APRIL 2007.....last year but appropriate for today as we begin our ministry

I've been reading/studying in Galatians.....what a neat book.....many nuggets of truth! I'm only in the first chapter, but so far it has been enlightening.

Paul has to begin his letter having to defend his apostleship and his authority of the Gospel given to him. He has to do this because the Galatians are starting to give ear to the "other" gospels being preached throughout the land......a sad situation. But Paul stands firm in his defense of the true Gospel.....he acknowledges that he was not taught by man, but had a direct experience with God and therefore received a very personal revelation about the true Savior......an experience and revelation that led to one of the most amazing transformations ever recorded......he was the most zealous persecuter of the Christians, yet was now the most passionate proclaimer of the Gospel. That in itself is evidence of authority!

One verse that caught my eye was vs 15...."But when it pleased God, who separated me from my mother's womb, and called me by his grace"

First of all, "but when it pleased God" is such a cool statement!

Not only did God 'create' Paul (for His good pleasure, no less), but God also called Paul into His grace. Paul gets it that God called him out, all the way from his birth, brought him through the trials, ordeals, seemingly success, etc, leading him down a certain path, all preparing him for 'this' ministry......as the proclainer of God's Word. Isn't that true for all of us? All of us have been separated from birth for a purpose... some to further the Gospel of Christ....... some to proclaim His Word...... all to walk a certain path. Paul was able to see the value in his particular journey....to see the reason behind every step he took.....how it eventually led him into the grace of God.

It took me a long time to get to that point.....to see the value of the road God led me down.....to see the beauty in the journey. I couldn't see that it was His hand guiding me.....at the time, it all seemed so random and out of control. But just as Paul, and as many of us, it took an encounter with the true and living Savior to really see the purpose He had set aside for me.....to appreciate the road chosen for me. My encounter was nothing to compare to Paul's on the road to Damascus...I wasn't hit with a bright light and struck blind.....I didn't have a verbal, audible interaction with God on a desert road.....but at some point I did meet God, and at that point Christ was revealed to me. And eventually, things became more and more clear....about why certain things happened, why I was allowed to go through the things I did. And in that clarity came a peace.....and the ability to see the beauty in the journey.

"But when it pleased God, who separated me from my mother's womb, and called me by His grace..."

Good byes

This past weekend we had our commissioning service......it was a sweet time of fellowship, lessons shared from our pastor, instruction from the Word of God, and acknowledgment of the work of the Holy Spirit in our lives (and in each believers life). It was such an encouragement and such confirmation of all that has transpired over the past few years. And although it was hard to say good bye to our church family, I feel so confident that we have their support and their prayers as we embark on this new journey.
After the service we had a farewell fellowship at a local state park......again, another sweet time of fellowship with dear friends. Many came out to say good bye and encourage us with their presence. Some came from quite a distance which was such an encouragement and kind gesture....so good to see them before we head off to the other side of the country. It was especially sweet to see my children's friends come out to say good bye. I know how bittersweet it is for me to leave, but sometimes I forget it's the same for my children too. Although they are very excited to get to New Mexico, they are torn also.....the newness of the next chapter, but the tears that come with leaving this one. But from experience I know that God gives all that we need, and the comfort will come....not just come but He will trade our sorrow in for joy! I have to keep reminding myself of that too!!
As I was saying good bye to dear friends, it did cause me to reflect on my life here, in Beckley WV in particular......there has been a lot invested....both ways. Many talks, lots of laughs, a few tears, much growth, even some loss......through it all, the Lord has been nothing but good and faithful.....just like He promises.
So we are at the end here....we leave in exactly a week.....there are many emotions floating around, but last night, as my family and I were sitting at a local restaurant, it just hit me.....I am completely ready to go.....there was an absolute peace about everything and I could have climbed into my van and drove away right then. It's as if everything has been completed here (except all the packing!!! yikes!!) and it is time to go. And it is time to go......
....."the fields are white unto harvest".....it's time to go.

a few more old blogs....almost exactly a year ago

TIRED (April 2007)

It's another sleepless night.....yikes! Slept for about 2 hours, then woke up and can't fall back asleep......

as frustrating as it is, I know it's just part of the 'work'.....right?......"Bear one another's burdens, and thus fulfill the law of the Lord" Galatians 6:2

Usually it's the Lord prompting me to pray for someone.....not a problem....I count it a privilege....yes, even at 3:15am! (I'm praying for you B!)

And sometimes the quiet pre-dawn hours are meant for me......every now and then, it's myself I need to pray for.....I admit, there are times that I let the needs of others come before my own.....not because I am so spiritual or self-sacrificing.....I'm positive I'm more selfish than most.....but it is actually easier to focus on the needs of others than face our own sometimes.......know what I mean?

Regardless of WHY I am awake and praying, I'd be lying if I said it didn't take it's toll on me at times....physically, emotionally, and spiritually......sometimes I feel like I can't refuel fast enough.....I'm spending more than I am taking in....

that's when Matthew 11:28-30 become so real to me......

you know it.....""Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you, and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart; and you shall find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy, and My load is light."

I know this verse speaks more about yoking yourself with Christ in salvation, but there is encouragement to be found for us too.....

to 'take His yoke upon us', strikes me as a one time event.....basically, salvation. it's the 'and learn from me' part that paints a picture of an ongoing act......we are to continue to learn, daily, from Christ.....from His word, from interaction with Him, from prayer, from other believers, etc.....and in that continual process, we will find rest for our souls.....that encourages me.....

and I want it to encourage others.......I want people to see that kind of "rest" in me....

when I am really tired and weary, there are outward signs......I get these gorgeous dark circles under my eyes, I break out, usually have a queasy stomach.....some of those closer to me even say my right eye gets droopy! And we've all done it...pasted on that smile and looked happy to be wherever..... always answering "fine" to the popular question of "how are you doing?".........but really, my prayer is that I won't have to fake any smiles or tell little white lies about how I'm really feeling....that because of the beautiful rest my Savior gives me, I will truly be fresh and excited about all the tasks and people He places in my path......that in that rest, I will find true joy......that is my prayer for today......as I head to the gym with a friend, as I go to breakfast with a couple dear ladies (relationships I have neglected for a while and are struggling), as I do school with my children, as I meet a precious new friend for lunch, as I spend time with other moms at the bowling alley, even as I attend a birthday party later tonight.....I pray that the Lord blinds them to all the outward signs of my exhaustion, and they see the love I have for them AND my God.......

well, the sun will be coming up soon and my day will be officially starting.....thank you for your prayers..... know that you are in mine often.......

Abby and Hannah with their new co-op buddy, Hannah :)



Psalm 126 (April 2007)

On Wednesday nights we are studying the "Songs of Degree" Psalms.....there are about 15 of them.....very cool

Tonight we looked at Psalm 126...the whole thing, but we focused in on verses 5-6. Most people associate those verses with "soul winning" and evangelism.....but tonight we shifted it a little and looked at it from another angle.....

