Again, more old blogs.....from March 2007

the view

We were driving to Cincinnati, Ohio last weekend......it was a somewhat peaceful stretch of our drive....the kids were watching/listening (with earphones) to a movie, Wes was daydreaming (while driving!), I had a cd in and I was staring out the window. We were on a small highway where the Ohio river was on our left and a mountain on our right. It was right around sunset and I was looking out over the river, watching the sun start to settle over the other side.....it's an amazing sight and I'm in silent awe for a moment. Then I start to think how cool it would be to see that view every evening....as the idea started to grow, I panned across the highway to the right side, the mountain side, with the plan to pick a spot where I would build my house so that I could look at that view every day.....how niave of me to think I was the first one to come up with that idea! As I scanned the mountain ridge, there were a dozen homes already there, each perfectly situated to be able to see the colors of the sunset reflecting off the river....what an amazing view they must have! And to make it even easier for them, each west facing side of the homes was made almost entirely of glass....obviously, the view was one of the most important reasons for building their homes up there. I spent a couple seconds being slightly jealous, thinking of how I would spend my evenings sitting in a cozy recliner with a good book, looking out over the river.....how wonderful that would be to end each day with a better than life view of the world......then, I started judging the people living in those houses, accusing them of walking by that view many times a day, without pausing to take it in.....running around doing meaningless tasks, consumed with trivial details, completely missing the beauty that is right in front of them......I was sure that many of them probably even keep the curtains drawn, having forgotten that there is even a view out there! Silly people, what a waste......
Well, I'm not sure if you can see it coming, but I was quickly convicted of my judgement and was equally quick to see how similar I sometimes live my life.....although I do have a wonderful sunset view from my mountain, that is not the view that I was reminded of in my conviction......it was more about the beauty the Lord has put right in my surroundings that I sometimes miss.....things I overlook on a daily basis because I get caught up with the meaningless details of life: is my house clean enough?, am I working out enough?, is everyone please with my performance/responsibilities?, etc......all the while, I sometimes miss the beautiful view the Lord has place right in front of me: my children laughing hysterically, the flowers growning along the white fence in the backyard, the note from a friend sticking out of my Bible......how often I overlook things in an effort to make sure everything is 'just right'....silly me...what a waste...

Lord, thank you for something simple like a sunset on a mundane drive out of town...thank you for pulling my eyes to the mountain top, for reminding me of the beautiful 'sunset' views you put in my line of sight every day.....
help me to appreciate them more, help me to pause and reflect, help me draw closer to You because of them.......
help me to open the curtains and drink in the gift of your 'Sonset' every day....

me

A day of accomplishment....so far!!

Well, although I slept in this morning, I still woke up with a sense of excitement to get things done. I haven't really felt that way in a while for some reason....mostly just overwhelmed with the amount of stuff piling up around me. But today, for some reason (thank you, Lord!), I was ready to finally face the pile and start working on it. So already this morning I have tackled laundry, my kitchen floors, bathroom (top to bottom), packing, cooking, and of course the many interruptions that come in the midst.....but I have one of my favorite cds in and I am just going to keep going. I'm even squeezing in some schooling that needs to be done! Go me!!!! (i'm my own personal cheerleader, too!!!)
So, I'm closing up the computer (for the next few hours, at least) and continuing on!!!

......sleeping in (102)
......accomplishments (103)
......reading Bible stories to my children around the breakfast table (104)
......knowing hubby is having a great day at the Braves game with friends and family (105)
......seeing the twins excitement as they show me the HUGE train track they built (106)
.....being 'stranded' at home (107)
.....the smell of furniture polish (108)
.....sweet joy in the midst of great pain (109)
.....obedient children, who were asked to do some school on a Saturday (110)
.....peace in the midst of chaos (111).....all because I have a faithful God who promises to never give me more than I can handle (112)
.....the promise of rest (113)
.....open windows and a cool breeze (114)
.....unexpected friends joining us for lunch (115)
.....having more than enough to feed everyone (116)
.....the smell of hamburgers cooking, even though I can't eat it, it smells good!! (117)

The beautiful day added to my thankfulness....

