple of bees that were flying around the flowering orange trees. They would "sneak" up on it, surround it, then attack it....getting it all stirred up and then running (screaming) to me for protection. They would crouch down behind my lawn chair, waiting til the coast was clear. It was amusing to see my "army" of children and their fake bravery. And of course, as I watched them, I was reminded of my own disillusioned courage that I sometimes have.....thinking I can face the enemy and take him head on. But as soon as he actually turns and looks at me, I run away, seeking the safety of my Father. Now, I don't intentionally go around poking at sin (I hope not at least) and trying to stir it up....no, it's much more subtle for us 'mature' ones (I say that sarcastically). Often times, I think I'm just fine and then all of a sudden I look up and I'm looking straight into the face of danger, or an obstacle, or a fear (yes, i have a few...wink!). Then I realize, I'm standing there, waving something as useless as a worn out feather duster at the oncoming enemy. It's then that I go darting to hide behind my Protector, my Savior. And there is such comfort when I do, knowing that I am completely safe.....not a fake kind of security I find when I seek refuge in other things, but a real sense of peace and rest.....the kind only He can give.

I learned many other things while watching my children last week.....I hope to be able to share a few more here as time allows. If not, just pray that I will remember them in a way that will cause me to grow closer to God and learn more about Him.

But as for now, we are back home, it was VERY cold last night and this morning and I was sad to have left my sunny, warm Arizona....but later today it warmed up enough to go outside for a nice run and some other exercise. Back to the crazy, unpredictable weather of New Mexico!

Fresh new month

2009-03-03T21:02:00.000-08:00

Ok.....i'm wiping the slate clean. Last month was a complete flop concerning my goals. No real excuse except I felt like poop every day! But I am feeling somewhat better now and motivated to be productive, instead of a permanent fixture of the living room!
I'm through discussing it...moving on......

PHYSICAL:
1. run 4x a week
2. swim 2x a week
3. aerobics class OR workout video 2x a week
4. weights and crunches 4x a week
5. basketball 2x this month (Sundays)
Lose 8 pounds for the month.....ugh! for ONCE I would love to meet this goal!

1. cut out snacking
2. no eating after 9pm
3. only 3 pepsi's a week....Lord, help me!

READING:
1. finish 3 chapters in Holiness book (and swap notes)
2. finish 3 chapters in Attitude book (and swap notes)
3. 1 fiction :)

SOCIAL/FAMILY:
1. blog 2x a week
2. dinner with R, and T
3. organize mom's night out
4. organize ladies movie night
5. answer emails
6. game time with the kids once a week
7. one family movie night (chapel)

SPIRITUAL:
1. re-memorize Romans 8
2. Inductive Bible study (10 chapters in Genesis)
3. create 'organized' prayer journal

CAMP:
(pretty much same goals as last time since I didn't do ANYTHING in this area!)
1. lost and found
2. inventory t-shirts
3. Campfire News
4. prayer letter
5. write supporters

2009-02-13T05:13:00.000-08:00

It's been a fairly productive week, despite some "obstacles". It feels so good to get things crossed off my list....I've actually been able to see my list physically shrinking! So there is that much to be thankful for :)
But I'm sure I can find other things to be thankful for.......

.....for a nice trip to Phoenix (792)
.....for time in warmer weather (793)
.....the possibility of feeling better soon (794)
.....watching my children work hard and see good results (795)
.....making plans for a visit with a faraway friend (796)
.....care packages in the mail from "moms" (797)
.....the opportunity to teach (798)
.....financial blessings (799)
.....a long distance friend to "study" with (800)
.....accomplishments (801)
.....quiet early mornings (802)
.....upcoming Bible studies (803)
....a wonderful, Godly mechanic (804)
.....the most amazing full moon last night (805)
.... continuing education (806)
.... safety in many travels (807)
.... phone calls from WV (808)
....that my kids like to "snuggle" (809)
.... time alone at the barn, quietly cleaning (810)
.... the minor prophets (811)
....the faithfulness of God all through the ages (812)
.....His promises to ME (813)

February Goals

2009-02-07T07:37:00.000-08:00

Well, it's a new month and a new opportunity to get much accomplished! Last month ended well....there were a few things I couldn't seem to find time to do, but for the most part I am pleased with the outcome.