"they that sow in tears shall reap in joy. He that goeth forth and weepeth, bearing precious seed, shall doubtless come again with rejoicing, bringing his sheaves with him"

Sowing does apply to evangelism, but it also applies to our daily ministry opportunities...the work we do and the time we invest in others......

Galatians 6:7-8 "Be not deceived, God is not mocked, for whatever a many soweth, that shall he also reap. For he that soweth to his flesh shall of the flesh reap corruption, but he that soweth to the Spirit shall of the Spirit reap life everlasting" That is an easy enough concept.....basically....you reap WHAT you sow.

Hosea 8:7 "For they sow the wind, and they reap the whirlwind....." meaning, you reap MORE than you sow...that could be a scary thing!

Hosea 10:12 "Sow with a view to righteousness, Reap in accordance with kindness; Break up your fallow ground, For it is time to seek the Lord Until He comes to rain righteousness on you" IICor 9:6 "Now this I say, he who sows sparingly shall also reap sparingly; and he who sows bountifully shall also reap bountifully."......you are RESPONSIBLE for what you sow.

Those are very good points......enlightening to a point.....but the part that I knew was just for me, was when he said this.....

in verse 5, when it says 'those who sow in tears will reap with joy', it seems like a contradiction to the rest....usually, you reap what you sow....not reap the opposite of what you sow......but it might mean that when you sow in tears, it's not necessarily a bad thing.....doesn't mean you are sowing in sin or sowing fruitless things like the wind......it may just mean you are sowing in a time of affliction, a time of trial, a time of exhaustion......I think we have all been there.....and when we are there, the last thing we want to do is SOW!.....we want to lay down and cry for a while, maybe curl up in the fetal position and just stay put for awhile......but I don't think that is what we are supposed to do.....I think we are supposed to keep sowing....keep working....and in that, we will reap with 'joyful shouting'.......

A few days ago, I was really tired.....and in that exhaustion, I got mad....(thankfully, i had a sweet friend who let me whine for awhile!)....but I was mad at a lot of things....I was mad that in that moment, I still had to give of myself....I still had to 'sow' and I didn't feel like it....but that is not what we are called to do....we are to sow, even in tears....in frustration...in exhaustion.....the Lord will bring us the joy He promises us through the reaping.....that is encouraging and comforting.

Thank you Lord, that if we bring our tears and afflictions to You, You will turn them to joy!

a day of thankfulness.....

.....the forecast of rain, but the abundance of sunshine (172)
....friends stopping by to sit with us during the yard sale (173)
.....waking up my oldest from a nap (she is WAY cute when she wakes up!) (174)
.....more visits with friends (in my very cluttered living room!) (175)
.....quiet moments on the front porch with baby Isaac (176)
......sweet memories as I go through baby clothes (177)
......the counsel from a dear friend (178)
.......the promise of God's faithfulness (179)
......His protection over all His children (180)
.....and the assurance that regardless the outcome, His will and plan is absolutely perfect (181)
......the yard sale is over...yippee! (182)
.....the financial provisions of my Father (183)
.....dinner and laughter with friends (184)
......my girls excitement of ANOTHER sleep over (185)
.....the RSVP of dear friends for our commissioning service and farewell fellowship (186)
.....a night of veggin' and no packing (187)
.....the opportunity to give my leftover yard sale items to a family in need (188)
.....the chance to counsel (189)
.....friends and their families (190)
.....hearing Isaac laugh (191)

Things have been VERY hectic lately, at times, too hectic for my selfish, finite mind to note the blessings that surround me every day.....but I want to take the time to work on my 'gratitude' list, something I have come to really cherish, whether I actually am able to get it down on "paper"!......

......having a yard sale, a reminder of God's abundance in my life (148)
......the money the yard sale provided to help with our moving expenses (149)
......the opportunities to encourage people who stopped by our sale (150)
......working alongside of hubby on this project (151)
......the help of friends and church family (152)
......the encouraging words of friends, rejoicing in our ministry move (153)
.....the book of Genesis (154)
......one of my favorite books, The Knowledge of the Holy (155)
.....provisions for my mother in law (156)
......pick up basketball game (157)
......quiet times to read, in the midst of chaos (158)
......the preaching from my dear pastor (159)
.......truth from the book of Ephesians (160)
....... the plans of a farewell fellowship (161)
.......memories of my children as babies (162)
.......watching them enjoy me share stories of their earlier childhood (163)
......more peace in the midst of pain (164)
......the new, sweet toothless smile of my son (165)
......Hannah's love for her red cowboy boots that she wears everywhere and with everything!! (166)
.....being able to give to others (167)
.....being able to receive also (168)
......naps in the afternoon (169)
......a massage in the midst of chaos!!! (170)
.....an hour to think of nothing (171)

Official Missionaries

So, we finally got the official "green light" from our mission board today to move from 'appointee status' to 'full time missionary'....with that comes the permission to make the move to New Mexico.....that's a good thing since we have packed up most of our things, rented a moving van and then sold the rest of our stuff in a yard sale this weekend! :) We obviously anticipated the move and have been working hard over the past month to prepare for it :)

So we are in the middle of a yard sale this weekend....we've spent the last 2 mornings hauling our stuff out onto our front yard, setting it out on tables, and allowing strangers to go through it all. Now that doesn't bother me.....we've had several yard sales and I do love a good purging!!! But for some reason this one was different. It was more a 'closing' of a chapter this time.......I think the first of many bittersweet moments I will witness over the next week or so. I don't know that it has hit me yet...all that I am leaving here.....but I'm sure it will eventually. There is so much excitement about this new chapter of my life, it does seem to over power the more sad aspect of this new chapter.....but there is a part of me who is looking at everything a little different these days: realizing I am doing some things for the 'last' time here, knowing that it will the last time I will see some of my friends for the next 6 months, year, or possibly forever.
BUT, in the same breath, it's all good....BECAUSE my God is good!!!
although my "West Virginia" blogs are coming to an end, I am looking forward (lots) to sharing my thoughts from the midst of my new ministry!!!

5K Journey is almost over.....

Well, I have one week left before the race.....seems to come at a bad time in some ways....right in the middle of major moving chaos! But in some ways it's been very good. I have enjoyed the distraction of the piles and piles of boxes and the many things on my 'to do' list.....and the time with my dear work out friend has been refreshing also. There have been many, MANY laughs during our YMCA trips....good memories to take with me. And although I am very confident I will come in last place in the race, it will be my own personal victory in many ways. I look forward to it!
I have worked myself up to the 3 miles and have just focused on trying to work on my time.....not making too much progress there, but again, I am just counting in a victory to be running in it period. I even plan on continuing my work out on the mission field. I already know it will possibly grow some relationships with other women out there who enjoy running.
Hopefully this time next week I will be able to rejoice in actually setting a goal, working toward it, and achieving it!!!

old blogs still......