.......sleeping in with hubby (73)
......the sunshine first thing this morning (74)
......running outside (around the serene pond) instead of on a treadmill (75)
......good music (76)
......finishing my run early enough to sit by the pond and finish a book (77)
.....the knowledge that came as a result of that book (78)
......a quiet prayer that I will be able to apply that knowledge (79)
......a short but sweet visit with the kid's piano teacher, a dear friend of mine (80)
......sitting in the van after pulling in the driveway and listening to an encouraging song (81)
......a hot, quiet shower....and the song still floating through my mind (82)
......enjoying an afternoon of roller skating with my kids and friends (83)
.....girl scout cookies (84)
.....watching Betsy be so excited to get to skate! (85)
.....encouraging words from another mom (86).....and her suggestion about my health (something to research) (87)
.....stopping at a doughnut shop on the way home (88)
.....playing "telephone" while sitting at the counter eating yummy doughnuts (89)
.....many, many things to write in my "laugh" journal (90)
.....discovering new stores (91)....and finding a small gift for a friend (92)......which reminded me to pray for her (93)...God uses the smallest things to do that!!
....an hour long nap (94)
.....chats with hubby while he is on the road headed out of town (95)
.....my little red head's cute smile (96).....and how often I see it every day (97)
.....a quiet evening at home (98)
......God's provision of a big thing, and a little thing (99)
......a messy house, but the contentment in the midst of it (100)
....."everything" bagels! (101)

I am thankful for....

......another day of laughter (61)
......help from a friend to get all my invitations out (62)
......the forgiveness of a friend (63)
.....the flexibility of another friend! (64)
.....strolling through one of my favorite stores (65)
.....chips and salsa (66)
.....spending the afternoon at the park with friends (67)
.....playing basketball with hubby (68)
.....listening to him tell about the funny things the kids did while I was gone (69)
.....watching the twins play so nicely together (70)
.....knowing that as my oldest struggles so often these days, that the Lord is going to use it to make her into a beautiful woman of God (71)
.....12 more boxes packed (72)

Late night drive

Last night I had to pick my husband up from the airport. He had been gone to New Mexico for 10 days, fixing up our 'new' house, getting it ready for us to move into......what a wonderful man!
But it was an hour drive to the airport and I was all alone.....I can't even write down everything I pondered on or all the thoughts I was actually able to finish in my head!!! It's amazing what I can accomplish!
Really though, it was such a sweet time of reflection and fellowship with the Lord....some of it amazing (worship), some of it tearful (confession).....but all so very good for my soul. I should make that drive more often!
So obviously, during that time, I was able to reflect on many things I was thankful for:

......well, first and foremost....silence! (42)

.....being excited to see my hubby again (43)

.....listening to a newly purchased CD (44)

.....being reminded of the faithfulness of God (45)

.....being able to seek restoration (46).....and receiving it! (47)

"Pour your Spirit out on me, fall just like the rain
Saturate my thirsty soul
Fall afresh on me, fill my cup again
Heal my heart and make me whole

I need You now......I need You now
Pour your Spirit out" /SW/ (48)

.....extra moments to sit and read (49)

.....the relief and joy of having hubby home again (50)

.....hearing news from the field (51)

.....making plans for our future (52)

.....a WONDERFUL night's sleep.....i don't think i moved!! (53)

.....quietness in the morning (54)

.....the fresh anticipation of getting in the Word (55)

....good (and long prayed for) news from a friend (56)

.....anticipated (and much needed) alone time this afternoon (57)

.....knowing that all the many things I have to accomplish, even this morning, have already been prepared ahead of time by my loving Father (58)

.....the tears that come now, just thinking about His goodness and protection over me (59)

.....the much needed long, hot shower I am about to take!!!! (60)

Thank you God, for your many, many gifts throughout my days and nights. Help me to continually be excited about discovering them, and equally excited to give You the praise in return for each one.

More old stuff......

Here are a couple more entries from the old blog......

Hold them a little longer (March 2007)

This morning I attended my MOPs meeting. I really didn't want to go because my day was so full and I was really going to be rushed if I went....but I was on the schedule to speak so I needed to be there. I spoke on how to take better pictures and how to preserve memories. I was just going to sit through the first speaker, do my part and then head out. Well, I did that, but in all of it, I found such a blessing......the lady who spoke talked about cherishing the different stages our children go through and our time with them....about "holding them a little longer". It was a wonderful reminder of what an impact I am making on my children each day and how vital I am in the molding of their tiny lives......how my reactions to them, to their accomplishments and mistakes, and to their needs effect who they are.....am I really nurturing my children, meeting the needs that I can meet, am I teaching them all the things they need to know....not just out of books, but the things they need to know about life and about God and who He is. It was a good reminder of the important role God has given us as mothers.....a lot to think about!
So, I am glad I went to the meeting this am.....glad the Lord slowed me down enough to hear a word from Him......even after that challenging topic, I was able to present my information on taking pictures without too much studdering! I even got some business out of the whole ordeal!

the Lord is good in ALL things!

