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Brokenness: The Way to Blessing
2 Corinthians 12:7-9

No one enjoys heartache. Yet God uses pain to mold His children. Although wonderful, happy times feel great, times of suffering tend to produce growth.
Brokenness is God's way of dealing with the part of us that wants to act independently of Him. He targets areas that hinder His purposes. Then skillfully and lovingly, our Father arranges circumstances that will allow us enough discomfort to realize our dependence upon Him.
The apostle Paul experienced this. After being saved on the road to Damascus, he still needed spiritual growth in order to be most effective for Christ. Therefore, God allowed some type of affliction, which the apostle termed a "thorn." Three different times, he pleaded with the Lord for its removal, but the thorn remained. Remarkably, Paul's response was gratitude. Even more, he wrote, "That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong."
Like Paul, we can dislike suffering and yet still be confident that God is growing us. His purpose is that we walk in intimate oneness with Him and serve effectively according to His purpose and will. To accomplish this, He has to break us of our rebellion, resistance, and self-will.

Many things pricked my heart in the above passage, but there was one phrase that did so more than the others: "....walk in intimate oneness with Him....". It is something that I daily try to keep in front of me...that intimacy with Christ and staying in it.
Recently, a portion of Scripture was brought to me that reminded me of that intimacy and how we should desire that fellowship with our Savior....
"But Mary stood outside of the tomb weeping; and as she wept, she stooped down, and looked into the tomb.
And seeing two angels in white sitting, the one at the head, and the other at the feet, where the body of Jesus had lain.
And they say to her, Woman, why are you weeping? She said to them, Because they have taken away my Lord, and I don't know where they have laid him. "
Mary was already so distraught that her Savior had died.....now she was even more heartbroken that she was separated from Him in death....that she could not see His body and give it a proper burial. Her devotion to Christ is a testimony to the intimacy she had with Him.....
but then.....
"And after she said this, she turned back, and saw Jesus standing, but didn't know it was Him.
Jesus said to her, Woman, why are you crying? Whom are you seeking? Thinking he was the gardener, said to him, Sir, if you have taken him from here, tell me where you have laid him and I will take him away."
Now at first, this does not seem to attest to the fact that she knew Him well at all....she didn't even recognize Him as He stood before her. That is the way I think I must look sometimes....standing there crying, distraught, feeling lost, wanting so desperately for my Savior to be standing right beside me. And, true to who He is....there He stands.
Regardless, I am still confident that she knew Him, although slow to recognize Him in His altered, resurrected body....
"Jesus said to her, Mary. She turned herself and said to him, Rabboni;, which means Master."
It wasn't until Jesus said her name, the most intimate possession we have, that she finally realized who was standing before her. How many times before had He said her name? I would imagine that throughout his short time of earthly ministry that He had said her name more than is actually recorded....after all, she is a woman drastically changed by His teaching, His example and His words.
I desire that kind of intimacy....that with just one word, I will recognize not only my Savior, but recognize His faithfulness to always be everything I need....recognize that He will never leave me or forsake me, despite the fact that my circumstances make it seem that I am all alone.
Thank you Lord, for knowing my name.......