Promises...(APRIL 2007)

It's been a while since I've written.....what a whirlwind the past month or so.

my 2 year old nephew is staying with us for a couple of months......I love that kid....he has my heart!....but it's been busy too. It's different having a toddler in the house again. But it's been worth it.

the Lord has been teaching me lots lately......the thing that He keeps showing me almost daily is, His constant and promised faithfulness to me....no matter how much I screw things up, no matter how often I fail to show gratefulness for the things He gives me, no matter how many times I've disobeyed......He has never failed in keeping His promises to me....

His promise to always be there, and never forsake...

His promise to provide for our every need.....

His promise to shield and protect me....

His promise to give us strength, wisdom, patience, and comfort......

His promise of abundant mercy, forgiveness, love, grace, and power

His promise of a future.....

His promise of blessing in return for service, obedience, and undivided worship.....

His promise to walk with me through suffering, worry, doubt, fear, discouragement, and even anger.....

His promise of a Savior, of an eternal home in heaven, and of hope.....

What a beautiful picture of a beautiful God.......a renewed look at the God who not only died for my sins, but gives promise after promise of an abundant life....a life based on a sweet relationship with the Creator of all things.....a confident life!

The Lord has reminded me of His beautiful promises in many different ways recently....I've read it in my devotions, I've studied it in a Bible study, I've heard it from the mouths of brothers and sisters, and I've witnessed it in the birth of new friendships.......

The Lord is good.....and His promises are good.....

it's always been a head knowledge, but recently it has become a heart knowledge.....

My heart is full of thankfulness and awe today.......

it's a good day....

APRIL 2007

It's really cool when the Lord just gives you the little 'extras'.......ya know?

I shared with you the neat things God has been putting before me recently (the blog before this one!)...not anything new and profound, just super reminders of His perfect faithfulness, His many promises, etc.....it's been refreshing to reflect on all of that......to be able to share it in some of my 'talks' with others, to use it as a tool in my ministry, to actually SEE it even in some pretty neat ways......

I went to church yesterday, a little excited to sit down and absorb some good teaching......one of the hymns we started out with was "Standing on Jehovah".....one line stuck out to me...."standing on Jehovah, hearts are fully blessed...finding as He promised, perfect peace and rest"......it probably only stood out to me because of the sweet promise in there.....then, the next song was "standing on the promises"...not usually one that strikes a big chord with me, but that day I thought it was fitting...thanks God for the little extras you give....

so I sit down and get all comfy for the sermon.....I LOVE my pastor and the way he brings the word......i REALLY love the way God brings the word, straight to me!

Basically, he starts off in James 2, where it speaks of Abraham being a friend of God.....he talked of Abe's life, his faith in God, his obedience (of course there were not so glorious moments too.....don't we all have those!)....he talked of the promises made to Abraham, and the faith he had in those promises....

But something my pastor was good to point out.....was to focus not just on the promises, but the Promiser......the one who is capable of keeping every promise....the promises are good, but the one who does the promising is better.....that is where our focus should ultimately be.....the promises should draw our eyes to the one who promises. I did get that already, but for some reason the Lord really put it into a more honest perspective for me then......

Abraham was called a friend of God....why? because of His faith that God would bring about exactly what He said He would...."Abe believed God and it was imputed unto him for righteousness" james 2:23 Sounds so simple......he just believed.....no biggie......but the difference is how he believed.....way different than I believe most of the time!

ok.....Abe was promised many, many descendents right? very cool....but then comes the time where God asks him to go up on the mountain to do the impossible.....sacrifice the only son he had.....his miracle child....the one that came when it seemed not possible.....his precious heritage.

so he starts the long journey.....

one notable thing...Gen 22:3.....it says that "abraham rose up early in the morning...." that kind of blows my mind!......if God told me that I was to go and sacrifice my child, I don't think I would rise up early and ready to start the journey....I'm sure I would lay in bed, thinking that God would have to say something to me, maybe change His mind, call it all off.....but no, Abraham got up early in the morning and began his journey.....

then the really cool part.....(to me at least).....came in verse 5...."And Abraham said to his young men, Abide ye here with the ass; and I and the lad will go yonder and worship, and come again to you"......there is a part of that verse that makes my heart skip a beat....did you see it?......here it is in the 'inspirational study Bible': "and Abraham said to his young men, 'stay here with the donkey; the lad and i will go yonder and worship, and we will come back to you"......he completely believed!...he knew that God would keep His promise of descendents....even though He was asking him to sacrifice the only one he had.....he knew that he AND his son would come back down.....I doubt he knew how it was going to happen, but he believed that God was faithful and he simply obeyed.....he also knew that when he got to the place of sacrifice, that he and his son would worship God...."the lad and I will go yonder and worship..." I don't know if he knew he got it, but Abraham got that obedience would lead to worship.....once we really step out in faith and obedience, we begin a journey that leads to blessings.....and in that step of faith and obedience, we can be called friends of God......I get that believing often has to be active....taking a real, physical step sometimes......Abraham had to rise up and begin that journey....he physically had to get up, prepare the wood, get his son ready, kiss his wife good-bye (with probably very few words of encouragement or explanation), saddle his donkey, and start walking......what an amazing journey that must have been.....I have a feeling we only catch a glimpse of it.....but enough to know what made it so amazing...in that moment, an amazing friendship was born.....one between Abraham and God.....

obey God and return with the son of promise!

We were created for His good pleasure....but without faith, we cannot please God...we cannot be "friends" of God......I want to be a pleasure to Him....a friend of God

I do long for that kind of relationship with God.....for Him to call me friend...how sweet would that be?

anyways, that is what I've been chewing on the past couple of weeks.....I love it when God gives me beautiful things to think about, a time of refreshment and encouragement.....hope it gives you even the slightest bit of insight into what God is doing these days.......I hope it draws you even the smallest bit closer to Him.....that is what it's all about, right? :)

ps...i'm not proofing this....hope it made sense!

me and peter, Easter afternoon.....

the ladies of the house!! 2007

more thankfulness.....