I did manage to lose 'almost' 3 pounds for the month....2.5.....so close! I could have done better with my exercising....jump roping never made it into the daily schedule, but I really enjoyed the aerobics class I joined and I started working out with weights regularly. And I have hopes of training for another race this spring (if the ground would ever thaw out enough here to be able to run without all the mud!!).
I haven't finished my CS Lewis biography but making progress....and the guitar dvds never found their way out of the cabinet.....sadness! One day......
I accomplished all my "social" goals and had great fellowship with many friends.
I did not get "alone" time with each kid and that is inexcusable....that needs to be a bigger prioritiy.
I did get most of my 'spiritual' goals accomplished and have really enjoyed my Inductive Bible study.....God's Word is so full of amazing truths and lessons just for me (or so it feels sometimes!).
And minus getting the first edition of "campfire news" done, I completed all my "camp" tasks, and then some!
So overall, a fairly successful month......some victories, some defeats....but God is still good through it all~

February goals
physical:
lose another 3 pounds
aerobics 1x a week
crunches and weights 10 days on/2 days off/10 days on
jog 2x a week/walk 2x a week
swim 1x a week ?
floss every day!!

mental
finish CS Lewis biography
finish 6 chapters in "Holiness" book (2-7)
1 fiction
4 hours of piano a week

social/family
blog 2x a week
dinner with R, K, and N
1 movie night with Wes
email 3 people (not replies!)

spiritual
@ least 15 days of inductive Bible study
1 week of Ephesians
5 memory verses

camp
lost and found
inventory t-shirts
bi-monthly reports
Campfire News
confirm 10 more staff for summer

Looking forward to seeing all that God is going to accomplish through me this month....hopefully these things, and some 'unexpected' things as well!

Joy

2009-01-29T06:02:00.001-08:00

In Sunday School we continue to read through Bridges, The Practice of Godliness.....a great book. This past week we looked at the characteristic of "joy". I've heard, more than once, the difference between 'joy' and 'happiness'....the first being a result of our salvation and the latter being a result of our circumstances. I get that...and I see that in my life. My happiness is often effected by what is going on around me.....how my kids are behaving, what my husband is doing (or not doing), when I fall behind on my responsibilities, or even something as small as running out of hot water in the shower....all those things can easily affect my "happiness". But our joy should be something different. The joy of the Lord is something that shouldn't fluctuate with our circumstances....it should have it's foundation and stability in God and His steadfast love for us. And for the most part, I think I live that....although, my countenance and outward attitude may show frustration and irritability, deep down I am confident who God is and that He only wants the best for me.
Even in Sunday school, I listened as some people could not get their mind wrapped around that concept....asking how can we have "joy" when terrible, tragic things happen in our lives. I'm kind of a black and white type of person....I don't like 'gray' areas. In my mind I was saying, 'It's simple, just look at who God is and what He has done for us and continues to do for us...focus on that".....seems like a simple concept. UNTIL, I have a day like I had a couple days ago....wow....have I been humbled. It wasn't a bad day as far as daily circumstances....my kids were doing ok, hubby was helpful, I was getting stuff done....even had enough hot water in the shower! On this day, there was 'inner' stress....one of those days where my weakness, my failures, my fears, my very own sin sat in front of me all day....never budging, never hidden from my sight, always before me. I found little rest that day, even though I brought it before the Lord all throughout the day. I don't doubt that He heard me....I was confident of that...but man it made for a long day and there came a point where I think my joy was wavering. I was 'downcast in my soul' and ugh, it was no fun! I was humbled because I was catching a real, and painful glimpse of not living in the joy of the Lord. I am so glad I didn't open my mouth in Sunday school and blurt out how easy it should be for us to have that joy! Lesson learned!
And just so you know, there was a 'joyful' ending to that story....the Lord has been gracious and kind to walk with me through that difficult day, and although I will still continue to struggle those areas, I saw small growth and progress toward victory! And, I am even enjoying parts of the progress too....who would have thought!

