.....a great finish (462)
....the end of a long headache (463)
....a clean house (464)
....saying good bye (465)
....sleeping in (466)
....laying on the couch with my kids (467)
....getting away (468)
.....a few minutes with a friend (469)
....getting back in touch (470)
....the promise of a day at the beach (471)
.....a cooler day (472)
.....the opportunity to worship (473)
.....reuniting with dear friends (474)
.....unspoken encouragement (475)
....fresh staff coming in (476)
....veggin' with my kids and a movie (477)
....falling asleep (478)
....a new day (479)....and a day of worship (480)

The Fruit of the Spirit

As you leave the whole burden of your sin, and rest upon the atoning work of Christ, so leave the whole burden of your life and service and rest upon the present inworking of the Holy Spirit.

Give yourself up morning by morning, to be led by the Holy Spirit, and go forward praising and at rest, leaving Him to manage you and your day. Cultivate the habit, all through the day of joyfully depending upon and obeying Him, expecting Him to guide, to enlighten, to reprove, to teach, to use, to do in and with you, what He will.

Count upon His working, as a fact, altogether apart from sight or feeling. Only let us believe in and obey the Holy Spirit as the RULER of our lives, and cease from the burden of trying to manage ourselves, then shall the fruit of the Spirit - love, joy, peace, long suffering, kindness, meekness, self-control, appear in us, as HE will, to the glory of God.

(BABR staff manual)

.....little sleep, but time to pray (441)
.....my daughter being old enough to help out more (442)
....the 12 year old 'mini-me' that follows me around (443)
....the opportunity to be an example (444)
....a visit from a new friend (445)
....Lois, who has helped me lots this week (446)
....hugs (447)
.....laughter during cabin scores (448)
....seeing growth in our staff (449)
....the 'opportunity' for growth in others (450)
....peter being mostly healthy again (451)
....a husband who doesn't mind doing the 'yucky' jobs, like going to the dump each week (452)
....friends coming in this weekend (453)
....a quick but good talk with my pastor's wife (454)
....my kids being able to have a couple of "pajama" days (455)
....safety at mission impossible last night (456)
....being exactly where God wants me to be (457)
....Colossians (458)
.....the short, but often quiet walk to my house from the camp (459)
....the comfort of God (460)
....the fact that He listens to me, unconditionally (461)

....a new day (418)
....the opportunity to be an example (419)
....bacon! (420)
....more down time than expected (421)
....horses (422)
....hard work (423)
....my bike (424)
....swamp coolers (425)
....impacting lives for Christ (426)
....a 10 minute nap (427)
...a husband who helps out....LOTS (428)
...my Bible and all the notes in it (429)
....campers who are learning Scriptures (430)
....the possibility of getting my own horse (431)
....camp cooks and all the meals they make (432)
...a Tulsa workteam member who is coming back this summer to serve (433)
....responsibility and the grace to deal with it (434)
....clean laundry (435)
....sleepy children (436)
....acting like a kid at the water fight (437)
....great worship music at chapel (438)
....encouragement (439)
....tiredness (440)

It doesn't take much....

I was reminded of something today....EVERYONE needs encouragement. Sometimes (i'm speaking for myself, too) I think we tend to only try to encourage those who 'look' like they need it. If someone looks down, lost, sad, troubled....we are pretty quick to offer help and words of encouragement. But then there are the people who seldom looked troubled....who are always in the spotlight.....leaders....they have an air of confidence about them....they seem to be in complete control of things....people are often drawn to them. I realized today that they may need encouragement too....not that they are faking their joy, their confidence or appearance of control....it may all be true and real. But there may still be a need for a kind word, a promise to pray, a shared verse of Scripture. It may not take much to touch a secret hurt, or lessen a pain that they are too busy to deal with.
I learned that today, when an unexpected friend stopped me as I hurried from one place to another to ask how I was doing....stopped to ask if there was something particular she could pray about. I know I probably looked silly as I stood there and stuttered for a moment....I was speechless. I know people pray for me....I have a huge support team of people who are committed to pray for us on a daily basis...it is such an encouragement to know that they are there. But then it's another thing to have someone tangibly standing in front of you, wanting to hear about how you are really doing and how they can encourage you.....it says a lot. And if I had stood there any longer, I probably would have gotten misty-eyed....it was a sweet gift from God. And although this friend has no idea what that meant to me (I didn't really feel the impact until later), I am so thankful that she took the time. And I want to challenge you to take the time to encourage those around you...the ones that "look" like they need it, and even the ones that don't look like it. Be a blessing!

