Wednesday, December 31, 2008

More from In Touch devotional...

Brokenness: The Way to Blessing
2 Corinthians 12:7-9

No one enjoys heartache. Yet God uses pain to mold His children. Although wonderful, happy times feel great, times of suffering tend to produce growth.
Brokenness is God's way of dealing with the part of us that wants to act independently of Him. He targets areas that hinder His purposes. Then skillfully and lovingly, our Father arranges circumstances that will allow us enough discomfort to realize our dependence upon Him.
The apostle Paul experienced this. After being saved on the road to Damascus, he still needed spiritual growth in order to be most effective for Christ. Therefore, God allowed some type of affliction, which the apostle termed a "thorn." Three different times, he pleaded with the Lord for its removal, but the thorn remained. Remarkably, Paul's response was gratitude. Even more, he wrote, "That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong."
Like Paul, we can dislike suffering and yet still be confident that God is growing us. His purpose is that we walk in intimate oneness with Him and serve effectively according to His purpose and will. To accomplish this, He has to break us of our rebellion, resistance, and self-will.

Many things pricked my heart in the above passage, but there was one phrase that did so more than the others: "....walk in intimate oneness with Him....". It is something that I daily try to keep in front of me...that intimacy with Christ and staying in it.
Recently, a portion of Scripture was brought to me that reminded me of that intimacy and how we should desire that fellowship with our Savior....
"But Mary stood outside of the tomb weeping; and as she wept, she stooped down, and looked into the tomb.
And seeing two angels in white sitting, the one at the head, and the other at the feet, where the body of Jesus had lain.
And they say to her, Woman, why are you weeping? She said to them, Because they have taken away my Lord, and I don't know where they have laid him. "
Mary was already so distraught that her Savior had died.....now she was even more heartbroken that she was separated from Him in death....that she could not see His body and give it a proper burial. Her devotion to Christ is a testimony to the intimacy she had with Him.....
but then.....
"And after she said this, she turned back, and saw Jesus standing, but didn't know it was Him.
Jesus said to her, Woman, why are you crying? Whom are you seeking? Thinking he was the gardener, said to him, Sir, if you have taken him from here, tell me where you have laid him and I will take him away."
Now at first, this does not seem to attest to the fact that she knew Him well at all....she didn't even recognize Him as He stood before her. That is the way I think I must look sometimes....standing there crying, distraught, feeling lost, wanting so desperately for my Savior to be standing right beside me. And, true to who He is....there He stands.
Regardless, I am still confident that she knew Him, although slow to recognize Him in His altered, resurrected body....
"Jesus said to her, Mary. She turned herself and said to him, Rabboni;, which means Master."
It wasn't until Jesus said her name, the most intimate possession we have, that she finally realized who was standing before her. How many times before had He said her name? I would imagine that throughout his short time of earthly ministry that He had said her name more than is actually recorded....after all, she is a woman drastically changed by His teaching, His example and His words.
I desire that kind of intimacy....that with just one word, I will recognize not only my Savior, but recognize His faithfulness to always be everything I need....recognize that He will never leave me or forsake me, despite the fact that my circumstances make it seem that I am all alone.
Thank you Lord, for knowing my name.......

Saturday, December 27, 2008

Christmas Ministry

We had the opportunity to spend the Sunday before Christmas out on the reservation with dear friends and their ministry. The Butler's pastor a small Navajo church and every year they have a huge distribution around Christmas time....we decided to go down and help out this year. We had never been and didn't know what to expect. The church and home were both very modest, in need of some repairs but the people we so hospitable and kind. We love to spend time with the Butlers!
After a sweet time of worship in music, Tulley (pastor) brought the message of God's gift to us....and although the message was in Navajo, I was able to understand parts of it and was encouraged by it. During the message, more and more people were starting to pile into the tiny church.....and by the time we went back on stage to sing after the message, there was standing room only!
After we fed the masses (a generous supporting church supplied the cow that they butchered and served that day), the distribution began. I still did not know what to expect but just jumped in to help. I had heard that they anded out bags of supplies to everyone, from infants to grandmas....I was excited to be a part of it.
So as the first group lined up (little kids), the workers pulled out the many, many totes they had stored....and we started filling walmart bags full of toys and clothes....but it wasn't exactly what I expected. These toys were all used....and not just used but often broken, stained and torn. As I held the bag open for the workers to fill with these broken, used toys, I almost felt bad as I turned to hand them to the waiting children.....but then I was humbled and blessed at the same time as I saw the big smiles on each of their faces as they received their bag of goodies. And it didn't stop there...the adults were just as appreciative as they received socks, lotions and sacks of potatoes. It was an amazing thing to be a part of....and for my children to be a part of as well. It is definitely good for them to see that there are children who struggle and who do not have all the privileges that they have. And it was good to see them come home and pull out some of their toys that they want to donate for next year....and I hope to be able to help out each year as well. Please pray for the people of Counselor (the tiny reservation community) and their many needs.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Thanksgiving

While on my 7 week trip, I had many things to be thankful for. I have really slacked off on my "1000 things to be thankful for" here, so I thought I would try to 'catch up' by listing some of the things from our trip. The Lord is good....all the time...

