Spent some time reading about Abraham this morning....I'm challenged and convicted as a result.

"Abraham believed God, and it was counted unto him for righteousness" (Romans 4:3b)

I've read that statement many times and always thought, 'wow, what an honor to be mentioned in the Bible because of your faithfulness'. The story of Abraham has always been one that teaches us of a great, faithful trust in God.....one that I just seem to read about, but never really grasp the concept that "I" can have that kind of faith....it almost seems 'fairy-tale' like at times: a man who spoke with God, who was chosen by Him, witnessed a miracle, was willing to sacrifice his son, etc.

But this morning I read about this 'faraway-like' faith and was challenged by it instead of just impressed by it.....

"(Abraham) Who against hope believed in hope, that he might become the father of many nations, according to that which was spoken, So shall thy seed be.
And being not weak in faith, he considered not his own body now dead, when he was about a hundred years old, neither at the deadness of Sarah's womb. He staggered not at the promise of God through unbelief, but was strong in faith, giving glory to God, and being fully persuaded that, what he had promised, he was able also to perform. And therefore it was imputed to him for righteousness." Romans 4:18-22

Abraham wasn't just born with this gift of amazing faith....there were many things he DID in this process of living by faith.....he believed, he was not weak, he considered, he staggered not (my favorite one!!), he was strong in faith, gave glory to God, and was fully persuaded.....that's quite the list! Living a life defined by faith is not easy....it required work. And it's also not JUST for the heroes of the Bible...it's available to us...today.....

"Now it was not written for his sake alone, that it was imputed to him, But for us also, to whom it shall be imputed, if we believe on him that raised up Jesus, our Lord, from the dead;
Who was delivered for our offenses, and was raised again for our justification." Romans 4:23-25

We have the opportunity to live a life defined by great faith.....it's not just a fairytale faith. It's real, it's required, and it's available.

I make a 'to do' list almost every day....I have to, to keep up with all that needs to be accomplished. Today, I still have a list to make....I need to do laundry, pack, finish up some Christmas gifts, exercise, etc....but today, I am also adding a few more things to it.....
...believe in the promises of God
...consider who HE is, not who I am
...stagger NOT at His promises
....but instead give glory to Him
....and live a life fully persuaded in the power and goodness of my God!!

"For all have sinned and come short of the glory of God..."
Almost all of us have memorized this verse.
We use it at camp all the time......I've used it when I present the Gospel.....my kids memorize it at Awana......we all know it.
But like so many other verses, we pull it out of the chapter, memorize it, and seldom ever think about where it came from again. It is powerful enough to stand on it's own.....I've personally seen it open wide the eyes of a lost person as they finally realize all their efforts have been in vain....it's a life changing verse.....
But what about the 'good news' that comes after that verse? Few people seem to mention that....including me. But as I was reading through chapter 3 of Romans, taking in all that Paul was saying about faith and the law, about our position and our righteousness (or lack of..."there is none righteous, no not one!"), I came across the familiar verse, reminding me that we all fall short of His glory. I was reminded that "His glory" is what we should be aiming for....not praise from man, not rest from work, not the "right thing", not even our own satisfaction.....but our goal, our aim should be to glorify God!
But there is a comma after the phrase '...come short of the glory of God,'......that means there's more.....
"being justified freely by his grace through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus, whom God has set forth to be a propitiation through faith in his blood, to declare his righteousness for the remission of sins that are past, through the forbearance of God;"
That is good news....that's the hope. That we have been FREELY justified through Christ...the gift from God....so that we might declare His glory! (that's my "nutshell" version....there is SOOO much stuff in this verse...take the time to study it word by word...it's worth it!!!)
Our goal is to glorify God.....AIM for that daily....let all the other stuff fall away. If I could only truly grasp this and live it out in my life.....wow.....

THANKSGIVING

We were blessed with several Thanksgiving gatherings this season....part of having a divided family. But it was good and I'm thankful for my diverse family....

Mom is always helping in the kitchen...even when it's not her kitchen!






We had more than enough food....a big spread and there were over 20 people around to eat it and no one left hungry!
Turkey, ham, sweet potato casserole, macaroni and cheese, broccoli salad, broccoli casserole, dressing and gravy, rolls, strawberry jello salad, rolls and more.

My plate was empty!!!!






I spent a lot of time outside (it was a very warm, 70 degree, November day!) making crafts with the kiddos.




We made "thankful" placemats.....we all wrote down, on colorful leaves, the things we thankful for....it was fun (and funny) to see what some of the kids wrote down......















I am thankful for my family and the little time I'm able to spend with them. We are separated my many, many miles, but that doesn't seem to hinder our "fellowship" when we do finally manage to meet under the same roof!!!

Because our times together are so far and few between, I cherish them all the more.

We have been able to visit with many family and friends during this cross country trip........
me and my bestie........
our beautiful host family (and super dear friends), the Queens.....
...a crazy couple of days with the Hearns.....
....then down to Georgia,
my Dad and Grandmother Hyde........
....lots of fun cousins.......and of course, Mimi and Pop!!We are so blessed!