Ahhh.....I do love a productive day. It started off well....did quite a bit of school, got some good reading in, ran errands, etc.....then it sort of simmered down in the afternoon with a nice hour long nap! But then it perked back up with a good work out at the Y and then dinner with the fam. Now, all my little ones are tucked into bed (YES, at 8pm!!), hubby is watching a baseball game, so that leaves me to continue on with my productivity (although my body is telling me how much it would love to go curl up in the recliner!). Unfortunately, my recliner days are over for awhile....actually, for that particular recliner, they are over for good because it's going in the yard sale this weekend....but regardless, there is not much time for sitting around these days. We have 2 weeks before we start our journey across the country to our new home on the mission field. I still have moments of being overwhelmed with all the things that need to be done, but my heart is so thankful and excited about this new phase in our lives....and I've been around long enough to know that everything that really NEEDS to get done, will get done! The rest was just fluff!!! But I continue to see the blessings of God in my daily chaos, and I'm enjoying journaling them.....for you and for myself! :)

.......a visit from 2 very dear friends on Sunday afternoon (118)
......reminiscing over the "good ole days" (119)
.....hearing one share her wedding plans (pray I will be able to fly home for it!) (120)
.....silly snapshots (121)
.....hubby coming home....again!! (122)
.....the blessing of "new" furniture from my parents (123)
.....the overflow of things to sell at our yardsale, a reminder of the 'abundance' God has given us (124)
.....a few moments listening to a friend's heart (125)....and being reminded of the hand of God in our lives (126)
.....getting up early....finally, i did it!!! (127)
......a quiet moment in the Word and a book (128)
.....the reminder of how my 'smallest' sins can effect many people (Gen 4) (129).....but then also the grace of God in the lives of His children (130)
.....the life of Enoch (131)
.....starting a new book (132)....well, I'll let you know if I'm thankful for it when I'm done!!! :)
.....order in the midst of chaos (133)
.....watching my children play on the playground with friends the love so much! (134)
.....a few moments with a friend I've neglected (135).....and just being able to pick up where we left off (136)
.....a much needed nap (137)
.....the opportunity to 'teach the younger women' (138)
.....running with only minimal pain (139).....completing a goal (140)
.....playing silly games with hubby and son (141).....hearing Peter say he wants me on his team (142)
.....the smell of clean, showered kids! (143)
......Bible stories with my children (144)....and the fact that they have questions and interest in them (145)
......my really big desk, that I am going to miss lots (146)
......the anticipation of reading and falling asleep!! (147)

The Liberty of Obedience

In the final chapter of the book, spiritual maturity is discussed. After looking at the true definition of "sin" and our response to it in the beginning of the book, it ends with a word of hope for us...the hope of maturity and also conformity to Christ......

"He (God) wants us to reach maturity. He has so arranged things that if we are to go on beyond the 'milk diet' we shall be forced to think. We must train our faculties by practice to distinguish between good and evil. We are fond of quoting Romans 8:28. But this verse is nearly meaningless without its following verse, in which lies another definition of maturity. 'to be shaped to the likeness of his son' (N.E.B.). Unless we see this as the true 'good' referred to in verse 28, we shall wonder how Paul can possibly have been so naive. We shall be forced to regard him - perhaps with affection and certainty with pity - as a misguided Pollyanna, trying to prove to himself that there is always something to be glad about, and shutting his eyes to the sad and the bad. But, given the definition of verse 29, we see that all our spiritual education is directed toward god's idea of good, this 'conformity to Christ'.
Note that He is not interested in conformity to a static code but to a person, the 'likeness of His Son,' the living expression of Himself, the very Life of all the ages. This is a far cry from a stereotype. Had God given us a minute prescription for our behavior, no high development of individual character would have been necessary to meet it. He need not have mentioned discernment. But the Law, said the writer to the Hebrews, was incapable of bringing anyone to maturity. The 'letter' - for example, a rule book, a code, a policy - is deadening. It cannot stimulate growth.
..But no policy can encompass in advance the difficult paths through which God may lead a soul to maturity. The man who determines to go on to perfection must go on alone. The child must learn independence. James wrote that when endurance is fully developed 'you will find you have become men of mature character with the right sort of independence' (james 1:4, Phillips translation)...
....Maturity was Paul's goal for others as well. 'We warn everyone we meet, and we teach everyone we can, all that we know about him, so that, if possible, we may bring every man up to his full maturity in Christ Jesus. This is what I am working at all the time, with all the strength that God gives me' (Col 1:28, Phillips)."

Again, more old blogs.....from March 2007

the view

We were driving to Cincinnati, Ohio last weekend......it was a somewhat peaceful stretch of our drive....the kids were watching/listening (with earphones) to a movie, Wes was daydreaming (while driving!), I had a cd in and I was staring out the window. We were on a small highway where the Ohio river was on our left and a mountain on our right. It was right around sunset and I was looking out over the river, watching the sun start to settle over the other side.....it's an amazing sight and I'm in silent awe for a moment. Then I start to think how cool it would be to see that view every evening....as the idea started to grow, I panned across the highway to the right side, the mountain side, with the plan to pick a spot where I would build my house so that I could look at that view every day.....how niave of me to think I was the first one to come up with that idea! As I scanned the mountain ridge, there were a dozen homes already there, each perfectly situated to be able to see the colors of the sunset reflecting off the river....what an amazing view they must have! And to make it even easier for them, each west facing side of the homes was made almost entirely of glass....obviously, the view was one of the most important reasons for building their homes up there. I spent a couple seconds being slightly jealous, thinking of how I would spend my evenings sitting in a cozy recliner with a good book, looking out over the river.....how wonderful that would be to end each day with a better than life view of the world......then, I started judging the people living in those houses, accusing them of walking by that view many times a day, without pausing to take it in.....running around doing meaningless tasks, consumed with trivial details, completely missing the beauty that is right in front of them......I was sure that many of them probably even keep the curtains drawn, having forgotten that there is even a view out there! Silly people, what a waste......
Well, I'm not sure if you can see it coming, but I was quickly convicted of my judgement and was equally quick to see how similar I sometimes live my life.....although I do have a wonderful sunset view from my mountain, that is not the view that I was reminded of in my conviction......it was more about the beauty the Lord has put right in my surroundings that I sometimes miss.....things I overlook on a daily basis because I get caught up with the meaningless details of life: is my house clean enough?, am I working out enough?, is everyone please with my performance/responsibilities?, etc......all the while, I sometimes miss the beautiful view the Lord has place right in front of me: my children laughing hysterically, the flowers growning along the white fence in the backyard, the note from a friend sticking out of my Bible......how often I overlook things in an effort to make sure everything is 'just right'....silly me...what a waste...

Lord, thank you for something simple like a sunset on a mundane drive out of town...thank you for pulling my eyes to the mountain top, for reminding me of the beautiful 'sunset' views you put in my line of sight every day.....
help me to appreciate them more, help me to pause and reflect, help me draw closer to You because of them.......
help me to open the curtains and drink in the gift of your 'Sonset' every day....

me

A day of accomplishment....so far!!

Well, although I slept in this morning, I still woke up with a sense of excitement to get things done. I haven't really felt that way in a while for some reason....mostly just overwhelmed with the amount of stuff piling up around me. But today, for some reason (thank you, Lord!), I was ready to finally face the pile and start working on it. So already this morning I have tackled laundry, my kitchen floors, bathroom (top to bottom), packing, cooking, and of course the many interruptions that come in the midst.....but I have one of my favorite cds in and I am just going to keep going. I'm even squeezing in some schooling that needs to be done! Go me!!!! (i'm my own personal cheerleader, too!!!)
So, I'm closing up the computer (for the next few hours, at least) and continuing on!!!