.....little sleep, but feeling rested (402)
....memory verses (403)
....sweet time with the Lord this morning (404)
....seeing my sin, but focusing on His grace (405)
....a new day (406)
.....a quiet, slow morning (407)
....but the busy ministry facing me today (408)
.....forgiveness (409)
.....my children playing quietly...that's rare (410)
.....encouragement from friends (411)
.....great worship music (412)
.....the lives of Noah, Esther, David, Paul and many other great biblical leaders, that inspire me to continue on (413)
.....campers lined up outside the snack shop....ready to hear about their need for a Savior (414)
....supporters who lift us in prayer (415)
.....my heritage (416)
....tears of thankfulness (417)

What if...?

Every week here at BABR, we have a work team come and help us with our many needs here at the camp. At the beginning of the week, our staff spends time getting to know the work team....we get about 1 minute to talk to each member and gather as much info in that time as we can.
Well last week, while making my way through the line, I met a very interesting young girl. As I stood in front of her, trying to extract information out of her, I had an strange feeling I was looking in a mirror. Although we physically looked nothing alike, I couldn't shake the feeling that we were very similar. She had a "tough" girl attitude...she looked like she could take almost any of our guys in an arm wrestling match....she hardly said 2 words and I had to work to get those.....and trying to extract a smile seemed like an impossible task. I know few of you knew me as a young person, but i would have described myself very much like that.
But there was something about her that was very different from the younger me....she had a quiet, peaceful, yet confident spirit about her. And although most of our staff didn't really know how to approach her, I spent my time seeking her out, drawing her out. It took hardly no time before she was talking and smiling....and her love for the Lord became more and more evident as well. And that is when the question struck me: "What if I had become a Christian as a young person....what would that have looked like?"....."Would it have looked a lot like this young girl?" Although I am thankful for the life God gave me and I am confident of the path He led me down, meeting this young girl made me just wonder, what would it have looked like and where would I be today? Again, I wouldn't trade what I have today for anything, but there is a part of me that is sad I didn't begin my journey with the Lord earlier.
But if nothing else, it made my desire to spread the Gospel and disciple young women even stronger....
thank you, Lord.....for your perfect plan....and for the reminders of your faithfulness. Help me never to take it for granted....

Memory verses

Last week, the workteam from Tulsa challenged our campers with some memory verses. Their theme was "Souled Out" and the verses all reflect people who were, at one time at least, 'souled out' for God. It was a good reminder...and it was awesome to hear the campers all week quoting Scripture! At least 60 of them memorized all of them....that's 60 children who are now a little more equipped to face the trials they will be going home to....Praise the Lord!!
I'm trying to improve my Scripture memory, so I will try to keep track here (so don't hesitate to keep me accountable!).....

Souled Out....."Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all of your soul and with all of your mind and with all of your strength." Mark 12:30

Adam and Eve....."so God created man in His own image; in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them." Genesis 1:27

Noah: Obedient to God's Commands...."Thus Noah did; according to all that God commanded him, so he did" Genesis 6:22

Esther: Queen of Persia....."For if you remain completely silent at this time, relief and deliverance will arise for the Jews from another place, but you and your father's house will perish." Esther 4:14

David: Man After God's Own Heart......"For the Lord does not see as man sees; for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart" 1 Samuel 16:7

Daniel: Wise Man of God....."But Daniel purposed in his heart that he would not defile himself" Daniel 1:8

Jesus: Hope, Healer, and Savior....."The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. i have come that they may have life and that they may have it more abundantly." John 10:10

Paul: Follower of Christ...."For to me, to live is Christ, and to die is gain." Philippians 1:21

......sleeping in (384)
.....lazy mornings (385)
......reading time on the long drive to town (386)
.....beautiful worship music (387)
.....church friends (388)
.....conviction...ugh! (389)
.....lunch with friends (390)
....laughter (391)
.....the provisions of the Lord (392)
.....my kids enjoying those provisions (393)
.....more reading time (394)
....a quiet house (395)
.....another nice long walk (396)
.....being able to listen to God (397)
.....anticipation of meeting the new work team (398)
.....an afternoon baseball game (399)
.....a good Father's Day (400)
.....my Heavenly Father (401)...i know I was grateful for that yesterday...but I'm even more grateful today!

