TIRED (April 2007)
It's another sleepless night.....yikes! Slept for about 2 hours, then woke up and can't fall back asleep......
as frustrating as it is, I know it's just part of the 'work'.....right?......"Bear one another's burdens, and thus fulfill the law of the Lord" Galatians 6:2
Usually it's the Lord prompting me to pray for someone.....not a problem....I count it a privilege....yes, even at 3:15am! (I'm praying for you B!)
And sometimes the quiet pre-dawn hours are meant for me......every now and then, it's myself I need to pray for.....I admit, there are times that I let the needs of others come before my own.....not because I am so spiritual or self-sacrificing.....I'm positive I'm more selfish than most.....but it is actually easier to focus on the needs of others than face our own sometimes.......know what I mean?
Regardless of WHY I am awake and praying, I'd be lying if I said it didn't take it's toll on me at times....physically, emotionally, and spiritually......sometimes I feel like I can't refuel fast enough.....I'm spending more than I am taking in....
that's when Matthew 11:28-30 become so real to me......
you know it.....""Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you, and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart; and you shall find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy, and My load is light."
I know this verse speaks more about yoking yourself with Christ in salvation, but there is encouragement to be found for us too.....
to 'take His yoke upon us', strikes me as a one time event.....basically, salvation. it's the 'and learn from me' part that paints a picture of an ongoing act......we are to continue to learn, daily, from Christ.....from His word, from interaction with Him, from prayer, from other believers, etc.....and in that continual process, we will find rest for our souls.....that encourages me.....
and I want it to encourage others.......I want people to see that kind of "rest" in me....
when I am really tired and weary, there are outward signs......I get these gorgeous dark circles under my eyes, I break out, usually have a queasy stomach.....some of those closer to me even say my right eye gets droopy! And we've all done it...pasted on that smile and looked happy to be wherever..... always answering "fine" to the popular question of "how are you doing?".........but really, my prayer is that I won't have to fake any smiles or tell little white lies about how I'm really feeling....that because of the beautiful rest my Savior gives me, I will truly be fresh and excited about all the tasks and people He places in my path......that in that rest, I will find true joy......that is my prayer for today......as I head to the gym with a friend, as I go to breakfast with a couple dear ladies (relationships I have neglected for a while and are struggling), as I do school with my children, as I meet a precious new friend for lunch, as I spend time with other moms at the bowling alley, even as I attend a birthday party later tonight.....I pray that the Lord blinds them to all the outward signs of my exhaustion, and they see the love I have for them AND my God.......
well, the sun will be coming up soon and my day will be officially starting.....thank you for your prayers..... know that you are in mine often.......
Psalm 126 (April 2007)
On Wednesday nights we are studying the "Songs of Degree" Psalms.....there are about 15 of them.....very cool
Tonight we looked at Psalm 126...the whole thing, but we focused in on verses 5-6. Most people associate those verses with "soul winning" and evangelism.....but tonight we shifted it a little and looked at it from another angle.....
"they that sow in tears shall reap in joy. He that goeth forth and weepeth, bearing precious seed, shall doubtless come again with rejoicing, bringing his sheaves with him"
Sowing does apply to evangelism, but it also applies to our daily ministry opportunities...the work we do and the time we invest in others......
Galatians 6:7-8 "Be not deceived, God is not mocked, for whatever a many soweth, that shall he also reap. For he that soweth to his flesh shall of the flesh reap corruption, but he that soweth to the Spirit shall of the Spirit reap life everlasting" That is an easy enough concept.....basically....you reap WHAT you sow.
Hosea 8:7 "For they sow the wind, and they reap the whirlwind....." meaning, you reap MORE than you sow...that could be a scary thing!
Hosea 10:12 "Sow with a view to righteousness, Reap in accordance with kindness; Break up your fallow ground, For it is time to seek the Lord Until He comes to rain righteousness on you" IICor 9:6 "Now this I say, he who sows sparingly shall also reap sparingly; and he who sows bountifully shall also reap bountifully."......you are RESPONSIBLE for what you sow.
Those are very good points......enlightening to a point.....but the part that I knew was just for me, was when he said this.....
in verse 5, when it says 'those who sow in tears will reap with joy', it seems like a contradiction to the rest....usually, you reap what you sow....not reap the opposite of what you sow......but it might mean that when you sow in tears, it's not necessarily a bad thing.....doesn't mean you are sowing in sin or sowing fruitless things like the wind......it may just mean you are sowing in a time of affliction, a time of trial, a time of exhaustion......I think we have all been there.....and when we are there, the last thing we want to do is SOW!.....we want to lay down and cry for a while, maybe curl up in the fetal position and just stay put for awhile......but I don't think that is what we are supposed to do.....I think we are supposed to keep sowing....keep working....and in that, we will reap with 'joyful shouting'.......
A few days ago, I was really tired.....and in that exhaustion, I got mad....(thankfully, i had a sweet friend who let me whine for awhile!)....but I was mad at a lot of things....I was mad that in that moment, I still had to give of myself....I still had to 'sow' and I didn't feel like it....but that is not what we are called to do....we are to sow, even in tears....in frustration...in exhaustion.....the Lord will bring us the joy He promises us through the reaping.....that is encouraging and comforting.
Thank you Lord, that if we bring our tears and afflictions to You, You will turn them to joy!
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