......sleeping in (102)
......accomplishments (103)
......reading Bible stories to my children around the breakfast table (104)
......knowing hubby is having a great day at the Braves game with friends and family (105)
......seeing the twins excitement as they show me the HUGE train track they built (106)
.....being 'stranded' at home (107)
.....the smell of furniture polish (108)
.....sweet joy in the midst of great pain (109)
.....obedient children, who were asked to do some school on a Saturday (110)
.....peace in the midst of chaos (111).....all because I have a faithful God who promises to never give me more than I can handle (112)
.....the promise of rest (113)
.....open windows and a cool breeze (114)
.....unexpected friends joining us for lunch (115)
.....having more than enough to feed everyone (116)
.....the smell of hamburgers cooking, even though I can't eat it, it smells good!! (117)

The beautiful day added to my thankfulness....

.......sleeping in with hubby (73)
......the sunshine first thing this morning (74)
......running outside (around the serene pond) instead of on a treadmill (75)
......good music (76)
......finishing my run early enough to sit by the pond and finish a book (77)
.....the knowledge that came as a result of that book (78)
......a quiet prayer that I will be able to apply that knowledge (79)
......a short but sweet visit with the kid's piano teacher, a dear friend of mine (80)
......sitting in the van after pulling in the driveway and listening to an encouraging song (81)
......a hot, quiet shower....and the song still floating through my mind (82)
......enjoying an afternoon of roller skating with my kids and friends (83)
.....girl scout cookies (84)
.....watching Betsy be so excited to get to skate! (85)
.....encouraging words from another mom (86).....and her suggestion about my health (something to research) (87)
.....stopping at a doughnut shop on the way home (88)
.....playing "telephone" while sitting at the counter eating yummy doughnuts (89)
.....many, many things to write in my "laugh" journal (90)
.....discovering new stores (91)....and finding a small gift for a friend (92)......which reminded me to pray for her (93)...God uses the smallest things to do that!!
....an hour long nap (94)
.....chats with hubby while he is on the road headed out of town (95)
.....my little red head's cute smile (96).....and how often I see it every day (97)
.....a quiet evening at home (98)
......God's provision of a big thing, and a little thing (99)
......a messy house, but the contentment in the midst of it (100)
....."everything" bagels! (101)

I am thankful for....

......another day of laughter (61)
......help from a friend to get all my invitations out (62)
......the forgiveness of a friend (63)
.....the flexibility of another friend! (64)
.....strolling through one of my favorite stores (65)
.....chips and salsa (66)
.....spending the afternoon at the park with friends (67)
.....playing basketball with hubby (68)
.....listening to him tell about the funny things the kids did while I was gone (69)
.....watching the twins play so nicely together (70)
.....knowing that as my oldest struggles so often these days, that the Lord is going to use it to make her into a beautiful woman of God (71)
.....12 more boxes packed (72)

Late night drive

Last night I had to pick my husband up from the airport. He had been gone to New Mexico for 10 days, fixing up our 'new' house, getting it ready for us to move into......what a wonderful man!
But it was an hour drive to the airport and I was all alone.....I can't even write down everything I pondered on or all the thoughts I was actually able to finish in my head!!! It's amazing what I can accomplish!
Really though, it was such a sweet time of reflection and fellowship with the Lord....some of it amazing (worship), some of it tearful (confession).....but all so very good for my soul. I should make that drive more often!
So obviously, during that time, I was able to reflect on many things I was thankful for:

......well, first and foremost....silence! (42)

.....being excited to see my hubby again (43)

.....listening to a newly purchased CD (44)

.....being reminded of the faithfulness of God (45)

.....being able to seek restoration (46).....and receiving it! (47)

"Pour your Spirit out on me, fall just like the rain
Saturate my thirsty soul
Fall afresh on me, fill my cup again
Heal my heart and make me whole

I need You now......I need You now
Pour your Spirit out" /SW/ (48)

.....extra moments to sit and read (49)

.....the relief and joy of having hubby home again (50)

.....hearing news from the field (51)

.....making plans for our future (52)

.....a WONDERFUL night's sleep.....i don't think i moved!! (53)

.....quietness in the morning (54)

.....the fresh anticipation of getting in the Word (55)

....good (and long prayed for) news from a friend (56)

.....anticipated (and much needed) alone time this afternoon (57)

.....knowing that all the many things I have to accomplish, even this morning, have already been prepared ahead of time by my loving Father (58)

.....the tears that come now, just thinking about His goodness and protection over me (59)

.....the much needed long, hot shower I am about to take!!!! (60)

Thank you God, for your many, many gifts throughout my days and nights. Help me to continually be excited about discovering them, and equally excited to give You the praise in return for each one.

More old stuff......

Here are a couple more entries from the old blog......

Hold them a little longer (March 2007)

This morning I attended my MOPs meeting. I really didn't want to go because my day was so full and I was really going to be rushed if I went....but I was on the schedule to speak so I needed to be there. I spoke on how to take better pictures and how to preserve memories. I was just going to sit through the first speaker, do my part and then head out. Well, I did that, but in all of it, I found such a blessing......the lady who spoke talked about cherishing the different stages our children go through and our time with them....about "holding them a little longer". It was a wonderful reminder of what an impact I am making on my children each day and how vital I am in the molding of their tiny lives......how my reactions to them, to their accomplishments and mistakes, and to their needs effect who they are.....am I really nurturing my children, meeting the needs that I can meet, am I teaching them all the things they need to know....not just out of books, but the things they need to know about life and about God and who He is. It was a good reminder of the important role God has given us as mothers.....a lot to think about!
So, I am glad I went to the meeting this am.....glad the Lord slowed me down enough to hear a word from Him......even after that challenging topic, I was able to present my information on taking pictures without too much studdering! I even got some business out of the whole ordeal!

the Lord is good in ALL things!

Abby (a little over a year old).....black and white with hint of color added :)
I miss those chubby cheeks!

ALL things.....(March 2007)

I've had a lot on my mind lately....homeschool testing, speaking engagements, counseling opportunities, etc......but one thing that has been coming to the forefront of my mind often over the past week or so is something a little out of the ordinary....I've been thinking about the 'pain' of our Savior. I know, not the most relaxing, restful thoughts, but it keeps creeping into my thoughts throughout the day lately.....I'll explain.....