Officially the last transferred blog....I'm done!!

This is the last entry from my old blog (that nobody ever read..ha!)....now it's fresh new stuff from here on out :)

this is just a story someone wrote......the short version......thought it was interesting..... no biggie (MAY 2007)

For the most part, you lived a good life.....things went fairly smooth and you were reasonably happy. Then one day, for no reason, you are thrown into a dark, damp, cold basement. It's a horrible place....people come in and out.....they break your things that are precious to you, say and do mean things, seem to enjoy inflicting pain, etc. At first, you are constantly looking for a way of escape, you are consumed with the thought of getting away from it.....but eventually, you accept it as your life and you simply endure.........you just exist.

But then one day, for no real reason, Someone opens the door and you are able to climb out, into the Light. It's amazing, refreshing, exhilerating! Your newfound freedom is wonderful and you flourish in it. A Rescuer has come, finally!

You begin to meet different people, even begin to enjoy people again.......some begin to ask about the basement you used to live in.....you are very reluctant at first, but eventually you agree to take them there.
Some people seem almost too eager.....as soon as you open the door, they bound down the stairs and start looking around, kicking the debris around, digging through it, hoping to find something interesting, but usually leave bored and disappointed.......
Some people take a little more time entering in, trying to act careful and cautious....but they begin to ask lots of questions about 'how' things got broken, 'why' is it such a mess, 'who' did it all......they don't ask because the care, just because they want to know......and when they get their answers, they too leave disappointed.....only wanting to know what happened, not interested in helping clean it up.
But finally, someone comes along who asks to see those places of your life....the dark basement where you spent so many years....by this time, you are almost numb to it... you don't even really care anymore.....you expect the hurtful result that is bound to come.
But instead of bounding down the stairs, she carefully starts to climb down, reaching back to take your hand, sensing your apprehension and fear of going back down there....she is the only one who ever noticed that.
You carefully follow her down the stairs and then watch her as she stands in the middle of the room, taking in all the disaster that surrounds her....... you quietly wait for the questions to begin, for the rummaging to start....but she says nothing. Instead, she quietly and carefully begins to touch things....not in the way that others did, so carelessly.....but in a very gentle way.....running her fingers over the once soft blanket that used to cover you at night, carefully picking up the broken pieces of your shattered keepsakes that were so viciously destroyed long ago......
You watch in amazement at the tender way she handles your 'mess'.....you watch as her eyes well up with tears at the very slightest thought of your hurt...... there is something familiar about the way she has handles the things in your dark basement...... how she handles your fear, your hurt, your shame, your brokeness.....
then it hits you......your Rescuer had that same gentleness and tenderness when He first brought you out of the darkness and into the Light...... they are very similar.....

the dark doesn't seem so dark anymore, the fear is slowly being replaced with a small peace....there is even a soft breeze flowing through..... it doesn't seem as cold and damp as it did before....
it's a good thing..... the two of you often go back there to just sit and talk.....the Rescuer often joins you too.....it's no longer a scary place, but it is becoming a beautiful room, full of new keepsakes and lots of Light.

More old blogs from xanga......

here are a couple more old posts that I'm transferring over.....I really am almost done now....:)

(MAY 2007)

Make every effort

taken from Beautiful Offering.......just putting it out her in case anyone may need to hear it today

"Therefore if you are offering you gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift." (matt.5:23-24)

"Last week I was running errands like a wild woman, and just as I was about to hop out of the car at the post office, I turned on the radio long enough to hear a man quote from the book of Hebrews. He said: 'Make every effort to live in peace with all men' (12:14)
That was all I heard, turned it off, and kept plowing through my list.

