This year has not started off well for me.....
I usually look forward to a new year....a new slate....new goals and a new 'to do' list. This year didn't start off like that....
We just finished up a 7 week trip at the end of 2010...it left us "unpacked" and going into Christmas in a tornado-like fashion. Christmas game and went (along with the many ministry commitments), and then the Winter Retreat was upon us. Don't get me wrong....it was a wonderful retreat and I had a blast, but the late nights and the long talks left me somewhat weary. The new year came in right after that, and with it came sicknesses (me, Wes, and Hannah), car problems, broken water pipes, problems with the mission, and continued health problems.
As of today, not much of the above has changed (thankfully the water pipe issue is fixed!!), but I've decided to stop letting circumstances affect me in a negative way any longer. EVERY DAY is a new day, a clean slate....an opportunity to set new goals and to mark things off my list. "His mercies are new every morning..."
So tomorrow will be my "new" new year....the fresh start I missed 16 days ago.
I've made my menus, I've started my exercise program again, I've got my list organized and ready to tackle, school is under way, and the 'excitement' I lacked before is finally giving me that 'push' I need....
Here's to 2011....:)
Sunday, January 16, 2011
Saturday, January 8, 2011
Sometimes i can get really discouraged in this ministry. I know I shouldn't....I should focus on the goodness of God and not on the circumstances or even the lack of 'fruit'....but sometimes it does hit me and I think, "why am I doing this?" It doesnt' happen often, but discouragement in the ministy does happen every now and then.
The past few days I have received some pretty discouraging news about some teens and families that I have worked with in the past. Seems it always comes in "waves". It's the classic 2 steps forward, one step (sometimes two steps) back. I think of the time and energy invested in those people and get bummed that it seems all a waste. Even though I know, deep down inside, it's not a waste....that we, as Christians are supposed to continue to do good.....my flesh feels the sadness and the frustration in it all.
Even tonight, as I sat at a local restaurant celebrating a friend's birthday, I found myself overcome with that discouragement. One friend shared news of a former camp staff that has strayed away from God.....at the same time, the 'birthday girl', someone I have counseled, studied the Word with, and spent hours listening to her, ordered her second round of drinks and made plans to go out dancing at a local club later. My heart was heavy the rest of the evening....the drive home was long.....my night is sleepless.
I am discouraged, yet, at the same time, I am not overcome.....I am saddened, but i am not defeated. I know that tomorrow I will still get up, head to town and to a basketball game (the birthday girl's daughter's game) and I will continue on in relationships....even the ones that are hard.....knowing that God is faithful and I am not to grow weary in doing good. I will continue to love, to teach, to encourage and to exhaust myself in the Lord's work....failure or success will not change who God is.....
BUT, Lord, if you see fit to bring along some encouragement and even a little bit of "fruit", I will be ever so thankful..... :)
The past few days I have received some pretty discouraging news about some teens and families that I have worked with in the past. Seems it always comes in "waves". It's the classic 2 steps forward, one step (sometimes two steps) back. I think of the time and energy invested in those people and get bummed that it seems all a waste. Even though I know, deep down inside, it's not a waste....that we, as Christians are supposed to continue to do good.....my flesh feels the sadness and the frustration in it all.
Even tonight, as I sat at a local restaurant celebrating a friend's birthday, I found myself overcome with that discouragement. One friend shared news of a former camp staff that has strayed away from God.....at the same time, the 'birthday girl', someone I have counseled, studied the Word with, and spent hours listening to her, ordered her second round of drinks and made plans to go out dancing at a local club later. My heart was heavy the rest of the evening....the drive home was long.....my night is sleepless.
I am discouraged, yet, at the same time, I am not overcome.....I am saddened, but i am not defeated. I know that tomorrow I will still get up, head to town and to a basketball game (the birthday girl's daughter's game) and I will continue on in relationships....even the ones that are hard.....knowing that God is faithful and I am not to grow weary in doing good. I will continue to love, to teach, to encourage and to exhaust myself in the Lord's work....failure or success will not change who God is.....
BUT, Lord, if you see fit to bring along some encouragement and even a little bit of "fruit", I will be ever so thankful..... :)
Monday, January 3, 2011
Putting Feet to Our Prayers
I would not say that my prayer life is the greatest.....out of all of my spiritual disciplines, that one is probably the weakest. I'm faithful to pray for friends and family when they need it, but as far as a "talking with the Lord" and really just conversing and opening up to Him, I don't do that as well.