Abby (a little over a year old).....black and white with hint of color added :)
I miss those chubby cheeks!

ALL things.....(March 2007)

I've had a lot on my mind lately....homeschool testing, speaking engagements, counseling opportunities, etc......but one thing that has been coming to the forefront of my mind often over the past week or so is something a little out of the ordinary....I've been thinking about the 'pain' of our Savior. I know, not the most relaxing, restful thoughts, but it keeps creeping into my thoughts throughout the day lately.....I'll explain.....

My relationship with my dad was very strained growing up and under his authority, I experienced both physical and emotional pain. Now I am very quick (and blessed) to say that I have dealt with and moved past a lot of that pain and have even been able to be thankful for it and actually use it for my ministry. But it doesn't mean that I'm never reminded of it or that I don't revisit it every now and then....not to the point where it alters my daily life or reverses any progress I've made....but just enough to make me reflect on things.
Lately, I have been in contact with my dad more than the 2-3 times a year that normally exist in a calander year and as a result of our conversations, I have had to, in my own mind, revisit my childhood and some of the pain experienced there. It's not a place that anyone can really go with me, since by my own choice, I've choosen to keep most of those years to myself. So it may not be evident to anyone, even those closest to me, that I'm even struggling with it......that includes my dear, precious children. They have no idea of my past pain or how it pops up every now and then.....therefore, they have no hesitations with bringing their daily 'pains' and hurts and piling them on my lap. On a good day, I can take whatever they dish out and whatever stuggles and hurts they are having are no problem for me. I listen, hold them, give advice and answers, etc....I allow them to openly and with no guilt or difficulty dump their pains on me.....a part of my job that is sometimes draining, but always a blessing. And after they have come, dumped, and cried all over me, they just get up, wipe their eyes and return to their world of Barbies and Legos.....it's actually a remarkable process to witness! But lately, my 'pain' tolerance has been lower and I'm finding it more exhausting to give audience to the very daily tattlings and injustices that are occuring in their tiny lives....each time one of them comes and, without giving a second thought to what I'm doing at the moment, or much less what I'm feeling at the moment, decides to unload the most recent 'pain' inflicted upon them I become more and more overwhelmed.....all because of a few extra conversations with my dad.......sounds silly doesn't it? Sounds silly to actually write it! It's hard for me to actually acknowledge that my children's simple hurts and struggles are becoming too much for me right now.....but in this difficult and even embarrassing place, the Lord has reminded me of something much bigger than my own weaknesses and shortcomings.....I've been reminded of HIS strength and amazing endurance and pain tolerance. Not only did He experience the most brutal and agonizing physical pain here on earth, literally taking on the sins of the world, but He continues to daily invite us to bring our hurts and pains to Him, big or small......He welcomes them. He not only listens, comforts us, and imparts wisdom, but He goes a step further and actually takes our pain as His very own, promising to give us real relief and literal peace. What a comfort and what a relief, that I have a safe place to go and place MY pains on HIS lap.....allow Him to comfort and advise me about my 'tattlings and injustices'....He allows me to come, dump, and cry until I feel all better...then I get up and return to my own world.
I've been reminded, by my own exhaustion and low tolerance, to be evermore thankful for His strength and love for me.....I don't thank Him enough for the pain He endured for ME on the cross and the hurt I sometimes bring to Him, whether by choice, or by my own sin. Thank you Lord, for your 'perfectness' in all things......and for your promise to work "all" things (my pains, my past, my children's hurts, etc) for your good......
me


Me with my sister Lindy (left), Alison (right) and my dad (june 2005)


And then here are a few more things I found to be thankful for.....although today was a little tougher because of pure exhaustion!! :)

........sleeping in late (31)

.....being healthy and available to help a friend unload his Pepperidge Farm truck (32)
......and he showed his thankfulness by providing enough bread to last a month!! (33)

.....text messages that brought laughter in the middle of me being completely overwhelmed by boxes, showing God really desires me to laugh in the middle of 'busyness' (34)

.....unexpected help with writing invitations, exactly when i needed it (35)

......sitting on the front porch with family and friends on this incredibly beautiful day (36)

.....watching my youngest go around and water all the plants in the front yard (37)
.....and watching her wonder and amazement as she caught an ant on a blade of grass (38)

.....the opportunity to show patience (39)

.....phone call from hubby saying he is almost home!! (40)