6 weeks, almost 5000 miles, and 16 different states.....that's the title of my life right now. We are wrapping up a very long trip back east, visiting family, friends and supporters. It's been a good trip and we have shared many meals and late nights catching up with friends and family.
Mostly it's been encouraging....there have been a few that really want to hear about our ministry, our struggles, our victories, the people that we minister to, etc.....but mostly they just want to chit chat, catch up on family news. That's good, too.

I'm enjoying my time away, but at the same time, my heart longs to be back home knee deep in my ministry. That's a good sign, if I miss my work, right? I miss pouring over my Bible in preparation for a lesson....I miss hearing the neighbors chopping wood.....I miss the wind that always blows in from the west.....I miss the smell of the barn.....I miss the little neighbor boy pressing his face against my the glass on the front door, peeking in to see if Peter is home and can come out to play.....I miss my Ft Wingate girls.....I miss working in the lodge kitchen with Nanette and our long, deep spiritual discussions....I miss going for a run through the pine trees....I miss the amazing sunsets....I miss home.

But for now I will enjoy my time away, try and get some rest, focus on family, and prepare myself for the busy year that lays ahead of me.

It's been non-stop for the past 3 days.....literally. This is the first time I've really sat down, with my cup of tea, and just relax.
Being busy has been good to keep me busy and moving, but I do love my times where I can just sit and rest.

I enjoy that we have a late service at our church....Sunday mornings are always relaxing and slow. Everyone sleeps in and then just roll out into the living room to watch cartoons. It's our only morning to do that. The wood stove would be a nice addition to this morning....it's cold!!

I haven't been to church in 3 weeks. (mixture of sickness and traveling)....it will be nice to get back and see my church family. And it will help to find that "normal" feeling I've been missing for a while now. It's been weeks since I've had a normal week of school, ministry, church, eating, etc. I really, really, hope this is the week where my productivity returns. I miss my routine and those feelings of accomplishment.

I can even start today....after our cartoons :)

Well, it's been exactly 3 months since I have been here. I was just reading over the last few entries and I remembered why I stopped.......I hit the wall....physically and emotionally. I remember that time in the summer and all of a sudden I was just 'done'....exhausted. And I never seemed to bounce back. I went from tired, to exhausted, completely dead. I am just now starting to pick myself back up. It was a rough summer and it left me more tired than usual. I think the spiritual battle was more intense this summer....but in the end, the Lord was victorious and many, MANY children left here with the promise of eternal life.

The fall schedule started up right away, with little time to rest. We started school the very next Monday and our fall ministries started just a week or so after. The Lord has given us a bountiful ministry here, and the opportunities are endless....almost overwhelming at times. The work here will never be complete....there are always people in need, both physically and spiritually. Therefore, the need for me and the other missionaries here to be in top shape physically and spiritually is crucial. If I miss the opportunity to help someone gather their wood for the winter, I may have missed an even bigger opportunity to meet their spiritual need down the road. And obviously, if I'm not spiritually equipped to meet their spiritual need, the outcome is devastating.

I am currently failing in both areas.

I have had some health problems that have left me unable to do some of the things I need to. I am even supposed to be training for a half marathon but I am no where near ready. It's disappointing and sad.

I have also had some 'spiritual' problems that have left me in a place of discouragement and sadness....and as I look around at the people in my life that need encouragement and guidance, I find myself lacking and unable to help. Again, disappointing and sad....

But I know whom I have believed in, and He is able......

So I suppose there is hope....... :)

Week 5, Wednesday

Wednesdays are late....it's Mission Impossible night. We stay up late and play a "catch me" game in the dark. I love it and hate it. I love it because I always go out with my camp bffs and we laugh til we cry....I hate it because I lose so much sleep on these nights. But in the end, it's all worth it. The campers LOVE it!

It's the little things like Mission Impossible that can break down the walls that these campers sometimes have. Just the simple act of "busting" them and then tying them up can close that gap. Funny, the things God can use to draw people closer together and eventually closer to Him.

Thank you Lord, for this ministry and all the different aspects of it....from the chapels, the family style meals, to the late night games. May our efforts bring forth a bountiful harvest....and may we give all the glory back to You.

Week 5, Tuesday

Another Tuesday come and gone.....cabin pictures, activity classes, grilled hamburgers, water fight and snack shop....all were a success and the campers are enjoying themselves. There are a few that are homesick, but they are hanging in there. It was really hot today, but about an hour before the water fight it cooled down quite a bit....it was the COLDEST waterfight EVER! Being cold is one of the things I hate the most....ugh! But once it was over, I realized what a blessing it was, as I saw the smiles on the faces of all the kids....I was still cold, but my heart was warm :)

The rain clouds are moving in and the wind is picking up....praying for rain tonight....we need it. Looking forward to God "raining" down blessings on us this week. We are all weary and tired, but expectant....excited to see what God is going to do this week.

Week 5, Monday

This has been our smallest camp so far....we barely have 100 campers....and then to top it off, the girls outnumber the boys 80 to 20. Where are all the boys this week?

Our work team is small too....we have 11 people from NJ here this week....but they seem willing and eager to work. They all seem to really want to get involved....that is my prayer, at least. It is often like pulling teeth to get people to get involved and step out of their comfort zone. Praying this week will show something different.