...safety during the entire 7500 miles (684)
...a great time with Aaron, Jess, and my beautiful nephew! (685)
...lots of laughter (686)
...seeing "Gia" (687)
...fun times with old friends in WV (688)
...new tires for our van (689)
...3 weeks with my dear Betsy (690)
...celebrating Isaac's first birthday (691)
...God's provision (692)
...a new laptop (693)
...lots of Chick-fil-a (694)
...late nights (695)
...breakfast with "the gang" (696)
...AMAZINGLY generous supporters in GA (697)
...going to church with my Grandmother (698)
...watching her be so proud to show off her great great grandchildren (699)
...being 'spoiled' by my mom and stepdad (700)
...great time at the zoo and Stone Mountain (701)
...having someone to share the burden of my family's "lostness" with (702)
...a hilarious baking day with my female family (703)
...knowing that God is in control, despite the bad news (704)
...resting in the fact that God is my true Father (705)
...loving my NM home so much that I was LONGING for it by the end of the trip (706)
...my layover in Arkansas (707)
...way too much laughter during a serious movie (708)
...listening to my friend play the piano (709)
...growth, small as it may be (710)
...arriving home safe and sound (711)

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

As I walk out of my church each week, there is a little table by the door, full of pamphlets, news letters, devotionals, etc. I usually skim through everything and once in a while, I will pick up the monthly devotional booklet sent out by In Touch ministries (Charles Stanley is from my hometown!). Sometimes I find the time to go through it, sometimes it gets 'recycled'.
This past Sunday I picked up the devotional and put it in my Bible. This morning, as I was opening my Bible for my quiet time, I noticed it and decided to look through it. This particular daily devotional caught my eye......it's nothing profound or deep, but I always take it personally when i find something that describes where I am at that particular moment..... :)

John 11:1-6
When Lazarus was dying, his sisters urgently called for Jesus. Imagine how their grief must have been compounded when He didn't instantly respond to their request.
God's silence is difficult to accept. We want Him to leap into action when we call, particularly if we are hurting or afraid. But since He promises to meet our needs, we can be sure that a silence from heaven has a purpose.
Silence grabs our attention. The disciples knew that Jesus could heal, so they must have wondered why He delayed instead of rushing to His friend's bedside. But the Lord wanted them to witness something even greater: His power over death. They had been confused by His statements about conquering death, and they needed to understand that He could fulfull His own resurrection prophecies (Mark 9:31-32). The miracle at Lazarus' tomb was part of their preparation.
Silence teaches us to trust. Mary and Martha sent word of Lazarus' illness because they anticipated that the Lord would heal him. But would their faith waver if that expectation was not met? Martha answered the question by stating, "I believe that you are the Christ" (John 11:21-27). The Lord rewarded the women's trust with a stunning miracle: their brother's return to life.
At times, the only thing we can hear when we pray is our own breathing. That can be frustrating and frightening. But the Scripture says God is always with us, and His silence will not last forever (Job 23:8-10, Heb 13:5). Cling to those promises as you seek the purpose behind His silence.

