~~Well, we have completed 2 days of homeschooling....and we're all alive..... and not twitching...:)

I was super overwhelmed by this new curriculum, but after successfully completing a couple days, I am feeling better.  The real test will be tomorrow when we have our weekly meeting with another homeschool family who we are working with....hopefully my children will represent us well and answer at least a few of the questions correctly!  We shall see! 
(knowing me, it probably went so well because I forgot to do half of the work or something!)

We will meet with our homeschooling friends twice a week....once on Wednesdays for history and then again on Fridays for Literature and Science.  We will do discussions, projects and experiments on these days.  I'm looking forward to sharing the work load and my kids are looking forward to having "classmates".  Hopefully this was a good decision..... :) 

~~The rain has kept me from running a couple days in the past week, but we need the rain so desperately, I will not complain.  I just know I will have to work harder on the days I can run....I love a challenge. 

~~I am reading through the book of Jeremiah right now.....amazing how clearly the Lord spoke to His people back then.  And amazing how openly they rejected those words that were spoken......

I feel like I should be getting more done, since my family is not home this week....yet the progress is slow.  I'm working lots every day but the list grows longer each day.....feel like I'm just spending my day on a stationary bike.....going nowhere...

Speaking of stationary bike....I spent some time on one today.....rode 5 miles, ran 8.3 total, did weights, and played rball.......hoping to see results on the scale.  Trying to "shock" my body since I pretty much plateaued this summer.....it's getting harder to lose weight....having to push it harder. 

Getting school ready is making me a little crazy......Tapestry of Grace is very detailed and pretty overwhelming....hard to find the books my kids need to read (I don't want to buy them because there are so many and sometimes they only need to read a few chapters)......if you have any ideas, I'm listening. 

here are the books I need:
The Struggle for Sea Power
This country of Ours
Diary of a Napoleonic Foot Soldier
The New Nation
The Story of Napoleon
Diary of an Early American Boy

I'm back....maybe......

I've been able to get some rest.....

but i'm still not really up for being social.....yet I am feeling a little better. 

I am going to post a few things when I can....nothing deep or personal....


WEIGHT LOSS:
Before the summer I had lost about 40 pounds.....during the summer and since I have lost almost another 10 pounds.  It's been quite the journey.....ups and downs.  But I am still moving forward, regardless of the critics or weirdos. 

It's nice to not be under the tight schedule and scrutiny of the summer.....I am stepping up my running schedule....running 6 miles at a time lately.  I remember when 3 miles was a nice long run....now I feel like it's more of a warm up.  I've also gone back to strength training....crunches, push ups, weights.  I am wanting to lose another 10 pounds at least, by the time we leave for our deputation trip....although there is a part of me that is not even wanting to visit anyone.....

SCHOOL:
We are starting a new curriculum for our humanities this year....Tapestry of Grace.  I am working with another home school mom in this area....hoping it will help in keeping me accountable with my schooling and hoping the kids will enjoy having "classmates".  Our load will be heavy this year....my kids are involved in several activities outside the regular school load.  Praying the Lord will use these activities to grow my children into happy, well rounded kiddos......and that the time we spend in the car will be a time of growing closer together.  I'm trying to have a 'positive' outlook on the upcoming crazy busy year.

MINISTRY:
My ministry load will be kinda heavy also.  I will be doing a lot at Ft Wingate this year (taking a ot of the teaching load), and possibly doing some tutoring there.  I have committed to staying in touch with several of our staff, which will require quite a bit of traveling, as they are spread all over the reservation and surrounding areas.  I am looking forward to this part of my ministry....I like the one on one time. 
I've also been informed that I'm not carrying my weight around here at the camp, so I will be stepping that up, as well. 
Not sure where all the hours in the day will come from...but I'm going to be everything I'm supposed to be to everyone that has expectations of me.  This year I am striving to please everyone and do the work that is set before me. 

So, it has been a really long time since I've posted......I know.
And I doubt anyone still comes here....which is ok.

We are halfway through our summer.....God has done amazing things in the lives of campers....it's always so awesome to see first hand.  Sometimes I can't believe I get to work here....what a privilege!!!

But on a personal level, it's been a not so good summer.  I am amazed in a different way.  I am amazed at people......and their carelessness with their words.  I have no desire to go into detail....and I don't think I am one to really care what people think....but this past year, I have managed to become the subject of many conversations (ones that I am not a part of).  And if you know me at all, I am an extremely private person and the thought of just ONE person discussing me or anything about me almost makes me sick to my stomach.  The thought of others joining in has made it almost unbearable.

Because this has never really happened, I had no idea how I would re-act. 
Now I know....and it's not good.