We are praying for a bountiful harvest despite the small numbers....it could be a blessing to our tired staff....fewer campers but more opportunities for one on one time with them. Praying that the Lord will bless us all with the smaller numbers and slightly lighter load.

Week 4, Saturday

Just wanted to give a 'numbers' update on the summer so far.....

After 4 weeks of camp, we have had close to 45 kids accept Christ as their Savior....many more made decisions to take their walk with the Lord more seriously and seek Him daily. Please pray for these kids...many go back to very difficult situations. We've already had one mom call the camp angry and hostile because her daughter chose to accept Christ as her Savior....that young girl will most likely be shunned by her family because of her decision. That is not uncommon here. So please remember these children in prayer....that they will find Christian support and be able to stand firm in the face of persecution and difficulties.

We have 4 more weeks of camp.....looking forward to seeing what God is going to do the 2nd half of the summer!

Week 4, Friday

It's been another good week of camp....good group of kids....many made decisions for Christ. The campfire was testimony to that...lots of kids stood and shared their desire to follow God more closely. Makes all the long days worth it.

We had 2 workteams this week...both from CA. They were a big help, filling in all the gaps.

Lori was one of the ladies on one of the workteams.....neat lady, hard worker, loves the campers, loves the Lord even more. I have really enjoyed getting to know her this week. There is something else about Lori that is neat....she's the sister of one of my dearest friends....a friend I miss lots. As soon as I saw Lori, I knew she was Becky's sister....they have the same stance, the same smile, the same laugh. Although there are many differences in these two siblings, there are still those similarities. When I see Lori, I can't help but think of Becky. It makes me miss her, makes me think about the sweet times of fellowship we have shared, makes me wish she were here too.

I wonder what I remind people of.....

One counselor here says I remind her of her mom (and btw, that's a compliment...she thinks her mom is the best!).....someone else says I remind them of their "crazy" aunt back east somewhere. I guess I'm ok with all that.....
But we are called to be examples of Christ....to live a life that resembles his....a holy life. Our life should remind others of Christ....His love, His mercy, His patience, His forgiveness.....people should see those characteristics of Christ in our life. We should resemble our Savior.

I'm convicted. I know I don't always (I dare say I SELDOM) remind others of Christ. My flesh is daily (hourly) getting in the way. Even though it's my 'profession' to resemble Christ, I daily fail.

Bur thankfully His mercies are new every morning, and although I messed up many times this week....with campers and with staff.....I am confident in His forgiveness and His promise to use us despite our many flaws.

Like I said, I have greatly enjoyed getting to know Lori this week....even tonight I had another great conversation with her. She has been a blessing and a sweet reminder of my far away friend, Becky. And funny, she told ME that I remind HER of Becky....

I'm ok with that.... :)

Week 4, Tuesday

Well, week 4 has begun. We are back to jr campers (8 -12 yrs old) and the 'silliness' is back. I like jr camp.....they enjoy it when you dance, sing funny, tickle them, etc....they LOVE silly!

Today in chapel, the speaker taught his lesson in a 'silly' way. He was telling the story of Jonah and the whale. First he and his team sang a song they wrote about Jonah.....then he told the story, in a lively way. THEN, he wanted the campers to get an idea of what it would be like to be in the belly of a whale. So he brought in a HUGE black trash bag (it was taller than me)....he filled it with 'slime' (mixture of glue, borax, and other stuff), several cans of sardines, and topped it off with a few cans of tuna fish. It was DISGUSTING! And I have an easy gag reflex! And to make the whole thing even more disgusting, they added a camper to the bag and "shook" him around....and campers actually volunteered to do it!!!

So, needless to say, they emerged from the bag covered in nastiness and smelling awful. It was quite the picture. I think the kids got the idea and realized that the 3 day ride Jonah got in the belly of the big fish was not exactly pleasant.

But the one thing that really stuck out to me is the smell....it was pretty bad. And it made me think about what our sin must "smell" like to God. It's said that our sacrifice and obedience is a sweet fragrance to Him....our sin must be the opposite. That demonstration in chapel made it very real to me. As the smell permeated the chapel, the thought of the 'stench' of my disobedience and rebellion against God was convicting.....powerful picture.

My prayer throughout the day was that I would be a sweet fragrance to my Savior....even in the little things....like not getting upset when a kid spilled their drink on me.....giving up my bucket at the waterfight when a camper asked for it (I REALLY wanted to keep it and get some people wet!).....willingly being a mediator for a dispute when all I really wanted to do was go to bed....I pray through all of it the Lord was pleased and the fragrance of obedience and sacrifice was a sweet smell to Him.

The End of Week 3

The week is finally over....this one seemed longer and more tiring. I am SOOOOO enjoying our lazy weekend....I got lots of sleep, got caught up on housework, and spent time away with the family. Looking forward to a night at home :)

From what I can tell, we had about 20 kids make decisions for Christ. I don't know how many were salvation decisions and how many were rededications, but I am thankful for the changes made because of the love of Christ.

One thing that was stressed in the chapels this week was about making a choice concerning God. The speakers spoke mostly to the kids that were 'straddling the fence', as he put it. He challenged them to make a choice....you are either for God or against God. I agree that we need to make a stand for our beliefs....it was a good challenge. But my opinion is that there really is no fence....we are either for God or against Him...no in between. When we choose NOT to follow Christ, we are making a stand against Him. There really is no 'neutral' in this area.