Friday, December 5, 2008

I know....you're shocked to see movement here on my blog. Actually, I don't even know if anyone checks here anymore since it's been over TWO months since I've posted anything. I should have announced that I was going to be out of town for 7 weeks and wouldn't be here much....or not at all. There's no way I can catch you up on the past 2 months so I will just have to start fresh....assuring you that during my time away the Lord has continued to be faithful, good and true to me and my family. We absolutely love our new life here in New Mexico and I am so glad to be home after such a long road trip.....home sweet home.
We are busy here at the camp with retreats and conferences....it's a neat part of the year. And we, as a family are trying to get our home ready for the Christmas season. I am much later this year than usual, but better late than never!
Right now there is a group here from CA....they come every year with TRUCKS full of supplies to give out to the Native pastors in the area. It's a sight to see! Some of the pastors came in tonight....more will come tomorrow. And they will load up their cars and trucks with all the wonderful things the group from CA brought.....blankets, food, food, and more food.....wrapping paper, and many more 'goodies'. The pastors will take them back to their churches and pass them out to those in need. What a sweet ministry! I had the pleasure of doing dishes after we fed the 100+ people and as I was scraping mashed potatoes off the plates, I could hear the sweet sound of singing coming from the area around the fireplace in the lodge......the pastors and their families had gathered together and were singing....sometimes in English, sometimes in Navajo.....it was beautiful. This was true worship.....the heart of those whose lives are committed to reaching the lost with the Gospel. True worship.....it touched my own heart.
I wrote (many months ago) about being feeling like I was in a spiritual drought.....tonight was like a light spring rain on my face....refreshing, sweet......as I stood, elbow deep in gravy and mashed potatoes, I worshiped. Surrounded by people, yet alone with God.....it was much needed. And although I realize that was probably not the end of my dry season, I see the end in sight.
There have been circumstances in my life recently (some out of my control, some very much in my control) that have caused great weariness....and in that weariness there has been what seems like a quietness coming from the Lord.....does that make sense? I don't at all believe that He has left me or forsaken me, but I just haven't really felt like I've heard from Him in a confirming way on how to handle things. That has made it very much feel like a drought. And although I still walk through my day and I still am making progress in my ministry, there has been a lonliness that has accompanied each day.
A friend recently sent me a magazine.....I assumed it would take several days before I could even pick it up, but today, when my house started getting busy (both the girls and peter each had a friend over) I decided to try something new. I grabbed my new magazine and headed to the bathtub (i'm a shower kind of girl!). I needed some quiet time.....so badly, that I didn't even let the black widow I found in the bathtub deter me (my hubby came and took care of it for me!! )! I read something in that magazine that just clicked.....
"So, the quickest way to solve the problem of earthly trouble and need is to be about the Father's business. Weep and mourn only for those things that rend the heart of your Father in Heaven and grieve His Holy Spirit. Labor and long only for those things which have eternal value".
Now that concept isn't so profound in itself, but it just struck a chord in me.....
am I grieving these circumstances because of how they effect me, or how they effect my Father in Heaven? I'm ashamed of my answer.....
Now that in itself doesn't solve my struggle with God's silence right now, but it does help me to put things in perspective and to organize things in my mind (i'm very much an 'organizer'!). There are things I can't deal with now (because they are completely out of my control), yet they still consume a portion of my thoughts.....but I need to change my emotion toward them. I need to stop focusing on how they effect me and hurt me, and instead see it through the eyes of God. (This probably only makes sense to me! I'm just writing/thinking out loud!). And then there are the things that I do have some control over.....I need to again change my perspective and see if/how my reaction to those things grieve Him. That is a much harder one.....
Then I need to labor (work toward, put effort forth) in these areas....ugh!...growth is hard and it hurts!! :)
So, as I kept reading in this magazine, I came across this paragraph.....
"If we find ourselves bored with, or uninterested in the Scriptures, the problem lies with us, not with the Word. If we're not hungry for the Word, our spiritual diet is messed up, and is in need of a cleansing. It's like we've just stuffed ourselves with things that, good or bad, just can't measure up to the nutritionally sustaining Word. At that point, our hearts and lives have gotten just too busy processing and thinking about life's activities, the books and movies we consume, the conversations we had with friends, etc. We need to back off for a time, even of some of those good things, get quiet and get our hunger back for the Word of God, taking in the living, breathing breath of life so we can truly live".
I'm not saying that I am 'uninterested or bored' with the Scriptures these days...I still see them as sustaining, true, alive......if it hadn't been for my times with the Lord, i would be a total mess right now. But because of the lonliness that seems to hang over me these days, I have lost some of my enthusiasm about my Bible times. That is a new thing for me.....
but the thing that stuck out to me the most was the last part of that paragraph......about backing off for a time and getting quiet before the Lord. And although I felt like I have done that at times, it was probably with a wrong perspective......expecting instant help and encouragement....not silence. But after reading and reflecting some today, I have a feeling that when I go back to the Word with this different perspective, I will realize that He hasn't been as quiet as I thought. We all know that He sometimes speaks in a whisper......I think the "loudness" of my hurt, my frustrations, my expectations have probably drowned out that whisper. I'm looking forward to taking some time for myself.....removing some distractions and focusing on Him and His heart concerning these circumstances.

Wow, that was a load, huh? Again, probably didn't make much sense to anyone but me.....I'm not always very good at spilling it, but I think every now and then it's good to just physically unload.

Regardless of our circumstances.....times of drought or times of refreshment.....times of joy or times of sorrow......lonliness or comfort.....He is still good. It's a simple word and a simple concept, yet it often gets lost in our selfishness. God is good, all the time.....all the time, God is good!