2009-01-24T06:12:00.001-08:00

So, I'm on day 5 of not sleeping well....I did manage to get about 5 hours last night, so that is a praise....but I'm ready for this to pass! But until then, I will try to find some good in it....that's why I thought this would be a good time to continue on in my quest of "thankfulness". I don't remember when I started my list of 1000 things to be thankful for, but i know that I have enjoyed the journey. Although there are some days that were harder than others to bring up that heart of thankfulness.....ha....:)

a solid 5 hours of sleep......(772)
early morning episodes of I Love Lucy.....(773)
watching my girls enjoy friends and a new craft.....(774)
listening to my son "giggle" down the hall....(775)
"alone" time driving......(776)
a good week of school.....(777)
time at the piano......(778)
dinner out with friends.....(779)
warmer days....(780)
3 little girls who accepted Christ at Ft Wingate.....(781)
the book of Genesis and the lessons learned there.....(782)
an upcoming trip.....(783)
a good book.....(784)
my new planner coming in the mail.....(785)
time to scrapbook.....(786)
all the laundry is finished.........(787)
plenty of wood for the stove.....(788)
cinnamon rolls in the oven......(789)
a new friend.....(790)
answered prayer......(791)

Honoring God

2009-01-22T04:08:00.000-08:00

In Sunday School we are reading The Practice of Godliness", by Jerry Bridges.....this particular passage stood out to me....

"To fail to be thankful to God is a most grievous sin. When Paul recounts the tragic moral downfall of mankind in Romans 1, he begins with the statement, 'although they knew God, they neither glorified him as God nor gave thanks to him, but their thinking became futile and their foolish heart were darkened.' To glorify God is to acknowledge the majesty and dignity of his person. To thank God is to acknowledge the bountifulness of his hand in providing and caring for us. And when mankind in their pride failed to give God the glory and thanks due him. God gave them up to ever-increasing immorality and wickedness. God's judgement came because man failed to honor him and to thank him. If failure to give thanks is such a grievous sin, then, it behoves us to cultivate a spirit of thankfulness that permeates our entire lives.
One of the most instructive passages on the subject of thankfulness is Luke 17:11-19, the account of the healing of the 10 lepers. Here were ten men in the most pitiful of all human misery. Not only were they afflicted with a terrible and loathsome disease they were outcasts from society because of their disease. They had no one to relieve either their physical or emotional suffering. And then Jesus healed them.
As these men went to show themselves to the priest and thus be restored to their families and friends, only one of them, realizing what had happened, turned back to give thanks to Jesus. Ten men were healed, but only one gave thanks. How prone we are to be like the other nine. We are anxious to receive but too careless to give thanks. We pray for God's intervention in our lives, then congratulate ourselves rather than God for the results. When one of the American lunar missions was in serious trouble some years ago, the American people were asked to pray for the safe return of the astronauts. When they were safely back on earth, credit was given to the technological achievements and skill of the American space industry. No thanks or credit was publicly given to God. This is not unusual. It is the natural tendency of mankind.
In addition to instructing us about human nature, the account of the 10 lepers also instructs us about God. thanking him for blessings we receive is very important to him. Jesus asked, 'Were not all ten cleansed? Where are the other nine?' Jesus was very much aware that only one returned to give him thanks. And God is very much aware today when we fail to thank him for the ordinary as well as the unusual blessings that come to us daily from his hand.

Unfortunately, this stood out to me because it was convicting.

Still crossing things off my list.....