A little while later, I was waiting at an intersection when a woman I have known for the past few years drove up beside me. Either she didn't see me or chose not to look at me, but either way, my seeing her was a poignant reminder. I had been in a freindship with her that didn't end so well. I never quite knew where she went or why.
It's amazing how God uses the powerful words of Scripture to stop us dead in our tracks and rearrange our thoughts. Just after I had spotted my withdrawn friend, my head began screaming, angela, you are not at peace with that woman and you have to do something about it. Make every effort, remember?
Not always so quick to obey the promptings of the Holy Spirit, I went to the grocery store and then to the bank, but God wouldn't leave me alone. I was pretty sure that He wanted me to call this woman I hadn't talked to in six months. My stomach hurt while I punched her number into my cell phone. Some days, obedience makes you feel nauseated.
She answered and the conversation went something like this:
'Hello.'
'Hey, this is Angela.' I tried to muster up some confidence.
'Oh,' she said. I knew immedieaately this wasn't going to be good, but I went for it anyway.
'I'm calling because I just saw you at an intersection about an hour ago, and I felt stupid. I'm calling to see if there is anything I can do to help things between us end differently or better. I don't want to feel stupid the rest of my life, so can we talk about what happened? Can we talk about what didn't happen? Could I say anything or listen in a way that would help?'
'I didn't see you at the intersection,' she offered with little emotion.
'That is ok. I just want things to be different between us. I want us to be at peace.'
'Well, I'm on my way to my son's football game. I didn't see that it was you when I answered the phone. I thought it was someone else.'
'Sounds like I caught you at a bad time.' I said, feeling triple stupid.
'yeah, gotta go'.
'Ok, bye.'
click. No good-bye. No 'i'll call you back'. No hope that this will ever be staightened out. I could have just about run to the bathroom and lost it. I felt more sick than before I called. And I wasn't too happy with God either.
I mean, I have enough stress. Grayson has an Indian project due with modeling clay and I am not crafty. I have to figure out how to send my taxes to the federal government next month. The hall upstairs needs painting. Every kid in this house needs winter uniforms for school. I haven't spent enough time with the friends that I love! Good night! There is enough pressure and guilt in my life to last me decades. I did not need to hear the disheartening voice of a woman who is cold toward me. It ruined my day. What was God doing? ANd what was I thinking?
I was thinking about these verses. ANd I was thinking that if I could reconcile with that woman, that it would bless God.
SO what now God? Ok, i remember someone who had a grudge against me, and I went to her. It was obviously a bust. What do I do with the offering of my life if I have left it at the altar and gone to be reconciled, but she is unwilling? you know, I've tried with her before. I don't think she is coming around anytime soon. So do I just stand here biding my time, waiting for the offering of my life to be acceptable when she changes her heart? Tell me what to do with this verse. tell me where to go from here.
Maybe you can tell that i was a little miffed with the prompting to call an angry woman. I felt like screaming, 'I want my life to be a beautiful offering to You, but I don't know what to do with this!' I think I prayed. I probably whined.
But here is the lesson I believe God gave to me. There are 3 instructions for us in these verses:
First, acknowledge your sin to yourself and to God. When you and I remember that there is someone who has a grudge against us, it is our responsibility to own the part we play in the disagreement, misunderstanding or conflict.
Second, move toward the person. we can hide, cover, or run from our responsibility in relationships for the rest of our lives. But God is calling us, very specifically in these verses to move toward the one who is offended or hurt or misunderstood.
Third, go immediately. That means pretty soon. You know, right after it has come to your mind. Waiting 3 years is not immediately.

My daughter was in the car with me and had just had an encounter that was difficult. I said, 'Call that person right now and try to make it right.'
She said, 'I don't think I can.'
'I know it stinks, but one of the characteristics of a Christian is that we try to resolve quickly,' I offered.
'Did you just make that up?' she asked.
'Jesus made it up and said, As you go, look like this.'
'Sometimes this is hard,' she mumbled as she reached for her cell phone.
'Most of the time, this one is hard for Mom too'.

Days went by and I continued to reflect on my desire to live these verses with my grumpy friend. I decide that I had followed the instruction, even though reluctantly. We just didn't get to the reconciled part. And honestly, unless she comes to a softer place, there may never be reconciliation. I felt so stuck about what to do with my offering. Can I still bring it to God if we never reconcile?
Then I remembered the Hebrew passage on the radio that had initially prompted my call. The writer had said, 'Make every effort.' When I put these divine words from God together, then I get,
Make every effort to acknowledge your own sin.
Make every effort to move toward the injustice.
Make every effort to reconcile immediately.
That's all we can do. Make every effort to honor the words of Jesus. Check your own heart. Respond in obedience. ANd then REST (capitol and italics mine!). I can only be responsible for me, and you are only responsible for you.
A man I know wrote down the the three things he was most thankful for. After God and family, he said that he was thankful for a clear conscience. His gratefulness spoke to me. When you and I have made every effort in a relationship, then we are clear, the heart is pure, and the offering is acceptable."