I am almost a hermit.
I socialize with almost no one.
I desire to be around no one.
I hardly eat and exercise all the time (funny how that one worked out....I didn't do that until people were SURE I was already doing it.  At least now that rumor is developing some truth).
I'm exhausted.
I trust no one.
 

This will be my last blog.  I have no desire to communicate with anyone.  I wasn't very good at it anyway.

Life on the rez....

There are many things that have changed in my life since moving out here to the reservation.....what I wear, what I eat, how I speak, etc. My personality has even changed (I shudder when I think of how loud and obnoxious I was when I first started working out here, 19 years ago).

As I sat in our prayer meeting yesterday morning, I realized something else has changed since I moved here.....my prayer requests. Twenty years ago I would have never thought I would be praying about things like sheep who are sick, a safe day branding cattle, for medicine men and for rain.
I was reminded of this change as we sat around as a staff and shared prayer requests.....
*safety while out cutting wood for the elderly and for Navajo churches
*yet another drunk driving accident
*elderly mom, that she will be safe this winter (still hauls her own wood and uses an out house)
*same elderly mom having visions/dreams of a medicine man that keeps visiting her at night
*missionaries who are struggling to be away from family members who are sick
*the struggle of teaching the concept of "sin" to Native people (they don't understand it because they are taught they are born with a 'neutral' spirit)...the concept of sin is not in their tradition.
*Shalako season in Zuni (google it)....and the persecution the youth experience because of this festival. Some of the kids are being groomed to be leaders in this festival....they are persecuted for NOT wanting to participate, and are often forced to perform and be involved.

These are just a few of the things that are on the hearts of the missionaries here and a few things that are going on to hinder the Word of God coming to the Native people.

If you think about it, please pray for one or two of these this week.....

Starting a fresh week of school this week.....and staying at home to do it (instead of going to the craft shop, where we usually go) because we are expecting a few inches of snow today....a good day to just stay inside.

Still not having great success in the area of school, but almost getting too tired to care. Just going to move through it and get what we can done each day.

On the agenda this week is the usual math, English (which Abigail is WAY behind in), reading, phonics and handwriting (for Marissa), history and science. We have a couple science experiments coming up....we finally grew some bread mold and are working on some algae and will study them under the microscope. The kids also have a paper due on how we see Christ throughout the Old Testament due this Thursday. That will take up a good chunk of time. They also have to come up with science experiments for Co-op (Peter's is due this Thursday, the girls are due next week).

I will be out of town next week so I am leaving a skeleton schedule for Dad to do with the kiddos. Not going to worry about what gets done and what doesn't.....I'll fix it all when I get back. We are supposed to take that following week off because of Thanksgiving, but not sure if that will happen....may just work all the way through it.

Going to try and not focus on all that is not getting done, but on all the opportunities the Lord gives me. I work full-time outside of schooling and I need to give that some focus, too. I am slowly distancing myself from ministry because of schooling....I need to re-evaluate and follow the Lord and the work He has given me.

I'm a little bit of a funk these days.....schooling still goes on, but my heart is not in it. We still review spelling words, grow mold for science experiments, and take apart and put fractions back together again.....but I know I'm just going through the motions. I can't get it all done each day, so I live in a constant state of failure and discouragement in this area of my life. That can wear you down.

But In know this is what the Lord wants me to do, so I am going to continue on....trusting that I am walking down the path He has led me on.

Despite my lack of enthusiasm, we are getting some school done.

I won't highlight everything since I have not been here for about a month....but we are moving through it and everyone is doing fairly well, although each child has their own specific struggles. But I have stepped back some (and I use that word loosely) and let them kinda figure out some of their school on their own. I don't feel settled in my mind about it, but at least it is relieving some of the pressure off of me for a few days.....room to breathe. My niece, who seems to struggle the most, has not cried in 2 days....that's a record for the past month or so. Therefore, "I" haven't cried in the past 2 days.

I head up the local Home School Co-op and I think it has been a success....the kids have really seemed to enjoy it. Three of mine have to write a paper for next week and I'm a little worried for them....it's a 2 page paper on how we see God move through the Old Testament....kinda reminds me of my college days! But I'm sure they will do fine and hopefully they will learn something from it.

We have been busy outside of home schooling so that has put a little strain on us, but hopefully things will start to settle down some. The camp schedule is lighter the next couple of weeks so that will help a little.....although the list of things to do outside of serving groups that come is long and continually growing....it will never get done.....but we must do the tasks laid before us and not grow weary in doing good.

Although it's only Friday pm, I am sitting here preparing for next week....and as I write out each child's schedule and plan their lessons, I am saying a prayer for them (and myself) that we will honor the Lord with our efforts and strive to serve Him and others with each task given to us.