....the fun of experimenting with a new kind of reeses candy with a friend...yum! (41)

Old blogs

I really do enjoy blogging here, I just wish I could do it more often. And although my blogs often read simple and elementary, this is not my first blog page....I started blogging about a year ago on another site. I stopped because of life probably....things got too busy, hectic, chaotic....I put it aside for about a year. And although life hasn't at all slowed down, I decided to start again, this time landing here, along with many friends (i'm finding more and more everyday who blog here...very cool!). And before, only a couple people knew about my blog.....now, I have several say they have stopped by to read my "ramblings" (my word, not theirs!).
Well, this morning I decided to go and close down my other site, since it's not being used anymore...but before doing so, I thought I would transfer a few over here....as a time of reflection for me and something new for anyone who passes by here. It's been interesting to go back and see where I was a year ago......in some ways I was in a very different place, surrounded by different people, involved in different things, etc....but in other ways, it was a very similar place.....a place of learning, a place of growth....and God was using circumstances, people and His Word to do that back then, just as He is using those things to teach me and grow me now.

From the mouths of babes.....(Jan 2007)

ok, I came home from swimming lessons in a self-absorbed, self-centered mood. My legs were hurting more than usual....couldn't even work out because of it. Sometimes the pain makes me grouchy and lacking sympathy for those around me.
So we get home, I reheat the dinner I fixed before we left, put the kids at the table and fall into the recliner, not even desiring to eat or be in the presence of tired kids......
they start to dig into their mac and cheese, then Abby announces that "mommy' forgot to pray....great!....something else I failed at tonight...yippee! I told her to go ahead and pray, which she very willingly did:
"dear Jesus,
thank you for this food mommy made, help it to make us strong (the usual beginning).....please help mommy not to have hurts anymore, no more headaches and leg hurts.....and please help the people who don't have any homes tonight to find a warm place to sleep.....help the people who are sick to get better.....help the people who are by themselves to find friends......thank you for dying on the cross for us....amen"

In that 20 second prayer, I was completely convicted of my selfish attitude and lack of compassion for others.....pretty disgusted that my biggest worry was a missed workout and some slightly annoying aches and pains. the windchill will be in single digits tonight and there will be people trying to sleep in that.....

....out of the mouths of babes......

thank you Lord for the sensitive heart of a 7 year old, not yet as tainted with the selfishness that I fight with every day......lesson learned :)

specifics (jan 2007)

I know how frustrated I get when people do not say exactly what they mean....when they aren't specific in letting me know exactly what they need...frustrating.

Well, I realized yesterday, that I am very hypocrytical when it comes to that.....

I was coming home last night from a SL party and realized that the road going up my mountain was very icy......I just threw up a vague prayer to God..."God, help me get up my mountain"....Well, about a quarter the way up the hill, I realized that my van (carrying myself and my 7 year old) was not going to make it. So again, I said another prayer which lacked details, expressing my desire to get home....."God, please help us to get home safe and sound".

As we slid down the hill backwards, others were coming up behind me causing things to get backed up....I continued to pray out loud, asking God to simply help us.

When I made it back to the bottom and realized that Abby and I were going to have to hike the almost mile long road home in the almost 0 degree weather, I felt a prayer come from deep down somewhere, asking God to please send someone to help us, someone to know our dilemma. As I was arranging to leave my van at the end of the road, neighbors of ours pulled up and asked if we needed help getting up the hill (they were in the group of cars that had to back up to let me down).....I graciously accepted the ride and we began our drive up the icy hill. About 1/2 way up we started to lose traction and were no longer moving forward.....again, I prayed specifically for someone to help......I looked out the window and saw my husband beside the car....he was on his way down the mountain to meet us and walk up with us. With his and my help (and the kitty litter the neighbors carried in their trunk) we made it up the hill to their house and then walked the rest of the way home. As I sat in my mil's living room, trying to get feeling in my fingers again, I realized how vague I had been with my need before God.....and how quickly He responded when I simply spoke in detail.

It's a lesson learned about really making our needs known.....and as much as I trust God, I still find it tough to be open and transparent when it comes to my needs. But how faithful He is to meet every need, to respond without hesitation when we are in crisis, to not be judgemental about WHY we are in need, just to simply come.

It is my desire to be more open with God, but also in my relationships here....in my friendships, with my family, etc. That's a tough one, but I'm willing to give it a try!

(see B, I was struggling with it WAAAAAYYYYYY back then too!!.....ongoing!!!!.....ugh!!!)