Great comfort in shared pain (May 2007)

We are currently on deputation to raise support to get to the field on a full-time basis.....it has been a long, hard road at times, but the Lord has been so good to bring some amazing blessings along the way. I have met many wonderful people and have had the opportunity to see God work in some awesome ways......overall, it has been a good thing.

But one seemingly downfall is that it has hindered me having a 'regular' ministry at my church or in my community. Because we travel so much and are often gone from our home church, it hasn't been feesible for me to hold a position in the church.....that has been hard for me. As long as I can remember, I have done something in our church....taught Sunday school, been in the choir, worked in the youth group.....but that hasn't been the case the past couple of years. I miss it. I felt like if I wasn't doing something specific, then I wasn't ministering or doing the work of the Lord.

It seemed like a downfall to this deputation thing, but really it was one of the amazing blessings.

Because I haven't been focused on a specific ministry, I have slowly seen the other ministries that have been and are today surrounding me.......the ministry of hurting women. It's everywhere.....I can't imagine how I never really saw it before. But it didn't take long, after I was no longer focusing on any particular church ministries, that I began to see the many women around me who were in need of God's comfort, wisdom, forgiveness, healing...some needs were greater than others, but they were in need nonetheless.

I was recently talking about it to a dear friend in CA.....she already has an amazing ministry with women.....and the more I saw her working there, and the more she would share about what the Lord was doing in it, the more open I was becoming to the whole idea. Because in all honesty, working with little kids and youth seemed much easier and safer for me....that ministry didn't require a whole lot of transparency on my part....they mostly needed instruction and encouragement....that was an easy thing for me to do. But I was finding out that working with other women was much different....as much as I didn't want it to be, they needed more. They needed me to be open and transparent.....it's the way we are wired, I guess. They need a level of intimacy that children don't neccesarily need.....and that was hard for me at times.

But my CA friend has been such an encouragement and example to me in that area.....not at first though. When she would say it was one of the keys to the success of her ministry, I thought, 'maybe for you, but I don't think that is what I need to do'......:) My ministry seemed to be going just fine.....I was enjoying the counseling aspect of it and it seemed to be working for me. But eventually, the Lord started slowly working on me......putting those opportunities right in front of me, where I actually had to make a real decision to go a little deeper, on my part, with them. And it wasn't always about being open with my struggles or my hurts......that was hard at times, but I had come to a point where I could see the good in sharing what the Lord had brought me through and who He became to me in all of that. But for me, it was an issue of being open and exposed to who I really was....right now, today.....for some reason that was harder for me. It was easier to just get to know them, hear their heartaches and hurts.....but slowly, I began to see the importance in doing the same.....there is often greater comfort in shared pain. I am a firm believer in that now......I was a slow learner, but now a firm believer.

I have literally watched my CA friend minister.....I've sat under her teaching, I've listened to her speak to large groups of women, I've watched her meet ladies at the altar to pray.....we can be in a crowd of women and I've seen her seek out someone, begin to talk, laugh, and before long be holding them as they begin to cry, and eventually bow with them in prayer.....openly and in the most transparent way, she became available to them. It is my desire as well....and the Lord has honored that over the past few years......with obedience comes great blessings.

So I no longer worry that I am not 'officially' ministering in my local church.....I know that is a temporary thing and it won't be long before I am again surrounded by little ones in a tiny Sunday school classroom somewhere out in the deserts of New Mexico......I look forward to it. But I also look forward to continuing in this work that the Lord has so graciously and carefully placed before me. I do count it a great privilege to be a part of it.....it's one of the amazing blessings that He has given me......that He has promised me.

I have fallen away from my "grateful" list, and blogging in general....hopefully, as we settle into a camp routine, I will be able to find the time to get back here.....
no time like the present!.....