My relationship with my dad was very strained growing up and under his authority, I experienced both physical and emotional pain. Now I am very quick (and blessed) to say that I have dealt with and moved past a lot of that pain and have even been able to be thankful for it and actually use it for my ministry. But it doesn't mean that I'm never reminded of it or that I don't revisit it every now and then....not to the point where it alters my daily life or reverses any progress I've made....but just enough to make me reflect on things.
Lately, I have been in contact with my dad more than the 2-3 times a year that normally exist in a calander year and as a result of our conversations, I have had to, in my own mind, revisit my childhood and some of the pain experienced there. It's not a place that anyone can really go with me, since by my own choice, I've choosen to keep most of those years to myself. So it may not be evident to anyone, even those closest to me, that I'm even struggling with it......that includes my dear, precious children. They have no idea of my past pain or how it pops up every now and then.....therefore, they have no hesitations with bringing their daily 'pains' and hurts and piling them on my lap. On a good day, I can take whatever they dish out and whatever stuggles and hurts they are having are no problem for me. I listen, hold them, give advice and answers, etc....I allow them to openly and with no guilt or difficulty dump their pains on me.....a part of my job that is sometimes draining, but always a blessing. And after they have come, dumped, and cried all over me, they just get up, wipe their eyes and return to their world of Barbies and Legos.....it's actually a remarkable process to witness! But lately, my 'pain' tolerance has been lower and I'm finding it more exhausting to give audience to the very daily tattlings and injustices that are occuring in their tiny lives....each time one of them comes and, without giving a second thought to what I'm doing at the moment, or much less what I'm feeling at the moment, decides to unload the most recent 'pain' inflicted upon them I become more and more overwhelmed.....all because of a few extra conversations with my dad.......sounds silly doesn't it? Sounds silly to actually write it! It's hard for me to actually acknowledge that my children's simple hurts and struggles are becoming too much for me right now.....but in this difficult and even embarrassing place, the Lord has reminded me of something much bigger than my own weaknesses and shortcomings.....I've been reminded of HIS strength and amazing endurance and pain tolerance. Not only did He experience the most brutal and agonizing physical pain here on earth, literally taking on the sins of the world, but He continues to daily invite us to bring our hurts and pains to Him, big or small......He welcomes them. He not only listens, comforts us, and imparts wisdom, but He goes a step further and actually takes our pain as His very own, promising to give us real relief and literal peace. What a comfort and what a relief, that I have a safe place to go and place MY pains on HIS lap.....allow Him to comfort and advise me about my 'tattlings and injustices'....He allows me to come, dump, and cry until I feel all better...then I get up and return to my own world.
I've been reminded, by my own exhaustion and low tolerance, to be evermore thankful for His strength and love for me.....I don't thank Him enough for the pain He endured for ME on the cross and the hurt I sometimes bring to Him, whether by choice, or by my own sin. Thank you Lord, for your 'perfectness' in all things......and for your promise to work "all" things (my pains, my past, my children's hurts, etc) for your good......
me


Me with my sister Lindy (left), Alison (right) and my dad (june 2005)


And then here are a few more things I found to be thankful for.....although today was a little tougher because of pure exhaustion!! :)

........sleeping in late (31)

.....being healthy and available to help a friend unload his Pepperidge Farm truck (32)
......and he showed his thankfulness by providing enough bread to last a month!! (33)

.....text messages that brought laughter in the middle of me being completely overwhelmed by boxes, showing God really desires me to laugh in the middle of 'busyness' (34)

.....unexpected help with writing invitations, exactly when i needed it (35)

......sitting on the front porch with family and friends on this incredibly beautiful day (36)

.....watching my youngest go around and water all the plants in the front yard (37)
.....and watching her wonder and amazement as she caught an ant on a blade of grass (38)

.....the opportunity to show patience (39)

.....phone call from hubby saying he is almost home!! (40)

....the fun of experimenting with a new kind of reeses candy with a friend...yum! (41)

Old blogs

I really do enjoy blogging here, I just wish I could do it more often. And although my blogs often read simple and elementary, this is not my first blog page....I started blogging about a year ago on another site. I stopped because of life probably....things got too busy, hectic, chaotic....I put it aside for about a year. And although life hasn't at all slowed down, I decided to start again, this time landing here, along with many friends (i'm finding more and more everyday who blog here...very cool!). And before, only a couple people knew about my blog.....now, I have several say they have stopped by to read my "ramblings" (my word, not theirs!).
Well, this morning I decided to go and close down my other site, since it's not being used anymore...but before doing so, I thought I would transfer a few over here....as a time of reflection for me and something new for anyone who passes by here. It's been interesting to go back and see where I was a year ago......in some ways I was in a very different place, surrounded by different people, involved in different things, etc....but in other ways, it was a very similar place.....a place of learning, a place of growth....and God was using circumstances, people and His Word to do that back then, just as He is using those things to teach me and grow me now.

From the mouths of babes.....(Jan 2007)

ok, I came home from swimming lessons in a self-absorbed, self-centered mood. My legs were hurting more than usual....couldn't even work out because of it. Sometimes the pain makes me grouchy and lacking sympathy for those around me.
So we get home, I reheat the dinner I fixed before we left, put the kids at the table and fall into the recliner, not even desiring to eat or be in the presence of tired kids......
they start to dig into their mac and cheese, then Abby announces that "mommy' forgot to pray....great!....something else I failed at tonight...yippee! I told her to go ahead and pray, which she very willingly did:
"dear Jesus,
thank you for this food mommy made, help it to make us strong (the usual beginning).....please help mommy not to have hurts anymore, no more headaches and leg hurts.....and please help the people who don't have any homes tonight to find a warm place to sleep.....help the people who are sick to get better.....help the people who are by themselves to find friends......thank you for dying on the cross for us....amen"

In that 20 second prayer, I was completely convicted of my selfish attitude and lack of compassion for others.....pretty disgusted that my biggest worry was a missed workout and some slightly annoying aches and pains. the windchill will be in single digits tonight and there will be people trying to sleep in that.....

....out of the mouths of babes......

thank you Lord for the sensitive heart of a 7 year old, not yet as tainted with the selfishness that I fight with every day......lesson learned :)

specifics (jan 2007)

I know how frustrated I get when people do not say exactly what they mean....when they aren't specific in letting me know exactly what they need...frustrating.

Well, I realized yesterday, that I am very hypocrytical when it comes to that.....

I was coming home last night from a SL party and realized that the road going up my mountain was very icy......I just threw up a vague prayer to God..."God, help me get up my mountain"....Well, about a quarter the way up the hill, I realized that my van (carrying myself and my 7 year old) was not going to make it. So again, I said another prayer which lacked details, expressing my desire to get home....."God, please help us to get home safe and sound".

As we slid down the hill backwards, others were coming up behind me causing things to get backed up....I continued to pray out loud, asking God to simply help us.

When I made it back to the bottom and realized that Abby and I were going to have to hike the almost mile long road home in the almost 0 degree weather, I felt a prayer come from deep down somewhere, asking God to please send someone to help us, someone to know our dilemma. As I was arranging to leave my van at the end of the road, neighbors of ours pulled up and asked if we needed help getting up the hill (they were in the group of cars that had to back up to let me down).....I graciously accepted the ride and we began our drive up the icy hill. About 1/2 way up we started to lose traction and were no longer moving forward.....again, I prayed specifically for someone to help......I looked out the window and saw my husband beside the car....he was on his way down the mountain to meet us and walk up with us. With his and my help (and the kitty litter the neighbors carried in their trunk) we made it up the hill to their house and then walked the rest of the way home. As I sat in my mil's living room, trying to get feeling in my fingers again, I realized how vague I had been with my need before God.....and how quickly He responded when I simply spoke in detail.