2009-01-18T14:11:00.000-08:00

Well, after only a couple of weeks, I am still moving through my 'goals'.....one step at a time, one day at a time.....that's pretty good for me. Usually I get bored after about a week and start making up new stuff :)

My goal to lose 3 pounds may actually be a reality....that is WAY cool! Usually that is one that always falls through the cracks....I'm halfway there this time. I'll be so excited if I get to cross that one off my list! I'm doing well on my exercising (some days better than others)....I've been doing the crunches and have been on a few walks, done a couple of exercise dvds, and even went for a nice long bike ride.....still haven't done any jump rope yet....ask me some time this week (but I won't complain if you don't!!)
I'm still plowing through my CS Lewis biography.....haven't even picked up my guitar yet though! (Jamie, I wish you were here to continue my lessons!!)
I'm doing well with my 'social' goals (which is weird for me)....I'm having dinner with R on Wednesday and K on Thursday (probably won't help my 'losing 3 pounds' goal!). I've been blogging pretty regularly (duh!) and have even sent out MORE emails....what has gotten into me???
I haven't been able to really have alone time with each kid so far....but the girls and I did spend some time with our horse (couldn't ride because of the ice). Still working on thank you notes (ugh!)....we did get about half of them written the other night...progress, right?
I am continuing in my inductive Bible study, but haven't picked up my Ephesians one yet.....it is quite time consuming....not an excuse, I know!
I haven't done so well with my "camp" goals.....really need to focus on those this week.

But on a positive note, we have done LOTS of school this week and I personally have seen the Lord work in my life is really awesome ways this week. As much as I want to complete my goals and cross things off my list, I am loving the time with my kids and the time with my Lord. Nothing takes the place of that!

I hope you all are accomplishing much in this new year so far and I pray even more so that you are seeing the hand of God in those accomplishments and victories!......Press on!!

A Better Place to Be

2009-01-15T20:43:00.000-08:00

"Seek the peace and prosperity of the city to which I have carried you into exile. Pray to the Lord for it, because if it prospers, you too will prosper. Jeremiah 29:7

Have you ever been somewhere you didn't want to be? Maybe it was a job, a town, or a marriage. Maybe it was a stage in life, like singlehood, or a state in life, like a disability. It's a very possible that as you read this, you're wishing you were somewhere else - anywhere else - living a different life, but you know it's not likely that anything is going to change any time soon.
God has a word for you. It's the same word he gave a group of people when they were stuck in another country, exiled from their homeland. They'd folded their arms and said, 'We're going to wait this thing out, and when we get home, we'll start living our lives.'
Through the prophet Jeremiah, God told them, 'You're not going home any time soon, so start making your lives here. Plant gardens, buy homes, let your children get married, and pray for the peace and prosperity of the place where you're currently living because, by doing that, you too will be blessed with peace and prosperity' (Jeremiah 29:5-7).
Don't invest your energy in hopes of leaving; instead invest your energy in the people around you. Don't be physically present but mentally somewhere else, thinking of the future or the past, thinking of someplace else. Our journey with Jesus requires we be fully present in the present.

You may feel like you're in exile too, but God is still working in your life; and his message to you is: Dig in and fully embrace the life around you."

(provided by Jon Walker)

A Fresh Monday

2009-01-12T08:55:00.001-08:00

I hear all the time that people hate Mondays....I must be weird, because I really like Mondays! I love the freshness and newness of a new week. There is something invigorating about it and I feel ready and rested, even if it were a crazy weekend.

I posted a few of my goals for this month, and so far so good.....I'm plugging away at them and I am feeling much more "victorious" these days. And I think my family runs smoother and they seem more relaxed now that we are back on schedule and "Mom" is on the ball!

As far as my physical goals, I have already lost 1 pound (small, but a victory nonetheless!) and I just finished a round of crunches. I have plans for going on a nice long walk this afternoon....hold me to it! :)
I am well into my C.S. Lewis Biography....already learning lots that I didn't know about this accomplished writer. Sometimes just getting the big picture about someone, helps to see them in a clearer light. And as far as reading one fiction book, that is hardly ever a problem for me.....I'm more than halfway through that one!
In the area of being "social", I have already sent out well more than 3 emails (I was feeling friendly!!) and I have attempted to make plans with some of my friends I haven't seen in a while.
I have accomplished nothing in the area of my family goals....but the month is young!! :)
I have been tackling my inductive Bible study (in Genesis right now) and loving it! So many truths and lessons to be learned....a new one every day!
And as far as my camp duties, I am daily working on the snack shop (a little at a time) and I wrote my weekly report last night (ugh!...that takes motivation to do!). And I am in the process of confirming some staff for next summer. Pray I get my prayer letter done soon!!