I saw many kids making choices this week. As our worship team played songs, I saw several teens in the back, snickering, making fun of the people on stage singing, laughing at the motions to the song....in my mind I saw a direct and blatant choice being made. They were making a stand against God. In the same room, on the other side, I saw a young girl who I've known all her life singing praises to the Lord, hand lifted high, eyes closed.....her choice was easy to see too. She loved her Lord, loved worshiping Him and was having an intimate moment with Him at that time.....her choice was for God.

I know lots of kids left this week without making a choice to follow God....they left knowing the consequences of their decision...knowing they are choosing death over life. That breaks my heart. Every week I have to watch kids leave, knowing I may never see them again....not knowing if they will one day turn their hearts to God and choose Him. That is hard. But like I said in an earlier blog, we have to be content with possibly just planting the seed....not knowing if there will be a harvest later. We all want to be the ones that bring in the harvest....to see the bountiful fruit of our labors. But it's not always the case....in fact, it's usually the exception.

This week I am feeling the discouragement of it all....seeing more kids leave 'rejecting' God than those that accepted Him. But the Lord is slowly bringing comfort and peace to my heart...reminding me that he is faithful and His Word is truth. That is where I am trying to rest this weekend.

This ministry is amazing and I wouldn't trade it for anything.....the privilege to be able to daily and openly give the Gospel and teach the Word is amazing. But it's not always easy....and it's often exhausting. I'm so thankful that I have a God that meets all my needs and fills in the 'gaps' for me. There is rest in Him!!!

Week 3, day 4

I didn't get to blog yesterday....I was still sick, down with a stomach flu....went to bed early.

But it's been a good couple days despite my setback of illness. The teens here this week seemed to be really enjoying themselves. There have been a couple incidents with behavior issues, but overall, it's been a productive and fruitful week. The Lord is definitely working in lives here and it's so awesome to be a part of it all, to witness it firsthand.

After skits tonight, several kids stayed behind to talk to counselors and staff.....I sat in the back, praying, watching.....i could feel the heaviness of the issues that these kids carry....the room seemed heavy. But by the end, as the campers slowly left the chapel, I could feel the air grow lighter.....I knew many of them were walking out "new creatures". It was wonderful to see the change.

Even as I type this, everyone is at the campfire (I'm home because Wes wanted to go, so I'm home w/ the kids)....they are sharing about the changes that have occured in their lives this week....and although I'm not there to hear them share, I know the Lord is being honored by their words and their testimony.

Thank you Lord for the power of your Word, and how it changes lives.....
Amen

Week 3, day 2

I'm sick today.

Up all night with some kind of stomach bug.

I'm too busy to be sick....

at least that's my opinion....

guess God has a different opinion.

Although I was still 'around' all day and was mostly involved, I was not really 'into' it. But, even from a somewhat outsider perspective, I can see the week is going well so far. We have a pretty good group of campers. There have been a couple of small incidents, but overall, they seem excited to be here and interested to learn the things of God.

I'm home tonight, missing chapel, free time and the concert scheduled for later tonight. I don't really see the point in it, but for some reason it's where God wants me....I won't fight it, I'll just submit to it and wait for it to pass. Guess I should be thankful for the slower pace, right? I'll keep reminding myself of that, even while I can hear the massive rock concert going on in the chapel....breathe in, breathe out.....

Tomorrow is a new day.

Week 3, day 1

Well, it's the beginning of the third week of camp....120 campers! It's teen camp and that always brings a different dynamic....different set of issues. But I think we are ready, equipped to face the issues that will come up, ready to bring Christ to these kids.
Teen camp is also different in other ways.....more basketball and volleyball, later nights, more 'in depth' chapels.....so in some ways, teen week is more tiring than other weeks. I know for myself, I am going to have to seek the Lord's strength and endurance....I can already feel it and it's only the first day! But thankfully, we serve a God with an endless supply of all that we need.....it's a bottomless resource....we just need to come to Him, ready to receive...confident that He will meet those needs. I am there today....knowing that i am coming to the end of my strength, endurance, wisdom, even patience....

It's going to be a good week....I'm looking forward to all that God is going to do in the lives of these camper....and in MY life, too!!! :)

Week 2, day 5

Week 2 is just a few hours from 'officially' being over.....by the end of breakfast tomorrow all the campers will be on their way home. Some of them will still "smell" of camp (those who chose NOT to take a shower all week)...some will still be singing worship songs,.....some will tell their parents about the cool "treasure hunt" we went on this week....some will show off the awards they won. Many are going home as new creatures, having accepted Christ as their Savior...praise the Lord! But my prayer is that ALL will be going home with something just as special....a deeper knowledge of God and a better understanding of His Word. I am realistic that not everyone will make a decision to accept Christ...that would be wonderful, but it doesn't usually happen. But hopefully those that did not chose to give their life to Christ, will at least go home with a better understanding of who He is and how much He loves them. We don't always get to see the "fruit" of our labor, sometimes we are just the beginning, the planting of the seed....sometimes we are just doing the watering.....and although the final product is not often seen in those steps, they are still very important. There is great patience needed in this ministry....that has taken me a while to learn. I want to see fruit right away....I used to be troubled when I would see kids leave here having NOT made a decision for Christ. But I have come to a place of peace with it...knowing that it is often a process....and I have learned to find joy in being a part of that process. The planting and the watering are just as important as being there for the harvest. What a privilege to have ANY part in presenting the Gospel!