It's a lesson learned about really making our needs known.....and as much as I trust God, I still find it tough to be open and transparent when it comes to my needs. But how faithful He is to meet every need, to respond without hesitation when we are in crisis, to not be judgemental about WHY we are in need, just to simply come.

It is my desire to be more open with God, but also in my relationships here....in my friendships, with my family, etc. That's a tough one, but I'm willing to give it a try!

(see B, I was struggling with it WAAAAAYYYYYY back then too!!.....ongoing!!!!.....ugh!!!)

a few more....

I found a few more things to be thankful for as the day progressed......

.....a good workout at the gym (some is better than none) (24)

.....running into a friend who needed encouragement and being able to give it (25)

.....sitting in the sauna, relaxing, and listening to a friend share childhood memories (26)

.....finding a coupon in my purse to use at lunch (27)

....listening to my daughter play and the piano and seeing her smile when she surprised herself by playing it right the first time :) (28)

....watching the twin's eyes light up when the lady at the bank gave them TWO suckers each (29)

....coming home! (30)

I do have a thankful heart today....hopefully it will spur me on to accomplish many things! :)

Today is a new day!

I sat down to list more things I am grateful for last night, but could not muster up the energy to do it....that's pitiful, I know. Not that I'm not grateful for anything, just almost too tired and weary to focus in on it. But things always look better in the morning, right? That has been my motto the past couple of weeks! :) I see things more clearly today.......

.....much, much laughter last night at a bridal shower (10)

.....watching the excitement on the 'bride to be's' face (and remembering my own) (11)

.....coming home to find my twins snuggled together in the same bed (12)

.....sitting with my oldest and looking through the latest horses she colored in her favorite Amish horse book (13)

.....saying good night to hubby, even if it was through a chat box (14)

......having leftover pineapple upside down cake to bring home from the shower...one of my favorites! (15)

......a few minutes of quiet reading before going to bed (16)

......listening to the twins 'help' each other make their beds (17)

.....my Bible, opened to the exact passage I needed to read this morning (18)

.....the sun shining through a small opening in the shade in the girls room, and me opening it all the way and watching the room flood with the bright light (19)

......no snow this morning!!!! (20)

......the basket of already folded laundry by the washing machine, compliments of my mother in law (21)

......the sweet hymn that is stuck in my head, playing over and over, making me smile (22)

......the few quiet moments I had to even write this, although they are over now as my little ones begin to quarrel :) (23)

Hopefully I will have many more to share soon, as my loving God continues to bless me in the sweetest and sometimes smallest ways.
Look for the blessings today.....they are there....He promises!

The Gratitude Community

A friend of a friend seems to have started the "gratitude community" on her blog.....a group of people who are listing 1000 things they are thankful for. I have really enjoyed reading the different things people are grateful for.....it's been an encouragement. I thought about doing it too, but I feel like I can't even start one more thing.....I am feeling so completely overwhelmed that I am almost in shut down mode (where you have SO much to do that you end up doing nothing!). So even the smallest thing, with the best intentions, seem like too much.....but the more I thought about it, the more I realized that I am never too busy to be thankful. It's not just about being thankful though, because I feel pretty grateful for many things...... but it is not always my first reaction to share them with others (sharing is not my strong point in general, as has been lovingly pointed out) :) So, I thought this would be good for me, and worth the time. So here is the beginning of many.......

a great time of learning at church today/tonight (1)

a sweet baby dedication of a dear friend (2)

watching my twins eat blue cotton candy ice cream and the messy faces that came with it (3)

laughter with friends (and friend's sister!) (4)

playing Scrabble with a friend who makes me laugh (5)

I Love Lucy (6)

good night hugs from my kids (7)

a hardworking husband (8)

the living Word of God that shows me my many shortcomings, but also promises hope that I will continue to grow and find sweeter fellowship with my Savior (9)

....i don't want to do all 1000 tonight, although i feel like I could......hopefully you will be encouraged to join in on this project....it's good for the soul!! :) and for the souls of others!

John 1:24-34

Here are my sermon notes for this morning....something that spoke to me personally....

We were first challenged with the thought of having to describe a good friend of mine to a group of people who don't know her.....THEN, asking that group of people to pick her out of a crowd of 1000! That would cause me to really think about which characteristics, features, or attributes I would use to describe this friend, right?
Well, we looked at someone who had the opportunity to describe Christ to a group who really didn't know Him...a once in a lifetime chance in some aspects.....John the Baptist....he selected 3 distinguishing features of Christ to describe Him to a group of onlookers who "knew him not" {the pharisees} (1:26):

1. The Sovereign Lord....vs 26-27.."John answered them, saying, I baptize with water; but there standeth one among you, whom you know not. He it is who, coming after me, is preferred before me, whose shoe's latchet I am not worthy to loose."
Why is this important?
*so we can expose Him to a people who don't know Him
*so we can exalt Him...John the Baptist lived a life that showed Christ in the place of utmost honor (first place!!)
*so we can extol praise to Him....John 3:30 (one of my favorites), "He must increase, but i must decrease"
"Is Christ really clearly visible in my life, after almost 20 years of salvation?" (bold questions mine)

2. The Sacrificial Lamb....vs 29...."The next day John seeth Jesus coming unto him, and saith, Behold the Lamb of God, who taketh away the sin of the world"
*"BEHOLD"...(word means first look upon, then consider, then compare, then make a decision....that is a lot for one word!!)...but John is bringing attention to the person of Christ
"How many people 'behold' Christ because of me?"
*"LAMB OF GOD"....draws attention to the price He paid....ref: the Levitical system/passover Lamb (Ex 12)....I Peter 1:18-19)
*"WHICH TAKETH AWAY THE SINS OF THE WORLD"....the pardon He provided

3. The Savior longed for....vs 30-34..."This is he of whom I said, After me cometh a man who is preferred before me; for he was before me. And I knew him not; but that he should be made manifest to Israel, therefore am I come baptizing with water. And John bore witness saying, I saw the Spirit descending from heaven like a dove, and it abode upon him. And i knew him not; but he that sent me to baptize with water, the same said unto me. upon whom thou shalt see the Spirit descending, and remaining on him, the same is he who baptizeth with the Holy Spirit. And I saw, and bore witness that this is the Son of God."
what proof do we have that He is the Savior?
* the proclamation of JOHN himself; it's backed up by the inspired Word of God
*the identification of the HOLY SPIRIT (vs 32)
*the sanction of GOD THE FATHER (vs 33)...."he that sent me"...1:6 "man sent from God, whose name was John"

"What should I tell others about Jesus Christ?"

I think i get so comfortable sometimes, focusing on my own personal walk with the Lord and helping others with theirs, I am not always focused on those that don't even know Him.....which is not good for a missionary!!! But here, in my little Christian bubble, I am not often exposed (or so I tell myself) to those who don't know Him...but really, there are many, many opportunities each day to tell others about Him...so with that task before me, what will I tell them about Christ?