I know that may not be the most interesting thing you have read today, but it helps me to write it all out....my success and my failures.....so I can keep a good account of it all.
I have worked hard on not wasting my time and trying to be productive for a large part of the day. I am trying to be careful with my "down time" and not let it end up taking the bigger portion of my day.....so easy to do, right!??

Hope your day is a productive one as well!!!

2009-01-10T07:55:00.000-08:00

Heartfelt Gratitude....by Chris Tiegreen

"The Pharisee took his stand and was praying like this: 'God, I thank You that I'm not like other people - greedy, unrighteous, adulterers, or even like this tax collector'" (Luke 18:11).

Be careful what you thank God for. Not that we shouldn't be thankful for everything He has given us, and for every circumstances of our lives, or even for life itself; of course we should have grateful hearts. But often we thank God for privilege, not realizing that our awareness of it was meant to prompt our sensitivity to others. Thankfulness for what God has blessed us with is not enough. knowledge of the blessing is granted us that we might extend the blessing to others.
The Pharisee's assumption of his place of privilege, in this parable, caused him to be insensitive to others. He thought God's blessing on his life - if being a Pharisee can be considered a blessing - meant that God favored him and had passed over others. Nothing could have been further from the truth. God's favor comes to those who know their need. Abundance and status are deceitful, often blinding us to the very need God wants us to acknowledge.
Our gratitude often contains a tragic irony. We think we are being spiritual by thanking Him for our own idols. Are we really grateful in God for material blessings? Or are we just thankful to have them, regardless of how we got them? The difference is subtle. How can we tell?
Ask yourself this question: If God took the blessings away, would I still love Him? If so, you were truly thanking God. If not, you only saw Him as a means to another end.
So today, thank God for all Hi has blessed you with. But be aware of spiritual pitfalls in the blessings H has given. Do not let them mask your deeper needs.

"Some people always sigh in thanking God."
Elizabeth Barrett Browing

.....quiet mornings (750)
......enough money for groceries (751)
......a spontaneous mid afternoon cookout in the snow (752)
.....more visiting time with a new friend (753)
.....having friends over for dinner and laughs (754)
.....plans for improvement (755)
.....kids having fun at the Geography quiz (756)
.....rewards (757)
.....working toward goals (758)
.....teaching my children (759)
.....a warm coat (760)
..... late night tv with hubby (761)
.....more time to think (762)
.....good reading (763)
.....the expectation of a good read ( a new book on order) (764)
.....my inductive study (765)
.....the knowledge I get from my time with the Lord (766)
.....the comfort I get from my time with the Lord (767)
.....someone to defend me (768)
.....a small weight loss victory (769)
.....pain....because it's an opportunity for God's healing and comfort (770)
.....His faithfulness....which means I can rest (771)

Goals (Jan)

2009-01-08T05:35:00.000-08:00

Well, the New Year is here and as usual, it's full of resolution and goals. Every year I set new goals...some are accomplished, some die along the way. But my real effort is put into my monthly goals, which usually bring me to my yearly ones....I've found that is the only way I can even come close to seeing them realized....
This year I've only made a few overall goals.....some including books I will read (going through the C.S. Lewis books), losing some weight (ugh!!....my goal is 25 pounds for the whole year), learning the guitar (that was a goal last year that I never finished), and then there are some spiritual goals I have set for myself.
I thought I would try to post my monthly goals here, in hopes that would spur me on and provide some accountability....we'll see....