Lord, help us not take for granted our part in Your work here....thank You for the many kids who did make the decision to give their life to You....thank You for allowing us to witness lives being changed...and thank You for allowing us the opportunity to plant seeds and water them....please don't tarry in bringing about the finished product....a life surrendered to You! Amen

Week 2, day 4

"I've heard the name Jesus, but I didn't know who He was....I've never heard of any of the people in the Bible....and I have never been a church or a chapel."
That was the testimony of one of the campers tonight at the campfire....an 11 year old girl, who before this week knew nothing about the Bible, about the love of Christ and about the mercy of a Heavenly Father. She had never heard of sin, as described through the Word, and of course, had never heard of forgivness and redemption.

When I hear a testimony like that, it makes me even more grateful and appreciative of the ministry here at BABR. It's almost hard to believe that anyone living in this country could actually make it this long without really hearing anything more than the name of Jesus. But it is a very common occurance out here....and thankfully Broken Arrow Bible Ranch is able to be light in a dark world, to be salt, to be a city on a hill.

There were many testimonies tonight....so many kids standing and saying that for the first time, they finally understood the Gospel and what Christ did on the cross for them....they finally saw the depths of their sin and their need for a Savior. God is so good....and He is so faithful to give us such a wonderful staff....a staff that desires to see these campers give their life to the Lord...staff that are careful to study the Word so that they can better pass on the knowledge to the kids that come across their path.
I spent time in prayer with one of the staff today, and to hear her desire to clearly and effectively present the Gospel was such a blessing to me.

Thank you Lord, for such a wonderful group of believers....thank you for opening the eyes and hearts of the campers....thank you for the power of the Word....and most of all, thank you for the sacrifice you made so we could be here today with Good News to tell these campers.

Week 2, Day 3

Another Wednesday has come and gone.

The highlight of the day (night) for the campers on this day is always Mission Impossible...they LOVE that game. And thankfully there were not many injuries (just one girl that fell into a cactus). The kids love the excitement of playing in the woods at night....they don't even mind being tied up....it's all about the staying up late and playing in the dark.

That's the campers highlight of the day....mine is what happened tonight after chapel, when about a dozen kids stayed behind after the message to talk with their counselors. I don't know what happened with each kid, if they accepted Christ or not, but I do know that no matter what, walls were broken down tonight and they stepped a little closer toward the open arms of a loving Savior. They had questions, concerns, hurts and needs.....and thankfully, our staff, through the Word of God, could help with those issues.

It has been a good week so far....not too many problems.....and there has been much "breaking through" with a lot of the campers. I sat in staff meeting and heard the counselors share the burdens of their cabins....and when I saw some of those campers stay behind tonight, it was such a moment of praise to my God.
Thank you Lord for your faithfulness to use your Word and these counselors and wranglers to meet the many needs of the campers here.....we look forward to seeing what the rest of the week holds for us!

Week 2, day 2

Tuesdays are my busiest day....I won't go into the long list, but it's non-stop. My only 'sit' time is my drive to town to get the pictures developed. I have 25 minutes where I just drive....I go alone (on purpose) and I crank the music up.....just me and God, driving down the road. Although it's a quick, hectic trip, I do enjoy it. Just my few minutes to get away....no one calling my name, no one asking questions, no dancing and having to be silly....just the 'quiet' me. I don't see that 'me' very often in the summer.
Today's drive was exceptionally good....just what I needed. I put in my favorite cd and just sang (although I don't 'sing', it's more of a 'make a joyful NOISE to the Lord' kinda thing!). It was a good time with my Savior. Sometimes I feel like I spend so much time praying (praying for staff, praying for campers, praying WITH staff and campers) that I seldom get the time to just sing with my Savior....I almost feel like I am out of 'words' lately so it was nice to just not have to think of what to say next....just sing.
And tonight the music in chapel was good....although I wasn't alone in my van, it was still a sweet time of worship.....although I was surrounded by almost 200 other people, it still felt like just me and my Savior.
It was a good reminder to me that although I often feel like I NEED my alone time, that I NEED to get away...I really don't. God is faithful to give me exactly what I need.....if I need those sweet moments of fellowship with Him, I can have it anywhere....in my van, walking to the snack shop, stolen moments of prayer, and even in a crowded room of rowdy kids!
Thank you Lord for all that you give to me....for ALL my moments....and for reminding me of your promise to always draw me close.

Week 2, day 1

Well, another week of camp has begun.....it's off to a good start. Every week is different.....different workteam, different campers, some different staff, different dynamics....but thankfully we have the same God. We have access to the same strength, the same wisdom, the same peace....consistency is good in this ministry that is ever changing in all other aspects. There is comfort in serving a 'constant' God.

We have just a few more campers this week than we had last week.....we ended up with about 121. I'm looking forward to another fruitful week of camp. We have spent the day playing carnival games, singing songs, watching skits, eating spaghetti, playing red light/green light, chasing campers through the woods, listening to great teaching and enjoying some free time together....all in attempts to get to know the campers better. So far so good :)

Please continue to pray for us this week....we have many, many opportunities ahead of us...pray we do not miss a single one!

