Sometimes i can get really discouraged in this ministry. I know I shouldn't....I should focus on the goodness of God and not on the circumstances or even the lack of 'fruit'....but sometimes it does hit me and I think, "why am I doing this?" It doesnt' happen often, but discouragement in the ministy does happen every now and then.
The past few days I have received some pretty discouraging news about some teens and families that I have worked with in the past. Seems it always comes in "waves". It's the classic 2 steps forward, one step (sometimes two steps) back. I think of the time and energy invested in those people and get bummed that it seems all a waste. Even though I know, deep down inside, it's not a waste....that we, as Christians are supposed to continue to do good.....my flesh feels the sadness and the frustration in it all.
Even tonight, as I sat at a local restaurant celebrating a friend's birthday, I found myself overcome with that discouragement. One friend shared news of a former camp staff that has strayed away from God.....at the same time, the 'birthday girl', someone I have counseled, studied the Word with, and spent hours listening to her, ordered her second round of drinks and made plans to go out dancing at a local club later. My heart was heavy the rest of the evening....the drive home was long.....my night is sleepless.

I am discouraged, yet, at the same time, I am not overcome.....I am saddened, but i am not defeated. I know that tomorrow I will still get up, head to town and to a basketball game (the birthday girl's daughter's game) and I will continue on in relationships....even the ones that are hard.....knowing that God is faithful and I am not to grow weary in doing good. I will continue to love, to teach, to encourage and to exhaust myself in the Lord's work....failure or success will not change who God is.....
BUT, Lord, if you see fit to bring along some encouragement and even a little bit of "fruit", I will be ever so thankful..... :)