JANUARY

physical (i'm more limited with what I can do because of all the snow here)
1. lose 3 pounds
2. do an exercise DVD once a week
3. jump rope 2x a week
4. go for a walk 2x a week
5. crunches 2x a week
6. relax in a nice bath at least once a week

mental
1. read CS Lewis biography and start one of his books by the end of the month
2. read 1 fiction
3. start my guitar lessons (dvd)

social
1. lunch with R and K
2. send 3 emails (not replies, but initiate an email...i'm really bad at that!)
3. have R and A over for dinner and a movie
4. blog at least 2x a week

family
1. alone time with each kid at least once this month
2. take the girls horseback riding 2x this month (the snow has hindered that lately)
3. get all Christmas thank you notes done (from the kids)
4. 2 game nights/ 1 movie night

spiritual (wont' list all of these...but here are a few)
1. memorize 5 verses
2. do one week of my Ephesians bible study
3. begin my inductive study again

camp
1. finish cleaning craft shop
2. Campfire News
3. confirm with 10 staff about working this summer
4. weekly reports
5. prayer letter
6. inventory camp t-shirts

I know it seems like a lot, but really it's not....I know I CAN do it, if I prioritize well and stay focused. Please pray for me as I strive to accomplish these things.....I have not chose them randomly, but hopefully all of them will improve my family life, my ministry and my walk with the Lord.
Here we go.......

2009-01-05T06:28:00.000-08:00

.....another beautiful snowfall (733)
.....a day to stay home (734)
.....a fire in the wood stove (735)
.....a growing friendship (736)
.....a new book (737)
......a fresh new week, full of goals and plans (738)
.....fresh baked bread (739)
.....being able to share it with needy neighbors (740)
.....having One who knows my every thought, hurt, and joy (741)
.....a good time of prayer with fellow workers (742)
.....a peaceful walk to the barn {knee deep in snow, but peaceful nonetheless} (743)
.....knowing my sine are as 'white as snow' (744)
.....ministry opportunities (745)
.....the fact that the Lord still gives me those opportunities, despite my own flaws and screw ups (746)
.....mercies that are new every morning (747)
.....sleepy headed kids in the morning (748)
.....the Word, my chair and my favorite blanket (749)

Brokenness is God's requirement for maximum usefulness

2009-01-04T07:09:00.000-08:00

{taken from Charles Stanley's Life Principles Bible}

Life Principle 15

"It has been said that a soul is converted in a moment of time, but becoming a 'saint' takes a lifetime. In other words, our conversion to faith happens instantly; however, in order to bring us to maturity, the Lord must break us over and over again.
All too often I see Christians struggling to amass a long list of accomplishments - perhaps they hope to hand the Lord their resume someday, saying 'See what I've done for You?'
However, God oftentimes works through our brokenness by discarding rather than accumulating. He calls us to shed this, toss that, purge ourselves of a particular trait or habit, and repent of certain desires or goals. He want us to dispose of all 'self' until we can truly say, 'All that I am and all that I have is God's.'
What comes to mind when you think of being broken? Ask yourself, What is the Father stripping away from my life? What's blocking my total surrender to Him? What do I trust or love more than Him? The Lord's breaking process will eventually produce spiritual maturity - and we aren't useful in ministry until some of our fleshly 'rough edges' have been worn off through suffering. In that way, we become a valuable tool in God's hand to bring others to wholeness.
Remember, the Lord didn't remove the 'thorn' from Paul's life, yet He did help his servant understand why the trial was allowed to persist. After receiving an amazing revelation, the apostle was given a difficult hindrance to keep him from developing pride - the purpose of the 'thorn' was to humble him and make him rely solely on Christ (2 Cor. 12:1-10).
Brokenness is a sign of the Lord's love and activity in your life. He will break your self-reliance because He loves you deeply and knows that, left on your own, you would yield to pride and selfishness. Any discipline experienced in such hard times in God's way of preparing you for future service. While none of us enjoy going through heartache or adversity, it helps to know that God has one purpose in mind for such seasons: spiritual victory (Heb 12:11). Only Jesus Christ can take your weakness and turn it into strength, hope, and honor. Will you trust Him to change your life?"

