Well, this morning I decided to go and close down my other site, since it's not being used anymore...but before doing so, I thought I would transfer a few over here....as a time of reflection for me and something new for anyone who passes by here. It's been interesting to go back and see where I was a year ago......in some ways I was in a very different place, surrounded by different people, involved in different things, etc....but in other ways, it was a very similar place.....a place of learning, a place of growth....and God was using circumstances, people and His Word to do that back then, just as He is using those things to teach me and grow me now.
From the mouths of babes.....(Jan 2007)
ok, I came home from swimming lessons in a self-absorbed, self-centered mood. My legs were hurting more than usual....couldn't even work out because of it. Sometimes the pain makes me grouchy and lacking sympathy for those around me. So we get home, I reheat the dinner I fixed before we left, put the kids at the table and fall into the recliner, not even desiring to eat or be in the presence of tired kids......
they start to dig into their mac and cheese, then Abby announces that "mommy' forgot to pray....great!....something else I failed at tonight...yippee! I told her to go ahead and pray, which she very willingly did:
"dear Jesus,
thank you for this food mommy made, help it to make us strong (the usual beginning).....please help mommy not to have hurts anymore, no more headaches and leg hurts.....and please help the people who don't have any homes tonight to find a warm place to sleep.....help the people who are sick to get better.....help the people who are by themselves to find friends......thank you for dying on the cross for us....amen"
In that 20 second prayer, I was completely convicted of my selfish attitude and lack of compassion for others.....pretty disgusted that my biggest worry was a missed workout and some slightly annoying aches and pains. the windchill will be in single digits tonight and there will be people trying to sleep in that.....
....out of the mouths of babes......
thank you Lord for the sensitive heart of a 7 year old, not yet as tainted with the selfishness that I fight with every day......lesson learned :)
specifics (jan 2007)
I know how frustrated I get when people do not say exactly what they mean....when they aren't specific in letting me know exactly what they need...frustrating.
Well, I realized yesterday, that I am very hypocrytical when it comes to that.....
I was coming home last night from a SL party and realized that the road going up my mountain was very icy......I just threw up a vague prayer to God..."God, help me get up my mountain"....Well, about a quarter the way up the hill, I realized that my van (carrying myself and my 7 year old) was not going to make it. So again, I said another prayer which lacked details, expressing my desire to get home....."God, please help us to get home safe and sound".
As we slid down the hill backwards, others were coming up behind me causing things to get backed up....I continued to pray out loud, asking God to simply help us.
When I made it back to the bottom and realized that Abby and I were going to have to hike the almost mile long road home in the almost 0 degree weather, I felt a prayer come from deep down somewhere, asking God to please send someone to help us, someone to know our dilemma. As I was arranging to leave my van at the end of the road, neighbors of ours pulled up and asked if we needed help getting up the hill (they were in the group of cars that had to back up to let me down).....I graciously accepted the ride and we began our drive up the icy hill. About 1/2 way up we started to lose traction and were no longer moving forward.....again, I prayed specifically for someone to help......I looked out the window and saw my husband beside the car....he was on his way down the mountain to meet us and walk up with us. With his and my help (and the kitty litter the neighbors carried in their trunk) we made it up the hill to their house and then walked the rest of the way home. As I sat in my mil's living room, trying to get feeling in my fingers again, I realized how vague I had been with my need before God.....and how quickly He responded when I simply spoke in detail.
It's a lesson learned about really making our needs known.....and as much as I trust God, I still find it tough to be open and transparent when it comes to my needs. But how faithful He is to meet every need, to respond without hesitation when we are in crisis, to not be judgemental about WHY we are in need, just to simply come.
It is my desire to be more open with God, but also in my relationships here....in my friendships, with my family, etc. That's a tough one, but I'm willing to give it a try!
(see B, I was struggling with it WAAAAAYYYYYY back then too!!.....ongoing!!!!.....ugh!!!)
1 comment:
You made me laugh out loud again.......you were probably talking about ME in the first paragraph of that post! We've come a long way, baby, with God's help and "encouragement".
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