But my friend Nanette, she is a prayer machine! She is actually amazing at most aspects of a spiritual life.....I love to spend time with her because she challenges me, encourages me, teaches me, listens to me.....when I walk away, I feel like I want to go and dive into the Word, read a book, write in my journal, etc. I've learned many different things from this dear friend....to write down everything would take weeks. Just our discussions on Romans alone would fill a book! But recently, I learned a very simple yet valuable lesson from her.....
We were at our weekly prayer meeting. Everyone was sharing requests....some heavy, some more practical. Bruce, our maintenance guy shared one in particular. He had lost his glasses while working one day....as a result, he could no longer drive and some of his normal day to day things. He didn't seem too distraught, but I knew he wanted to find them badly. They were very particular prescriptions so he really didn't want to go through the hassle of going to Phx (where his eye doctor was) and getting a new pair. So I wrote it down, we prayed for that and the many other requests from the morning, and then all went on our separate ways. Later that day, I was walking on camp and Nanette drove past me, asking if I had seen Bruce. I hadn't, but asked her if I could help. She said that she has been at the maintenance shop for the past hour or so, looking for his glasses....she had found a pair and wanted to know if they were his. She drove off, continuing her search for Bruce and I continued my walk home. But the whole time, I was struck by what she had done. All of us had heard his request, wrote it down in our prayer journals, then left......Nanette did all of that PLUS, decided to go down to the shop and actually LOOK for them. It seemed like such a simple thing, yet I was struck by the simple obedience and faith of it all. How often do I hear a request, or much less, MAKE a request and then just sit back and wait for it. Now I am a firm believer of "expecting" great things out of God, but how many times do I expect Him to do it all, while I just sit back, lazily, and wait.
Nanette showed me that God actually expects great things from us as well....that was kinda mind boggling to me at that moment....even though it is a simple truth. Nanette put feet to her prayers and instead of sitting around and waiting for the glasses to magically appear, she got up, put aside her scheduled tasks for the day and went looking for the lost glasses. She put her own agenda aside for the needs of others and she allowed God to use her, in a very humble way. Even when I tried to tell her this, she blew it off and said anyone of us would have done it. The thing is, we didn't.....she did. And in that small act, she taught me so much about our relationship with God, the Almighty.
And just to say, I found out later that the pair of glasses she found did not belong to Bruce....so she went back down there again and spent a big chunk of time looking, until she finally found them. :)
But my friend Nanette, she is a prayer machine! She is actually amazing at most aspects of a spiritual life.....I love to spend time with her because she challenges me, encourages me, teaches me, listens to me.....when I walk away, I feel like I want to go and dive into the Word, read a book, write in my journal, etc. I've learned many different things from this dear friend....to write down everything would take weeks. Just our discussions on Romans alone would fill a book! But recently, I learned a very simple yet valuable lesson from her.....
We were at our weekly prayer meeting. Everyone was sharing requests....some heavy, some more practical. Bruce, our maintenance guy shared one in particular. He had lost his glasses while working one day....as a result, he could no longer drive and some of his normal day to day things. He didn't seem too distraught, but I knew he wanted to find them badly. They were very particular prescriptions so he really didn't want to go through the hassle of going to Phx (where his eye doctor was) and getting a new pair. So I wrote it down, we prayed for that and the many other requests from the morning, and then all went on our separate ways. Later that day, I was walking on camp and Nanette drove past me, asking if I had seen Bruce. I hadn't, but asked her if I could help. She said that she has been at the maintenance shop for the past hour or so, looking for his glasses....she had found a pair and wanted to know if they were his. She drove off, continuing her search for Bruce and I continued my walk home. But the whole time, I was struck by what she had done. All of us had heard his request, wrote it down in our prayer journals, then left......Nanette did all of that PLUS, decided to go down to the shop and actually LOOK for them. It seemed like such a simple thing, yet I was struck by the simple obedience and faith of it all. How often do I hear a request, or much less, MAKE a request and then just sit back and wait for it. Now I am a firm believer of "expecting" great things out of God, but how many times do I expect Him to do it all, while I just sit back, lazily, and wait.