This is Afton (middle)....she has been coming here since she was 8 years old...she FINALLY was voted camper of the week. I will never forget her face when we announced her name....this very smile stayed plastered across her face the rest of the night.....she was beautiful!!!! :)

Uncondiitional love

NOW, camp is officially over.....breakfast has been served, the campers are gone, the workteam just pulled away headed for home, and the camp is clean. There is a good feeling knowing that a particular task is completed. Although we have an 8 week "task" before us, week one is done and with great success....no real complaints, only words of thanksgiving to a faithful and loving God.
I witnessed something today that reminded me of that faithfulness and love. I was standing in the lodge looking out the window....watching all the parents reunite with their kids. I saw one camper in particular, one that had been very "energetic" (to put it nicely) all week, walking out of the lodge. He made his way through a group of workteam people and finally found his parents. The reunion was sweet.....I stood there watching as they sandwiched him in a big hug...then the Dad picked him up in a big embrace....the Mom took her turn wrapping her arms around him, running her fingers through his messy hair, holding his face to get a good look at him. I watched as he showed them the rocket he had made and what looked like him describing how it had launched and fell back to earth. They hugged more, never stopped smiling, then the Dad picked him up like a sack of potatoes and carried him off, laughing to the car. It really was a sweet moment to watch. And in that moment I was reminded of a greater love....the love of our heavenly Father.....a love that is unconditional and lasting. Although I was slightly glad to see this camper leave, these parents were even more excited to see him come home. They don't really care that he had been non-stop activity, worn his counselor out, talked constantly and had and endless supply of energy...all they cared about is that he was home, that they could wrap their arms around him, that they could shower him with love and attention. Their love is unconditional....they see their son as their most precious gift, their sweetest blessing. No matter how others saw him, they saw him through the eyes of faithful love.
I am SO glad my heavenly Father sees me through those eyes.....He doesn't see me as others often see me...flawed, cranky, selfish, etc. He sees me as His prized possession, His redeemed creation, His precious child.
Thank you Lord, for continually giving me glimpses of You through this ministry....thank you for your faithful and unconditional love.

Day 5....end of week one :)

Well, the first week of camp is over (minus a breakfast in the am). Overall, it has been a great week....God is so faithful and good....He uses us in spite of ourselves. I'm amazed at how much work is accomplished through such broken vessels.....it's very humbling to be a part of it all.

It is so neat to see the sweet relationships that are made during a week's time. When the kids first attended chapel on Monday night, there was a slight hesitancy, a slowness to get involved....but tonight, standing in the back of the chapel and watching almost ALL the kids cram on stage for the rowdy songs and wrap arms around each other during the slower songs, I could see the depths of the fellowship they now shared. My prayer is that these kids have felt loved this week....that they have found a place where they feel safe....that they, as a result of being here, will desire the things of the Lord more. My prayer also is that the staff got a taste of truly serving the Lord, putting aside "self", and seeing the fruits of their labor. What a privilege to be a part of this ministry....to be able to teach the Word daily and to often see the results of that teaching. And to do it ALL while playing big ball volleyball, riding go-carts, eating sno-cones and making crafts......I love my job!
Thank you Lord for working out and showing me the plan for my life that led me to this place...I am truly blessed!

Day 4 of camp

Well, it's after midnight and I can barely keep my eyes open, but I wanted to at least give you a little taste of my day....
actually, it was pretty rough....it seemed that everywhere I turned, someone was giving me an attitude or snapping at me.....I was getting pretty "done" with it, just trying to hang on til the end of the day so I could just sleep it off and begin again.
The day was almost over, we were all at the campfire and the testimonies had just begun. I always enjoy this time of the week, if I can move past the tiredness. About 4 campers in to testimony time, a little girl got up and gave a very brief, but convicting statement. She simply said, "I am so thankful for Broken Arrow Bible Ranch....the only time I hear about God is when I'm at VBS and here." As she made her way back to her seat, I was struck by the reality of her words.....for several of the campers that come here, we are the only "Jesus" they see....very possibly only 1 or 2 times a year do they get the opportunity to sit under spiritual teaching and study the Word. In some ways that puts a great deal of pressure on me, but on the other hand, it brings great joy at the privilege we have here, to share the Word, teach the Truth and just love on these kids. It really puts all the "petty" stuff in perspective and brings to the forefront the true meaning as to why we are here. I am humbled and blessed to be a part of it.
Thank you Lord, for working in my life to bring me here, to this work, among these people....help me to never take it for granted, but to daily appreciate the opportunities you have given me.

Day 3 of camp

Still plowing through the first week. For many it is filled with "firsts"....first cabin clean up, first water fight, first night of Mission Impossible, etc....there seems to be lots of joy and anticipation in the "firsts". Makes for a fun week of camp :) If only that air of "firsts" could stay all summer....if only the enthusiasm could remain til the end. But unfortunately, the fatigue will set in, the tiredness will come, and everyones patience will wear thin....our faces will look more weary, our steps will be heavier and our smiles will be more forced....it's just the nature of this kind of job. The new will be replaced with the mundane. So, for now, I'm going to enjoy the excitement of the first week...praying it will last a little longer. I am thankful that even though we can easily grow weary of 'doing good', the Lord's faithfulness is new every morning! That should give us all reason to rejoice in our ministries. Please pray that I will seek the "newness" of God with each new day.....onward!!!