.....a stomach virus that only lasted a day and a half (340)
.....an awesome time on top of Mt Taylor (341)....an indescribable view (342)
.....watching the kids bike down that huge mountain! (343)
....the provision of the Lord (344)
....enough staff to open all our cabins (345)
....a full camp for next week!! (346)
....seeing the Lord stretch people (347)
....the Lord stretching ME (348)
....the encouragement and support of my friends here at BABR (349)
....having friends to walk through this ministry with (350)
....the many, many, smiles on camper faces (351)
....seeing counselors giving piggy back rides (352)
....Peter's excitement over catching 3 horny toads and 3 lizards (353)
....Abby's love for horses (354)
....being able to encourage the weary (355)
....my sweet California friend (356)
....phone calls from home...WV...(357)
....and the laughter that comes with it (358)
....homemade chicken noodle soup (359).....TWO bowls of it (360)
....taking time to build relationships (361)
....Godly role models for my children (362)
....finding "kindredness" in unlikely places (363)
....a group of guys willing to build Peter a bedroom (364)
....the opportunity to disciple (365)
....the powerful skit on thursday night (366)
....holding a camper in my lap, while she sobs (367)
.....being able to feel her pain (368)
.....the love of God (369)
....the promise of an abundant life (370)
....a cold, but amazing campfire (371)
....commitments to follow Christ (372)
....relaxing with the family (373)
....opportunities to seek wisdom from God (374)
....laundry that is DONE! (375)
....a nice, quiet walk to get some thinking done (376)
....new friendships (377)
....the passing of that 'overwhelming' feeling (378)
....clarity (379)
....Father's Day (380)....and my Heavenly Father (381)
.... comfort (382)
....the hope of more to come (383)

One week down.....7 more to go!

Well, we just finished up our first week of camp.....what a ride!!
We started the summer short staffed, which was a little stressful a day before camp, but the Lord provided a wonderful workteam from Oklahoma to come alongside and fill in the gaps....praise the Lord! Because of them, we were able to open up six more cabins and we were at full capacity....this place was overflowing with kids!! It's a great feeling and an awesome sight!
For the most part, everything went smoothly....there was a stomach virus that made its way through the parts of the camp, but overall a very successful week. Many kids came to know the Lord....others made decisions to rededicate their lives to the Lord....and sadly, some walked away unchanged. But the seed was planted and in some cases, the walls are beginning to come down. Please be in prayer for all the children who were exposed to the Gospel this past week....many go back to difficult circumstances....their decision to follow Christ will most likely be met with opposition. It's the reality of this culture.

We (the mlekodajs) are resting today for the most part. Although we still have some responsibilities over the weekend, we are trying to guard our time and enjoy each other. I have missed my husband and children lots this week.....I usually leave before my kids get up and often get home as they are going to bed. Although we cross paths often during the day, it's not the same. I am trying to balance my camp responsibilities and my family.....it can be a juggling act, but I am trying to be wise with my time and energy. So far, the kids love 'camp life' and don't seem to mind the time away from our normal routine. For them, this week was full of horseback riding, losing teeth (the twins each lost one), riding bikes and catching lizards and horny toads.....they are in kid heaven!!!!

We look forward to another profitable week of camp....Monday registration will be here before we know it!

Spring Snow

We were not even completely settled into our new desert home yet, when a freak snow storm hit....Of course, i was amazed to see ANY snow this time of year here, but I was speechless to wake up the next morning to over 6 inches of snow covering our sand and rock landscape! I really didn't know what to do...the kids kept wanting to go out and play in it but I was still in shock! (that's my kids and Holly, the camp directors daughter in the picture)

But finally, we dug out our sleds (which were barely unpacked!) and headed out to enjoy the mysterious snow fall....and my kids could have cared less if it were the middle of May or the middle of January....it was all the same to them! It was just comical because literally, a day before, Hannah got a bad sunburn because it was 90 degrees outside...so before i let her go out and play in the snow, I had to treat her sunburn with aloe vera.....a combination I had never done before!!

The kids enjoyed the 2 days of winter wonderland, and since then, there hasn't been a cloud in the sky and the temperatures stay in the 80's and 90's.
The snow is forgotten, the sleds are officially put away for the year, and the bathing suits and sunscreen are in abundance......summer is officially here! I think!.......