Nanette showed me that God actually expects great things from us as well....that was kinda mind boggling to me at that moment....even though it is a simple truth. Nanette put feet to her prayers and instead of sitting around and waiting for the glasses to magically appear, she got up, put aside her scheduled tasks for the day and went looking for the lost glasses. She put her own agenda aside for the needs of others and she allowed God to use her, in a very humble way. Even when I tried to tell her this, she blew it off and said anyone of us would have done it. The thing is, we didn't.....she did. And in that small act, she taught me so much about our relationship with God, the Almighty.
And just to say, I found out later that the pair of glasses she found did not belong to Bruce....so she went back down there again and spent a big chunk of time looking, until she finally found them. :)
Sunday, January 2, 2011
A New Year
Usually I am beside myself with excitement for this time of year....I love a clean slate, list making, setting goals...all the things that come with a new year. But for some reason, this year, I am very low key about it. I'm thinking it's because over the past few years, I have been met with pretty significant failure in all my "goal setting" and the like. I have not had the usual success rate in this area since I've moved to the full time mission field. Not really sure why.....I do know that my plate is MUCH fuller than it has been in years past. I WANT to do things that will improve my life (lose weight, read more, spend more time with family), but when it comes down to it, basically all I can do is keep my head above water and just do the next thing. I'm tired.....
So this year I am hesitant to make my usual lists and goals....
Maybe I will get more motivated after a few days of rest....
I do have ideas....I do want to lose weight, exercise more, play more games with my kids, take time for friends, get more sleep, read more non-fiction, pray more, learn to play the guitar, etc.....Lord give me wisdom as I seek to do the things that glorify You....you have given me 'time', help me to use it in the best way!
So this year I am hesitant to make my usual lists and goals....
Maybe I will get more motivated after a few days of rest....
I do have ideas....I do want to lose weight, exercise more, play more games with my kids, take time for friends, get more sleep, read more non-fiction, pray more, learn to play the guitar, etc.....Lord give me wisdom as I seek to do the things that glorify You....you have given me 'time', help me to use it in the best way!
WInter Retreat
Well, we just finished up a 5 day winter retreat here.....what a great ministry (and an exhausting one!). We started on Monday and what is usually an hour long registration ended up being a 4 1/2 hour long one....we had more kids (double!) than we have ever had....180 teens showed up...wow! At first we started a waiting list (some kids even decided to go home because of the long wait) but then we just decided to take everyone and trust in the Lord to provide the room, the food and the staff.....and of course, He provided. It was very cramped but "cozy" seemed to work for us! It was a blast!
And along with the large number of campers and the crowded dining room, there also came more ministry opportunities. I can't begin to tell all the talks I had with campers, all the struggles I heard about, all the pain that they carry. But the Lord was good and through lack of sleep, my foggy brain, and my many responsibilities, I loved every minute of it....and the promises and the Word of God are so powerful and amazing.
Although the retreat is over (although it was extended a day due to a huge snow storm), our work is not. I will be in touch with several of the girls I spent time with....some will just be accountability, some more intense (dealing with physical abuse issues, parental problems, etc)....I am praying for a GREAT deal of wisdom over these next days, weeks and months. It seems like I am never allowed to forget the many, many needs out here among the native american people....but that's a good thing, I guess.....it keeps me from getting lazy or nonchalant in my responsibilities to share the love and power of Christ. I look forward to every opportunity!
(and I also look forward to catching up on sleep!!)
And along with the large number of campers and the crowded dining room, there also came more ministry opportunities. I can't begin to tell all the talks I had with campers, all the struggles I heard about, all the pain that they carry. But the Lord was good and through lack of sleep, my foggy brain, and my many responsibilities, I loved every minute of it....and the promises and the Word of God are so powerful and amazing.
Although the retreat is over (although it was extended a day due to a huge snow storm), our work is not. I will be in touch with several of the girls I spent time with....some will just be accountability, some more intense (dealing with physical abuse issues, parental problems, etc)....I am praying for a GREAT deal of wisdom over these next days, weeks and months. It seems like I am never allowed to forget the many, many needs out here among the native american people....but that's a good thing, I guess.....it keeps me from getting lazy or nonchalant in my responsibilities to share the love and power of Christ. I look forward to every opportunity!
(and I also look forward to catching up on sleep!!)
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