This was an encouragement to me....especially the last part, where I was reminded that God wants only 'victory' for us.....that helps me to rest in difficult times, knowing that as long as I surrender to Him and His Word, then the victory will eventually come.

the burden of sin

2009-01-03T09:44:00.000-08:00

"In weighing our sins let us not use a deceitful balance, weighing at our own discretion what we will, and how we will, calling this heavy and that light: but let us use the divine balance of the holy Scriptures, as taken from the treasury of the Lord, and by it weigh every offense, nay, not weigh, but rather recognize what has been already weighed by the Lord."
Augustine of Hippo

"Sin is not a weakness, it is a disease; it is red-handed rebellion against God and the magnitude of that rebellion is expressed by Calvary's cross."
Oswald Chambers

"We have a strange illusion that mere time cancels sin.....But mere time does nothing either to the fact or the guilt of sin. The guilt is washed out not by time but by repentance and the blood of Christ."

C.S. Lewis

"Looking at the wound of sin will never save anyone. What you must do is look at the remedy."
DL Moody

"By nature I was too blind to know Him, too proud to trust Him, too obstinate to serve Him, too base-minded to love Him."
John Newton

"Any time we attempt to meet our own needs or accomplish anything without God, we sin and set ourselves up for failure."
Charles Stanley

2009-01-02T06:28:00.001-08:00

More devotions....

"Yesterday we learned about brokenness as a tool the Lord uses to mold us into His likeness. As believers, we should desire this outcome, and yet the process is a painful one. That's why our heavenly Father gives encouragement in a number of ways.
First, the Lord breaks us in love. Believers are His children; as parents lovingly redirect their sons and daughters, God does so with us. He never allows suffering out of anger.
*Second, He sets a limit on our suffering, controlling the pressure to be sure it's never more than we can bear (2 Corinthians 4:8......"We are troubled on every side, yet not distressed; we are perplexed, but not in despair...").Our Father knows exactly what is needed to break our stubbornness, rebellion, and selfishness, but He will never break our spirit.
*Third, God brings clarity through difficult times. As we learn that His ways are higher than ours, we gain greater understanding of His amazing attributes. At the same time, our self-awareness starts to sharpen, and old, unproductive thought patterns begin to fade.
*Fourth, God promises that He will never desert us. Brokenness can feel lonely and empty, as we are losing the things that once captured our loyalty. But our Father replaces those with Himself - and He is vastly more satisfying and dependable.
*Fifth, the Lord is always patient. He knows our background and deeply rooted thought patterns. Yet He also sees the end result and knows that the journey is worth it. "

"For which cause we faint not; but though our outward man perish, yet the inward man is renewed day by day.
For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, worketh for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory,
While we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen; for the things which are seen are temporal, but the things which are not seen are eternal."
2 Corinthians 4:16-18

That is a great reminder if you are going through a painful time.....knowing all the beautiful characteristics of God.....His faithfulness, His love, grace and mercy, His dependability, His great intimate knowledge of us. There is great comfort that comes from that....comfort that can only come from Him. No one else knows your deepest thoughts, fears, joys, private victories, and personal failures.....and because of that, He is the only one who can truly give perfect wisdom, comfort and guidance. So turn to Him for all that you need.....and then 'allow' Him to give you exactly what you need....

Thankful....

2009-01-02T06:13:00.000-08:00

I was hoping to be done with my list of "1000" things to be thankful for by the end of the year, but didn't quite make it! But it wasn't for lack of things to be thankful for, only a lack of time and energy to get here and share them! Maybe better management of my time should be a New Year's resolution :)

.....a wonderful Christmas, we were truly blessed (712)
.....LOTS of snow (713)
...enjoying all that snow with my kids and friends (714)
.....new friendships (715)
.....private worship and chats with my Savior (716)
.....fellowship with friends and neighbors (717)
.....warm clothes (718)
.....Christmas goodies (719)
.....laughter late at night (720)
.....confidence, even in times of "not knowing" (721)
.....God's provisions, way beyond our expectations (722)
..... plenty of firewood (723)
.....opportunities to feed the hungry (724)
.....a great winter retreat (725)
.....being able to lessen the loads of others (726)
.....then taking that load to my Father (727)
.....sharing life lessons (728)
.....seeing my children enjoy their visit from "Gia" (729)
.....desire for change (730)
.....praise that Ruthie came home from the hospital (731)
.....a new year, a fresh start (732)
..