Joy

In Sunday School we continue to read through Bridges, The Practice of Godliness.....a great book. This past week we looked at the characteristic of "joy". I've heard, more than once, the difference between 'joy' and 'happiness'....the first being a result of our salvation and the latter being a result of our circumstances. I get that...and I see that in my life. My happiness is often effected by what is going on around me.....how my kids are behaving, what my husband is doing (or not doing), when I fall behind on my responsibilities, or even something as small as running out of hot water in the shower....all those things can easily affect my "happiness". But our joy should be something different. The joy of the Lord is something that shouldn't fluctuate with our circumstances....it should have it's foundation and stability in God and His steadfast love for us. And for the most part, I think I live that....although, my countenance and outward attitude may show frustration and irritability, deep down I am confident who God is and that He only wants the best for me.
Even in Sunday school, I listened as some people could not get their mind wrapped around that concept....asking how can we have "joy" when terrible, tragic things happen in our lives. I'm kind of a black and white type of person....I don't like 'gray' areas. In my mind I was saying, 'It's simple, just look at who God is and what He has done for us and continues to do for us...focus on that".....seems like a simple concept. UNTIL, I have a day like I had a couple days ago....wow....have I been humbled. It wasn't a bad day as far as daily circumstances....my kids were doing ok, hubby was helpful, I was getting stuff done....even had enough hot water in the shower! On this day, there was 'inner' stress....one of those days where my weakness, my failures, my fears, my very own sin sat in front of me all day....never budging, never hidden from my sight, always before me. I found little rest that day, even though I brought it before the Lord all throughout the day. I don't doubt that He heard me....I was confident of that...but man it made for a long day and there came a point where I think my joy was wavering. I was 'downcast in my soul' and ugh, it was no fun! I was humbled because I was catching a real, and painful glimpse of not living in the joy of the Lord. I am so glad I didn't open my mouth in Sunday school and blurt out how easy it should be for us to have that joy! Lesson learned!
And just so you know, there was a 'joyful' ending to that story....the Lord has been gracious and kind to walk with me through that difficult day, and although I will still continue to struggle those areas, I saw small growth and progress toward victory! And, I am even enjoying parts of the progress too....who would have thought!