Enough

God is really all we need....He is "enough". That is a truth that is said many times in our christian circles....I've even said it several times myself. But I'm not sure if I always believe that, or even live according to that truth....

Last night I drove, like I do every week, an hour out to Ft Wingate. It's a boarding school for navajo kids, and a couple other ladies and I teach Bible lessons there. Usually, when we arrive, the first little girl to see us coming starts spreading the word that we are there and by the time we get to the meeting room, everyone is buzzing and excited that it's time for another "church" time (well, most of them, anyways). This week we arrived as usual at 6pm and were greeted by an empty, very quiet meeting room. There was not a girl in sight, on the whole wing. They had gone on a 'field day' to a local park. No one had bothered to call us, no one had given thought to our plans to come out and spend time with the girls. It was discouraging, to say the least.
Well, as Ruth and Ann headed downstairs to teach the little boys (who ALSO were on that same field trip, they soon found out!) I headed over to the older girls, glad that my drive out there was not going to be a total waste. As I rounded the corner I could hear the talking and laughing coming from their meeting room. I was glad to hear they weren't gone for the afternoon as well. So as I started my teaching and began to share my heart with these girls, it soon became apparent that they had very little interest in what I was saying. Now that in itself is nothing new, but I knew the dorm parent had really come down on them about how they treat visitors and for the past couple of weeks, they had at least sat quietly and 'pretended' to be interested. But this week, it was back to reality. As I shared the final lesson in my study of Proverbs 6 and the seven things that God detests, the girls mocked the Scripture, talked openly amongst themselves, made faces, and overall seemed annoyed that I was even there. When I tried to encourage them about my next week's lesson on the death and resurrection of the Savior, they only replied, "ok, cool, now leave". When I let them know that I was praying for them as they finished up their school year, again the reply was 'thanks, now bye'. My closing prayer was the shortest ever as I could hardly hold back the tears. I wasn't sad they had rejected me, although that's not the best feeling in the world....I have a pretty tough skin when it comes to teen agers. But my heart just suddenly became so tired and weary that I thought I would just completely fall apart in exhaustion.
I left as quickly as I could and waited til I was in the sanctuary of my van before I finally let myself cry. As I pulled out of the parking lot, a song came on.....Enough, by Barlow Girls. I like that song ok....never thought much about it....but as I pulled out onto the lonely 2 lane road headed back to the interstate, I was struck by the words...simple and true...."all of You, is more than enough for me..." I almost laughed at the simplicity of it and my response to those girls....I was getting all upset about what response I thought I "needed" from those girls....but really, I had everything I needed in my Savior. And although, in that moment it was hard to have my needs met in an 'intangible' way (I wanted to call someone and just sit and cry for a long time!), I just allowed myself to really grasp that truth and rest in it.....it was much easier than I thought it would be.
I still cried most of the way home, but there was a peace that was there now.....a peace that passes all understanding.

My times at Ft Wingate will still not be "fun" as long as the girls continue with that attitude....but I'm praying I can leave with a better attitude each week, knowing that I truly have all I need, and that's 'enough'.

ENOUGH (by Barlow Girl)

All of You is more than enough for
All of me for every thirst and every need
You satisfy me with Your love
And all I have in You
Is more than enough

You are my supply
My breath of life
Still more awesome than I know
You are my reward
Worth living for
Still more awesome than I know

You're my sacrifice of greatest price
Still more awesome than I know
You're my coming King You're everything
Still more awesome than I know