Day 2 of camp

Well, there were only 85 kids signed up to come to camp this week, but we ended up with 115...praise the Lord! That's just more opportunities to share the Word and the love of God. There is an excitement in the air, both from the staff and the campers....everyone seems geared up for a great week of camp. Although the temperatures are at record highs, it hasn't seemed to damper the mood here....everyon is just pushing through the heat and making the best of it. Praise the Lord for new (and much bigger) swamp coolers in our chapel.....it has made a HUGE difference!
My little Hannah is among the campers this week....wow, my kids are growing up! She absolutely LOVES camp and would go every week if I let her.
We have a great workteam this week...very entergetic and lively....eager to work....that makes my job so much easier. They are from Tulsa, OK and several have been here before....again, makes my job easier :)
Although yesterday was the first day of camp, today is the first full schedule day and still a learning process for our staff....many will be lost and several will be tired already....pray as we work out the 'kinks'. Today is extremely busy for me as well....I have to squeeze a whirlwind trip to town in there sometime to get the pictures developed...it works if everything goes smoothly....one "obstacle" during that trip and things will get messy if I"m not back in time....praying for smooth sailing!! :)
Pray for us....pray for our staff, pray for the campers, pray for me.....it takes much work running a camp this size. But thankfully, God is the one that is ultimately in control!

Camp Begins

I'm going to ignore the fact that this is the first time I've blogged in 6 months and just "start" again ;)
Today is an eventful day for me.....first of all, it's my anniversay.....13 years of marriage....wow, doesn't seem like it's been that long! Secondly, it's Peter and Hannah's birthday....it wasn't planned that way, but 4 years after we said "I do", we were saying "oh my!" as Peter and Hannah came into the world. My life has been a whirlwind ever since!
But the event that is taking up most of my time today is that it's the first day of camp. We have been preparing for this day for several weeks now. We've been making repairs and improvements all over the camp, we have made menus and ordered truckloads of food, we have recruited a great staff, spent the last week training them and preparing them for ministry.....and now the day has arrived!
In less than 5 hours this once 'quiet' camp will be over-run with more than 100 campers, all eager to have fun, ride horses, shoot rifles, eat lots of candy, ride go-carts and play lots of basketball.....but hopefully, they will also be eager to hear the Word of God, sing songs of praise and worship, and possibly make decisions that will change their lives. We are excited to see all that the Lord is going to do over the next 5 days....please be in prayer for the ministry here. It's the perfect setting for God to do an amazing work among these Native American youth.

I HOPE to keep an ongoing update here....I failed at that goal last year, but hopefully will do much better this time :)

I am not at home right now.....I'm 'away', getting some much needed rest. It's been good and to be honest, I've been able to come close to REALLY relaxing (something I am not usually very good at)....I haven't really thought much about home and all that is waiting there for me as far as ministry, and that has really added to my 'rest'. It's been good.

But tonight I could think of nothing but home....in fact, I thought about it in a way that almost brought me to tears.

I was sitting in the middle of a youth group...one that I am somewhat familiar with....surrounded by people who I have even spent time in ministry with.....listening to great worship music.....sat under great teaching.....yet I found my mind wandering 950 miles away, to a much different place. It made me think of home....my tiny little reservation town. And what brought that place to mind was not very 'normal'. It was actually the youth group 'announcements'. They started out their youth meeting with a list of announcements....nothing fancy, pretty normal.....for here. But for the dusty little town that I live in, it was a far cry from normal. As the youth pastor announced Senior High meetings, lunches, Discipleship groups, etc, I was thinking about the 'youth' ministries I am involved in. There are no announcements there....because there are no meetings, discipleship groups, or even lunches.....there is nothing but our tiny little group that meets once a week.

Then I started looking around. All the kids wore warm clothes......most had nice Bibles with cute little notebooks.....many were carrying Starbucks cups full of nice, warm, coffee flavored liquids.....all were laughing and enjoying each other. I looked at the many, MANY leaders in the group....it seemed like there was one leader for every couple of youth! Back home, there are many nights where the kids come with no coats, even though the temp is way below freezing....none of them bring Bibles.....there are no Starbuck cups, in fact, many have not eaten since their school lunch, which is why we serve them some type of dinner......there is some laughter, but most of it is a cover up for the struggles and hurts they just left at their house....and we are definitely short staffed....not near enough hands to do the work, much less spend the one on one time with the kids.

Even the music and teaching was different....it was great and I loved it.....but it still reminded me of what we "don't" have back home. Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining about what we don't have....and I'm definitely not bitter about those who have more. But it did burden my heart for the people in the southwest, and the obstacles they have to overcome to even get to a place of being able to worship. Sometimes it's the cold, sometimes it's hunger, sometimes it's the lack of the Word, sometimes it's even the lack of good teaching. And as the youth pastor spoke on 1 Peter 1:10-16, another thing they 'lacked' came to mind.

Hope.

