Recently my girls and I flew home (GA) to visit family. It was their first time flying and it was my first time flying with someone in a long time....usually I fly alone. So when the stewardess did the 'safety' demonstration, it set differently with me. Usually my eyes kinda glaze over and I don't really listen...I've heard it so many times. But this time, I thought about it differently...it wasnt' just 'me' this time.

When she got to the part about the oxygen mask, something struck me differently there as well. I know most of you have flown and heard it many times....she said, "put your own mask on first, before helping someone with theirs". I know I have heard that before, but when I'm sitting there next to my little girls, it became a little more real to me as I briefly imagined really having to do that. If I were really in a crisis like that, would I be able to stop and put mine on first? I know my "mother" instinct would kick in and I would want to make sure they had theirs on....it's the natural way. But in reality, it would probably lead to failure. I would truly need to take care of myself first before I could attend to them.

Now, I'm not saying I am this selfless, righteous person....no way! On a daily basis I am selfish, even with my own family....which is a shame to admit. But when it came to life or death, I think I would be able to, without a second thought, sacrifice for them.
Then why don't I do it as a first thought in the home? Why do I daily put my own needs above the needs of others? Just tonight my son asked if I would come tuck him in...my response, although said lovingly, was, "not tonight, Mommy has a headache". Now it wasn't a life or death situation, but it was something that was still important to him....just not important enough to me. I can be a pretty pathetic parent sometimes!

But aside from that conviction, I realized something else on the plane that day.....about my ministries....that is contrary to what I want to do. I need to make sure that I am "ok" spiritually before I can get out there and help others in that area. And again, not to say that I am a selfless person....I'm not! But when it comes to ministry opportunities, I tend to just jump in and do it, regardless of where I am that day spiritually. I often jump in and try to deal with it in my own strength instead of seeking His.....and that only leads to spiritual and physical fatigue....which is where I am today.
I am extremely proud (another one of my charming characteristics!) and I hate to even write that here (glad I have a small following on this blog!)...but spiritually and physically exhausted is where I am right now. And I've decided I dont' like it! I'm wasting so much energy daily trying to get myself going and motivated and in a forward motion, that I think I am failing others because of it. I have a feeling that is why several areas of my life are starting to show the stress and strain that comes as a result of that fatigue.
Although in many ways things seem to be thriving (my Bible studies, my one-on-one times with ladies, my own expansion of knowledge of the Word, etc)....I feel myself slowly sinking. I have GOT to put my own oxygen mask on first before I can truly deal with the needs of others. How wise that little stewardess is!

So I am going to take some time for myself. And although I can't physically leave here and go be by myself somewhere and deal with it, I am going to try and take some 'small' breaks and get some things dealt with. I think then, I will be better equipped to help others with their masks.