"For if you live according to the sinful nature, you will die, but if by the spirit you put to death the misdeeds of the body, you will live. Romans 8:13


"God has made provision for our holiness and he has also given us a responsibility for it.....God's provision for us consists in delivering us from the reign of sin, uniting us with Christ, and giving us the indwelling Holy Spirit to reveal sin, to create a desire for holiness, and to strengthen us in our pursuit of holiness...........{it's obvious the Holy Spirit has a crucial part in our pursuit toward holiness, but it is also clear, from the above passage, that} God puts the responsibility for living a holy life squarely on us. We are to do something. We are not to "stop trying and start trusting": we are to put to death the misdeeds of the body. Over and over again in the epistles - not only Paul's but the other apostles' as well - we are commanded to assume our responsibility for a holy walk......(Colossians 3;5, Hebrews 12:1, James 4:7, II Peter 3:14)
During a certain part of my Christian life I thought that any effort on my part to live a holy life was "of the flesh" and that "the flesh profits for nothing." I thought God would not bless any effort on my part to live the Christian life, just as He would not bless any effort on my part to become a Christian by good works........
How foolish I was. I misconstrued dependence on the Holy Spirit to mean I was to make no effort, that I had no responsibility. I mistakenly thought if I turned it all over to the Lord, He would make my choices for me and would choose obedience over disobedience. All I needed was to look to Him for holiness. But this is not God's way. He makes provision for our holiness, but He gives us the responsibility of using those provisions. The Holy Spirit has been given to all Christians. Dr Martin Lloyd-Jones says, "The Holy Spirit is in us; He is working in us, and empowering us, giving us the ability....This is the NT teaching - work our your own salvation with fear and trembling. We have to do so. But note the accompaniment - Because it is God that worketh in you, both to will and to do of His good pleasure! The Holy Spirit is working in us 'both to will and to do'. It is because I am not left to myself, it is because I am not 'absolutely hopeless' since the Spirit is in me, that I am exhorted to work out my own salvation with fear and trembling".
We must rely on the Spirit in our putting to death the deeds of the body......But our reliance on the Spirit is not intended to foster an attitude of "I cant do it," but one of "I can do it through Him who strengthens me." The Christian should never complain of want of ability and power. If we sin, it is because we choose to sin, not because we lack the ability to say no to the temptation.
It is time for us Christians to face up to our responsibility of holiness. Too often we say we are defeated by this or that sin. No, we are not defeated, we are simply disobedient! It might be well if we stop using the terms 'victory' and 'defeat' to describe our progress in holiness. Rather we should use the terms 'obedience' and 'disobedience'. When I say I am defeated by sin, I am unconsciously slipping out from under my responsibility. I am saying something outside of me has defeated me. But when I say I am disobedient, that places the responsibility for my sin squarely on me. We may, in fact, be defeated, but the reason we are defeated is because we have chosen to disobey. We have chosen to entertain lustful thoughts, or to harbor resentment, or to shade the truth a little.
We need to brace ourselves up, and to realize that we are responsible for our thoughts, attitudes, and actions. We need to reckon on the fact that we died to sin's reign, that it no longer has any dominion over us, that God has unitied us with the risen Christ in all His power, and has given us the Holy Spirit to work in us. Only as we accept our responsibility and appropriate God's provisions will we make any progress in our pursuit of holiness."

I know these aren't my thoughts, but those of Bridges, but it was a good reminder of our responsibility in seeking the life of holiness, which we are called to. Many times we (I) can convince myself that we have a harder struggle because of this or that, but really, we are all called to a life that completely and wholly honors the Lord....and we all have the same resources. That should be a daily reminder for me!!!

Home again....

So, I am home again from a week + trip out of town to visit a dear friend.....it is good to be home, although not so good to face the 'to do' pile waiting on me here! Makes me miss the lazy days of last week already!! But there is a time for everything....a time to work, and a time to rest....now is the day of work. But it is a good work....one that signifies change and a new beginning. We are only a month away from making the move to the 'wild west' and begin our full time ministry among the Navajo people. I am very excited as it has been desire of mine for almost 15 years now! I can't believe it's within reach now....the Lord is good to order our steps, even if we dont' always understand the timing or the reason. That was very evident even this past week: I was supposed to come back home on Tuesday, but my flight was canceled due to weather....at least that's what it said up on the board above the flight check-in desk. I soon came to realize that was not the real reason....God had more for me...but I guess it would have been weird for the sign to say "flight canceled because Christy was a goober and didn't quite get everything I wanted her to see during this week of stretching and learning!".....He's good like that!
So, I stayed an extra day, finally got a better glimpse into His plan for me, and was allowed to return home the next day! I'm a slow learner!
But sometimes the reason for delays or obstacles are not always so easy to see. My flight being canceled was pretty obvious after the rest of the day unfolded.....but things like 'having to wait so long to get to the mission field that God has laid on my heart' are not so easy to see....I'm not really confident I know why I was to remain here in "Wild Wonderful" West Virginia for so long, all the while, the ministry out west went shorthanded and in great need. God hasn't chosen to give such a clear reason as to why we had to go the 'slow' route, so to say. But I am confident that it was for a reason....one I am not able to articulate, but one that I know was designed by Him specifically.....so in that I can have peace. In some ways it makes me all the more excited to go, knowing that NOW is the appointed time for us to be there.....I am looking forward to what He brings before us in the way of ministry.
So, with all that said, although I miss the days of veggin' in front of Biggest Loser and American Idol.....of laying in bed and reading.....of sitting on porch swings....and moments of true refreshing....I am eager to get back to the busyness.....especially the busyness that will bring me closer to my heart's desire.....missions!

ps....I did end up finishing that book on friendships before I left to come home......I need to finish my thoughts on it.....don't want all the thoughts to slowly slip away!!! it happens all too often!! :)

the 5k journey continues....

Well, here we are at the beginning of April, a month away from the race. At this point I am supposed to be running the 3 miles, which can be discouraging since I haven't run in almost 2 weeks and the last time I DID run, I was barely squeezing out 2 miles! But I got up this morning and headed to the gym, determined to get back on track. I thought I would just run on the actual track this time (as opposed to the treadmill) and just try and run 3 miles and see how far I could get........and lo and behold, I did it!! I ran 3 miles! Who would have thought???!!! Now how QUICK (or should I say slow) I ran it was pretty pitiful, but at least now I know I can do it.....I could at least finish the race if it were tomorrow. And even though I am slightly competitive, I really am not at all trying to win this race.....I realize how impossible that is.....but I just want to finish. So, hopefully I will be able to do that now!
And when I went upstairs and tried to do the rest of my work out, I was good for nothing! But that's ok....to be expected when I havent' hardly moved in the last week!!! I'll get back to the gym tomorrow and try to make a little more progress.....30 days til the race!!!