As he spoke of putting our hope into the things that are to come, I personally felt encouraged for my own spiritual walk, but it wasn't long that a weariness set in.....it was the weariness of trying to preach 'hope' to a people that have very little hope.....both in this world or the world to come. I have found it very difficult to teach about the hope that is to come, when they can't even grasp the concept of hope at all. Many have nothing to look forward.....it becomes quite the task to tell them and bring them to a place of rest in an eternal hope. Every home represented at our youth meeting (minus the few staff kids that come) are in some kind of turmoil.....whether it's some kind of abuse, or it's loss of a job, or alcoholism with one or both parents, or a severe medical problem....all of our families are in crisis of some kind. So as I sat there under this great teaching, and even though I was able to grow and find encouragement for my own heart, I suddenly became very weary again.....almost forgetting I was on 'vacation'. My heart was heavy for the people I had left back home.....and it still is now. My head hurts from the strain of holding back the tears.

Yet I'm reminded of a verse....."do not grow weary in doing good".....a command, yet a comfort at the same time. I know those words can mean different things to different people, but within those words I hear, "don't allow yourself to be so heavy hearted that you can't continue in the work I have laid before you"....."don't allow ANYTHING to cause you to lose sight of the vision I have for my people"......"don't take on all the hardships yourself....give them to Me.....I can handle them......not only handle them, but I can turn mourning into dancing, weeping into joy".

I don't know if I'll ever stop feeling the burden of the people I serve and minister to, and I may never be able to think about their struggles without tearing up.....but I know that I can, and must, continue to 'do good' among them. And I must do it with confidence that my Lord walks beside me all the way....always willing and desiring to share the load with me. I look forward to many more years of "not growing weary in doing good" in my little dusty, reservation town :)

Well, I've given it some thought, and I think I have come up with my goals for this year. Like I said earlier, I feel completely overwhelmed with my family, my ministry, my commitments and my life in general....I don't feel like this year I can "add" things to it....things I would like to accomplish.....such as, learn how to play the guitar, read lots of books, pursue my photography, get my master's degree, lose lots of weight, etc. Those are things I would love to put time and effort into, but I don't feel this is the time for me.....and that is hard, because I LOVE the new year, making lists and setting new goals. But the Lord just doesn't have me in a place where I can do that right now. And I've learned to be ok with it....mostly.
But what I have decided to do is work on some things that I am already doing.....improving what I am already busy with. I dont' feel like that will take as much time from my busy schedule and yet I can still be working towards 'something'. We'll see how that works.....

For starters, I am not going to be able to spend as much time on my weight, but I do want to continue to improve my eating habits and live a healthy life. I get so discouraged if I don't meet my 'goals' in this area, that I am not setting specific ones, but just seeking to please the Lord with my choices. And to regulate my pain that so often hinders me. I find that the more I exercise, the better I feel. And although I don't always have the time to spend in that area, I need to make it a little more of a priority....I need to feel better so I can make this year more productive and effective.

Next, I want to improve my prayer life.....I want to be sincere when I say "I will pray for you". I used to be so faithful in keeping a prayer journal, but now I only do it when I go to prayer meetings or hear the requests at church...but I want to be faithful in the little things too, outside of the formal settings. And I want to pray for my kids more too....not just the day to day stuff, but for their future. Sometimes it overwhelms me to think too far ahead, but I need to do it more often and more diligently.

And along the same lines, I want to be more committed to doing my quiet times....so I have made one specific goal there....I will not miss a day in 2010. I struggled whether to make that goal or not...just not sure if I could accomplish it....but after much prayer and some insight from a friend, decided to do it, commit to it whole-heartedly. I am looking forward to it already.

Next, there are several relationships I need to work on this year. It seems like my whole life and ministry center around relationships....and it's not a big secret that I am not very good at them (why the Lord put me in full-time ministry still amazes me sometimes). But since I am already chin deep in them, I might as well make them as profitable (for everyone involved) as possible. There are a few relationships in my family that need attention, as well as those I minister to often. Then there are the friends that I so often overlook. So this year I am just seeking to improve what I already have and as far as the new ones that emerge this year, I want to start them off right, with less hesitation. That one make take more than a year to accomplish, but I might as well start now.

And speaking of my ministry, that needs a little polishing up as well. I do tend to get overwhelmed in at times....if not for the sheer size of it, but the heaviness of it. There is much pain and struggle where I work....every family that I am involved with has some kind of struggle in it....and not what is normal to many of us.....it's deep, harsh, dangerous, and heavy. There is the threat of homelessness and starvation with some....there is much, much abuse out here.....infidelity is huge, along with alcoholism and drugs......there is the native religion that pulls at them and along with that the huge walls that we have to break through to reach them with the Gospel. Hopefully, with the improvement in my prayer life and time with the Lord, this area will improve as well. I need to daily remember that He will not give me more than I can handle...and with every trial He will give me the strength that I need and the wisdom I need to give to others.

So there it is...my list for the year....it's not near as fun or dynamic as years past, but it is where I am these days....and I am confident that this is where the Lord has me and that these are the goals He has set before me for the upcoming year.
I am praying (already working on goal number 2!) that the Lord will honor my efforts and my desires to make these improvements. We shall see.........